Ten Days to Live, A Lifetime to Never Forgive

3: 3

3

"Then what are you doing here?"

I forced down the sob in my throat, my eyes fixed on the doll in Winifred's hands.

Clive's face went taut, and almost by instinct he stepped sideways, blocking my line of sight completely.

"Amy Henson, what are you trying to do?"

"Whatever's between you and me, leave Winnie out of it!"

Winifred came forward and tugged at his sleeve, her eyes filming over with tears.

"Clive, don't speak to my sister like that."

She managed a small smile in my direction.

"If you like the doll, sister, I can give it to you…"

Before she finished, she was already tipping backward.

My hand shot out on instinct, and in the same moment my mother's and brother's voices came down on me.

"Amy Henson! What are you doing?"

Valentine rushed over in a few strides, shoved me hard aside, and caught Winifred, steadying her.

I stumbled, and before I could find my footing a slap exploded across my face.

Pain tore straight up into my skull, and my ears rang.

Vanessa's eyes were dark, fixed on me without mercy.

"How could I have given birth to a daughter with a heart as vicious as yours?"

"Everything you asked for, I gave you. What more could you possibly want?"

Her chest heaved.

"And you dared to follow us? You, a trueborn daughter of the Henson family, do you have a shred of breeding in you?"

I swallowed the iron taste in my mouth, slowly turned my head straight, and looked at the three of them shielding Winifred behind their backs. A low laugh slipped out of me.

"I have no breeding?"

"And Winifred does?"

"A young lady of the house, this close in secret with her sister's betrothed. Is that the breeding you're talking about?"

"Winnie and I signed a betrothal contract. Don't stand there spouting lies!"

Clive shot back, his voice sharp with urgency.

My whole body went rigid, as if someone had dumped a basin of ice water over my head.

"What did you say?

Valentine, seeing there was no hiding it now, drew his brows together and looked at me with disappointment written all over his face.

"The truth is, your betrothal to young Mr. Gilbert was broken off long ago. The one he's marrying at year's end is Winnie."

"After you came back, Winnie was afraid you'd be married off elsewhere and mistreated, so she offered to become young Mr. Gilbert's concubine instead."

"And this is how you repay her? Slandering her good name just to ruin her!"

My body shook and would not stop. I looked at my mother and asked hoarsely,

"This… this was your decision, wasn't it?"

"It was. What of it?"

She looked down at me, utterly unshaken.

"You were born of me. Marriage is decided by a parent's word and a matchmaker's arrangement!"

"Your marriage is mine to decide!"

I dug my nails hard into my palm, holding back the tears.

"If I was born of you, then why so cold-hearted?"

"A trueborn Henson daughter and an adopted daughter serving one husband, and me as the concubine at that. Aren't you afraid Father will come to you in your dreams?"

"Hold your tongue!"

Her frame swayed hard, and her hand flew up again, only to stop in midair when she saw the stubbornness in my eyes.

"What right do you have to speak of your father?"

"If it weren't for searching for you, he'd never have caught that plague and died on the road!"

My heart felt run through by a thousand arrows, the pain stealing my breath, and in the end the tears fell.

"Father searched for me because he loved me, because he missed me."

"And you, Mother?"

"You hate me this much, and you've already found a new daughter to replace me. So why did you take me back at all?"

My insides felt torn to shreds, cold sweat soaking through my underclothes.

I drew a deep breath, wanting to ask, before I died, every doubt I had buried in my heart.

Winifred rushed over and knelt at my feet, pleading bitterly.

"Sister, I beg you, don't speak to Mother this way."

"You're her daughter. How could she not love you?"

"I'm willing to leave the Henson residence, to sever all ties with Mother and Valentine, to break off the betrothal with Clive. Just please stop wounding Mother's heart!"

Then her body convulsed all at once, and she crumpled limply to the ground.

"Winnie!"

Clive swept her up into his arms and glared at me with loathing.

"Are you satisfied now?"

"You knew perfectly well Winnie suffers from fits, and still you had to provoke her!"

"Since you want so badly not to be mine, in a few days I'll come to break the betrothal. Let's see who'll dare want you after that!"

Valentine turned to fetch a physician, while Vanessa gave her orders to the old matron at her side.

"The eldest daughter has no regard for her elders and does nothing but quarrel with her sister!"

"Twenty strokes to the palms. Kneel in the ancestral hall three days, no food!"

Winter, who had been hiding behind the rockery all this time, dashed out and put herself in front of me, shaking her head, her voice breaking.

"My lady, you mustn't!"

"The young mistress is frail. This will take her life!"

"Frail?"

Vanessa gave a cold laugh.

"You're just like your mistress, lying comes as easy as breathing to you both!"

"A moment ago she had breath enough to stand there and defy me. Now a trifling little punishment will take her life?"

Her gaze settled on Winter.

"In that case, how about I take your life first?"

Winter's teeth chattered, but she did not move an inch.

I gripped her hand, smiled, and shook my head at her.

Then I looked at my mother.

"I accept the punishment."

"There's no need to waste any more of your time on me."

Inside the ancestral hall.

The candle flames wavered, the cushion had been taken away, and I knelt on the cold ground, shaking all over.

The bamboo strips they'd struck my palms with were furred with tiny splinters that drove into the flesh, the pain beyond bearing.

On the second night my fever spiked, my whole body burning.

I curled into the corner and held myself tight.

In my daze I saw my mother, my father, and my brother.

Vanessa sat beneath the crabapple tree, head bent, mending my doll with careful stitches, her face gentle, glancing up now and then to tell me to slow down.

The scene shifted. Father sent a kite up into the clouds while my brother took my hand and led me slowly forward.

Then thick smoke and a wave of heat rushed at my face, and the altar table collapsed.

Beyond the door people surged and cried out in alarm.

"Someone, come! The ancestral hall's on fire!"

I leaned against the wall, closed my eyes, and waited quietly for the flames to reach me.