She Was His First Love, I Was Just the Stand-In

Noreen is so understanding.

Understanding? So being "understanding" meant I had to let the woman who destroyed my last relationship come watch my wedding.

He held me as we fell asleep, same as every night. But sleep wouldn't come.

At some point in the dead of night, the warmth behind me vanished.

Mark had slipped out of the room.

I followed. He was on the balcony, smoking, one cigarette after another.

A dull ache twisted through my chest. Even his silhouette carried a sadness that wouldn't dissolve.

He'd quit smoking after we got together because I hated the smell. But Effie Simmons had broken that promise too.

I pulled my gaze away and crept into the study.

The drawer beside his desk was unlocked tonight. Buried at the very bottom was a journal.

My breath caught. My hands shook as I opened it.

The inside cover was filled with Effie Simmons's name, written over and over. Photographs of her were tucked between the pages.

I turned through them. Page after page of dense, cramped handwriting, pouring out his love for her.

If what Mark gave me was gentle warmth, what he felt for Effie was a blaze. Scalding and all-consuming.

Love and the absence of it were both so painfully obvious.

No wonder he never let me clean this room.

Noreen, don't worry about the study. I'm afraid you'll reorganize something and I won't be able to find my files.

It was never about the files. It was about keeping his feelings hidden from me.

Tears slid down my face. My heart felt like it was being carved open.

My phone screen lit up. A message from Landon.

【Noreen, the earliest flight is a week from now. I already booked it. I'll be here waiting for you.】

I stared at the screen and wiped the cold tears from my cheeks.

On the day of the wedding, I would vanish from Mark's life for good.

Seeing Effie Simmons again left me slightly dazed.

The four of us had attended the same university. Jesse and Effie were the golden couple everyone envied back then.

But it didn't last. Effie transferred abroad and broke things off with Jesse, and he and I gradually grew closer.

What I never expected was that Jesse had never forgotten her. And neither had Mark, the boy I'd known for thirteen years.

……Noreen.

Effie looked at me with guilt pooling in her eyes, her voice catching.

"Noreen, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd agree to see me."

She and I had been friends in college. I never imagined things would end up here.

As she walked over, her heel caught on something and she stumbled. Mark, right beside her, caught her arm before I could blink.

"Careful!"

Their eyes locked. Mark pulled his hand away fast, but not fast enough to hide what I saw in his gaze.

I forced a smile and took the gift she held out.

"It's fine. That's all in the past."

"Come sit down, let's figure out what to order."

Mark sat beside me, but his eyes kept drifting to her, glance after quiet glance.

"I'll eat anything. You all decide."

Effie handed the menu to Mark. He ordered without hesitation.

"We'll have the tea-smoked shrimp, the bisque, the pan-seared sea bass……"

Mark stopped.

Every dish he'd ordered was one of Effie's favorites. And I couldn't stand the smell of seafood. I didn't eat any of it.

I looked at him. A sharp, sudden pain split through my chest.

"Noreen, I……"

I shot to my feet, nearly knocking my chair back, and all but fled the table.

"I need the restroom. Go ahead and order."

I stood in front of the mirror, gasping for air in ragged gulps.

I'd told myself I was ready for this. That I'd braced for it. But watching him rattle off her favorite dishes without a second thought still tore me apart.