She stood on the back of time

Joshua’s friend John spotted Ellie and tried to act casual, though his ears flushed crimson. “You’re… sure about this? I’m heading south. Coming back won’t be easy. Are you really all right with leaving Joshua?”

Ellie gave a firm nod.

“All right. I’ll get the train tickets and come for you.”

For a moment, Ellie said nothing. Her eyes filled; all she could muster was a choked “Mhm.”

It was past midnight, the world outside pitch black, when Joshua finally returned.

He yanked the light cord with a sharp *click*. In the sudden glare, he found Ellie sitting in the room and startled. “Why are you sitting here in the dark? Have you eaten?”

Blinking sore eyes, her voice came out hoarse—answering a question he hadn’t asked. “I’m not going to marry you. You don’t owe me anything. Just go back to the city.”

Joshua glanced up, dismissing it as nonsense. He didn’t take it seriously.

“I’ve already broken it off with Diane… completely. So stop this foolishness. I’ve spoken to your father. We’ll be married within the week. The marriage application—”

Before he could finish, Ellie lunged at him, her voice tearing into a scream. “You’re always like this! You never listen! I said I won’t marry you, and I won’t!”

“Childish tantrums.”

Watching her run off, Joshua remained detached, still convinced she was just acting out. He went ahead with the wedding preparations.

That night, their rooms were close—so close Ellie could hear everything from next door. Joshua’s frantic, desperate self-pleasuring. All night long, he kept calling out.

“Diane… I love you…”

Twelve hours into the night. Three words—*I love you*. Joshua said them one thousand, one hundred, and fourteen times. Each one a knife, twisting deeper.

Suddenly, the memory surfaced—that deranged moment in her past life when she’d stumbled upon the humiliating scene. Joshua, clutching Diane’s daughter’s underwear, restraining himself, finding release alone.

In the dark study, moonlight fell across him from the window.

Every time passion took him, he cried out Diane’s name. Only back then, her daughter’s name was tangled up in it too.

The two names twisted together on his lips—until she pushed the door open.

All his movements froze. He hadn’t finished. He just looked quietly at the madwoman Ellie had become.

A minute later, he started again. Only this time, he carefully placed the little girl’s lacy underwear into the breast pocket over his heart.

Then, through gritted teeth, he called out, “Ellie, did you have an accident again? Hold on. I’ll take care of it.”

Joshua stood up, ignoring his own obvious arousal, and walked step by step toward her.

He looked the same, just more refined, more scholarly than in his youth.

His very calmness made her madness seem all the more grotesque.

She shoved away the Joshua coming to change her diaper and stumbled, step by crazed step, toward the deep sea…

Ellie jolted awake, realizing she’d dreamed of her past life again. The dream was over, but her pillow was damp.

She rose silently, wiped her tears, and moved through her morning routine with numb, mechanical detachment.

Just then, Joshua emerged from the washroom, his hair damp.

Seeing Ellie, he instinctively shifted the hamper of dirty clothes behind his back.

“Ellie, you’re up so early. Are you feeling unwell?”

He reached out habitually to feel her forehead, just as he had when she was sick as a child.

This time, Ellie turned her head away, avoiding his touch.

Joshua frowned. “What’s the matter with you now?”

In that moment, Ellie desperately wanted to tell him. She was going to marry someone else soon. She was going south. She was never coming back.

He… wouldn’t have to break it off with Diane out of some misplaced sense of responsibility.

“Joshua, I—”

But the words died in her throat as someone came sprinting up, gasping for air.

“Joshua! It’s bad news! Diane’s boat leaving the island—it had an accident! She fell into the sea! Go, quick, you have to save her!”