She Burned the World to Bring Him Back

The routine stayed the same. Days at work, nights with me.

What changed was where she spent her days. Before, she'd actually been going to work. Now she was with Kenneth.

His social media had been busy the past few days. New posts kept appearing. Summer handing him a water bottle courtside while he practiced. Summer and Kenneth at an amusement park. The two of them checking in at a couples' restaurant, heads tilted together.

In every photo, Summer's lips curved into that familiar smile, the one that brought out her dimples.

I stared at those photos for a long time. I couldn't remember the last time she'd smiled at me like that.

The night before my birthday, Summer came home late.

She'd had too much to drink. Kenneth brought her back.

The bedroom door was open, so I could see everything in the living room.

I watched Kenneth ease her coat off her shoulders. He wrung out a warm towel and wiped her face, careful, gentle.

Summer kept mumbling the whole time. "Nobody better mess with my Kenneth. I can drink for him. I can take all of it."

Kenneth laughed softly. "Alright, alright. All of Kenneth's drinks are yours. Kenneth's yours too."

She murmured something back, too slurred to make out.

It must have been something sweet, because Kenneth's smile widened.

After he'd gotten her settled on the couch, Kenneth walked into my room.

He saw I was awake and froze for a second. Then he glanced back at Summer on the sofa, and understanding flickered across his face. He knew I'd seen everything.

"Patrick, don't get the wrong idea. I've got a game tomorrow. You know how the guys on the team are. They always throw these hype-up parties the night before a match. Summer was worried I'd be off my game tomorrow, so she took my drinks for me."

Kenneth and I had grown up together. Brothers since childhood.

We learned basketball together, made the state team together, got signed to the same club. I knew exactly which game he was talking about. The state championship. A good finish there meant a shot at the national team. If you were lucky, one of the top international clubs might come calling.

If it hadn't been for the accident three years ago, I would have been standing on that court tomorrow too.

Kenneth didn't seem to realize he'd just twisted the knife.

He switched off the light and lay down on the cot beside my bed, the one Summer usually slept on.

"Patrick, Summer drank too much tonight, so let me take care of you. If you need anything, just call."

I gave a quiet "mm."

I thought the night would end there. Then Kenneth spoke again.

"Patrick. Have you ever thought about dying?"

My breath caught.

He kept going. "You already know, right? Summer was supposed to be with me. If she were with me, everything in her life would fall into place. She'd succeed at whatever she tried. She wouldn't have to live like this."

"Do you even know what she does at the construction site? She's a deep-water salvage diver."

My heart dropped.

Deep-water salvage. One of the most dangerous jobs on earth. You descended into flooded shafts to retrieve broken drill bits, except the shafts weren't filled with water. They were filled with mud. The only thing keeping you alive was a single oxygen line.

One slip. One person above you with bad intentions. And you never came back up.

Summer. Doing that.

When I didn't respond, Kenneth's voice hardened.

"Patrick, listen to me. Summer told me she loves me. But because of you, she can't be with me. So can you just do the right thing and die? Stop dragging her down."

The System had said the same thing to me once before.

Even hearing it a second time, the pain tore through me all over again.

I knew how exhausted Summer was, taking care of me.

I knew she'd be better off without me.

Most of all, I knew she didn't love me anymore.

So when Kenneth said he could get me sleeping pills, I nodded through my tears.