Seven Years, Then I Walked Away

"Lottie Fox!" Roderick's warning came from behind me.

I didn't turn around. I went straight back to my desk.

For the next few days I was busy handing off my work, and Roderick and I barely spoke.

The day I left.

Once my things were packed, I didn't say goodbye. I just carried the box into the elevator and rode down.

At the front entrance I ran into Roderick and Bernice coming back from a client meeting. I stepped around them.

He caught up, his face cold.

"What's this cold war you've been pulling the last few days? Who set you off now?"

I kept my voice flat. "I'm just clearing the space for you and Secretary Swanson."

"Don't get snide with me." His brow creased. "You threw out her bubble tea last time, and she was upset about it for days. You still owe her an apology."

Bernice tugged at his sleeve, her voice low. "It's fine. Lottie's leaving anyway. Let's not fall out over something so small."

"And you'll buy me more bubble tea from now on, won't you?"

She looked up at him, eyes curved in a smile.

"Of course." His voice softened, and the look he turned on me was openly reproachful. "Bernice is being this generous. Don't you feel ashamed?

"You should learn from her, how she keeps the bigger picture in mind, instead of pouring all your energy into jealousy."

Silence spread.

Bernice spoke up. "Roderick, let's see Lottie off."

He gave a slight nod, his eyes carrying a trace of condescending tolerance. "All right. I'll call you a car."

I shook my head to say there was no need, and his phone rang.

"I have to take a client call." He answered and walked off into the distance.

Bernice watched his back and let out a soft laugh. "I've had my eye on that custom desk of yours. Roderick said I could have it. You don't mind, do you?"

I gave her a light glance. "It's my leftovers. If you want it, take it."

Her smile froze for an instant. Then she stepped closer and lowered her voice.

"That silk nightgown, that's your leftovers too, isn't it? But I don't mind. The night I wore it, Roderick even complimented me. He said it looked better on me than on you."

She paused, almost pressing her lips to my ear.

"Tell me, if I keep picking up your castoffs, do you think I'll pick up the man too?"

The moment those words left her mouth, I raised my hand and slapped her.

"Scavenging is one thing, but you had to rub it in my face. Were you afraid I wouldn't teach you a lesson?"

Bernice glanced past my shoulder and said nothing.

She only let herself drop to the ground with the force of it, hand over her cheek, tears spilling down.

"What are you doing?" Roderick hung up, saw the scene, and roared at me.

He shoved me aside and rushed to Bernice.

I fell to the floor.

The box tipped over, and the glass cup shattered.

My palm came down on the shards, blood streaming.

He didn't notice at all. He was only checking on her, all concern.

When he saw the red mark on her face, his expression changed. "What happened?"

She sobbed quietly. "I only brought up the thing about the desk…"

He turned and looked down at me, his face cold. "That desk was something you didn't want anyway. What's wrong with giving it to her?"

"You know how much I hate bullying, and you still use your higher rank to push her around at every turn." His eyes were full of disappointment. "Lottie Fox, you really disgust me."

He helped her up and turned away. "Get yourself home. Once you're there, take a good look at yourself, and tomorrow at the wedding I want to hear you apologize."

I watched him walk off with his arm around her, then looked down at the blood in my palm, pulled out a tissue, and wiped it clean.

It didn't hurt. Really, it didn't hurt anymore.

Back home, I packed until deep into the night. Outside the window, fireworks cracked open.

My phone buzzed. A message from Roderick.

【Not coming home tonight. Bernice is in a bad mood, so I'm setting off fireworks up on the hilltop to cheer her up.】

I didn't answer. I slept without dreaming.

The next morning I dragged my suitcase straight to the airport.

When I got there, Roderick messaged again.

"Send me the wedding venue address. I'm bringing Bernice over now. Have you figured out what you're going to say when you apologize?"

I replied: 【Roderick, let's break up.】

Then I switched on airplane mode and boarded.

Looking out at the clouds beyond the window, I drew a deep breath.

My heart felt light, as if seven years of joy and grief had all been buried down there in that city beneath my feet.