Seven Years, and I Was Always the Third Wheel

The light was draining out of the sky,and the wind moved through the trees,leaves hissing all around me.

At some point,it had started to rain.

I hadn't brought an umbrella,and my phone signal kept cutting in and out.

My ankle had swollen badly.I tried to stand.

The moment I put weight on it,the pain whited out my vision.

So I sat back down,wrapped my arms around myself,and waited in the rain that grew colder by the minute.

My clothes were soaked through,the cramping in my belly and the ache in my ankle tangling together until I could barely breathe.

I checked my phone,over and over.

No messages.No calls.

It was as though Valentine had forgotten me completely.

The dark thickened bit by bit,the hikers thinned out,and in the end even the last of the voices faded away.

Sitting there on the freezing bench,I suddenly found it almost funny.

That I was still waiting.

Waiting for the person who'd left me on the mountain and carried someone else down.

Not until the sky had gone fully black did my phone finally ring.

It was Valentine.

I answered,and before I could say a word,his blame came crashing down the line.

"Meryl,why aren't you down yet?"

"Why do you have to make everything so hard?"

"Ellie hurt her knee.I was busy getting her cleaned up.Couldn't you just be a little more reasonable?"

Rainwater ran down my face.

I couldn't tell anymore what was rain and what wasn't.

I gripped the phone,listening to how righteous he sounded,and whatever warmth I had left went out under that rain.

So he wasn't worried about me.

He was only blaming me for not being reasonable.

Blaming me for not walking obediently down the mountain by myself,for not going on being the one who never got angry,the one who could always be left behind.

The pain just stopped.

Or maybe it had reached its limit and gone numb.

I let out a soft laugh,my voice so low the rain nearly swallowed it.

"Valentine."

The line went quiet for a beat.

I closed my eyes and said,calmly,

"I understand."

This time,I really was done.

Later,it was a park staffer who found me.

By the time they brought me down,Valentine and Ellie were already gone.

I sat in the first-aid room and watched the doctor tend to my red,swollen ankle.

The instant the ice pack touched it,the pain set my fingertips trembling,but not a single tear fell.

A message from Valentine popped up on my phone.

He asked if I was still angry.

He said he'd only been too anxious in the moment.

He said Ellie had gotten hurt too,after all,and I shouldn't take it so much to heart.

I stared at those few lines for a long time,then turned off the screen.

So it turned out some relationships don't go bad all at once.

They're overlooked a little at a time,given up on again and again.

And then,in some perfectly ordinary moment,they die for good.