Second Chance with My First Love

My words were constrained.

As much as I wanted to let out the suffocating emotions building inside me, I could not explain myself to Adam. I could not tell him the whole truth, for I knew it wouldn't do him any good.

"You should leave now!" I said as I pushed him out of the house, afraid that if he stayed longer, I wouldn't be able to control my mouth from saying things I shouldn't talk about.

And so, I lowered my head, avoiding his intense stare. Then, with both hands, I pushed him out of the door, but it did not stop him from holding my chin and forcing me to look at him.

"Sophia!"

Slowly, he wiped the tears that I didn't know fell from my eyes. With that, I felt his delicate hands against my skin. Surrealist then hit me as I never knew I would receive such a genuine gesture from him again.

"Sophia, as long as you tell me that you still want to be with me, I'll deal with everything," he said in a low voice and soft expression. I had never seen him react that way, so I could not figure out if he was genuine or not.

Be with him?

I scoffed at the thought and looked at his hands that were holding my chin and touching my lips. Before he could do anything further to me, I pushed him away again.

After a brief moment of shock, Adam laughed as though he had lost everything at once and walked away helplessly without looking back at me.

The moment he turned away, I felt a pang in my chest. I felt as though my soul went along with him when he left. My tears cascaded, and I could not control them, so the only thing I did was cover my mouth, wishing no one would hear me.

Then, I went to my mother's house with my mind floating. My heart seemed so tight, and I was catching my breath to calm myself. I went home, thinking my mother was the only person I could run to at times like this, for she was the only person I believed could console me. But, unlucky me, fate seemed not on my side recently.

The door was slightly open when I got to my mother's house. I purposefully slowed down and entered after feeling a surge of wariness.

With the small gap in the door, I saw my mother beside my brother and heard their conversation.

"What should we do now that your sister finds out?"

"Mom, don't worry! What can that loser do?" My brother said, laughing, and added, "I can't wait for her to divorce my brother-in-law so we can be together in the future!"

"But you sister…"

Their words were enough for my ears to suddenly shut, along with my mind. My whole body trembled like it was burning; I felt like I was being killed, being stabbed multiple times by a sharp knife. And the worst part was that my family was the person behind every inch of pain in my system.

Hearing my mother's response, I figured she already knew about Eric and Bob, and I was the only one kept in the darkness for a long time.

My mind could not function very well anymore. I just found myself almost leaving the house, but the squeaking sound of the door reached my brother's ears.

"Hey, what's that? Someone's outside?"

Finally, hearing him again made my feet glued to the floor. Before I could leave, Eric grabbed my arms to make me face him.

The disdain in his eyes greeted me. "How can you be so shameless?" He shouted, which I could not utterly believe. How could he be the one to shout out at me and look at me as if I was the one who committed a crime?

My mother, unfortunately, had only seen that portion of the argument when I was unaware that my palms had already landed on my brother's face.

"Why did you slap your brother!?" My mother shouted angrily, slapped me in the face, and consoled my brother. She dared not to look at me, ask what happened, or acknowledge my presence. Instead, she concernedly looked at Eric and worriedly held his face.

Shocked than I cared to admit, I couldn't take my eyes off the two people I thought would be by my side during the hard times.

Soon after the blow I received, my vision of them slowly turned blurry as my tears continuously streamed down. I thought I would find comfort going here, but I only found more chaos.

Now, I realized that everyone seemed to be making fun of me, laughing at me as if I was a clown made for entertainment – for their satisfaction.

From crying, I laughed hysterically upon realizing my position in everyone's life. I laughed without hesitation, like a madman.

"Sophia! Why did you hit your brother?! He didn't do anything, and here you are acting violently. Now, look, the corners of his mouth are bleeding! Why can't you be a sister to him?"

A smirk rose on my lips. "Then, what about me?" I asked with bitterness, my lips upward but my eyes in sadness.

But then, my mother did not respond to that. Instead, she said, "Shut up! You should know how to lend your ears if you want people to listen to you."