Savage Hearts

Alistair

I miss her...

In my silence, I can only admit that to myself and not to everyone who demands a lot from me.

I can still remember her scent; she wore jasmine and amber, and even her hair oil was a mix of coconut, vanilla, and myrrh.

It's been years since I last saw her, all in pain, and yet I could do nothing but inflict more on her.

Did she ever forgive me? Because I never did myself. I will never forget how cruel I was to her.

My fingers trembled on the black opal ring I wanted to give her; I wanted to tell her that she is the only one I would always love. I will never forgive myself.

"My lord Alistair," Sahel burst into the office without seeking my permission. He'd brought news, and not very good news, given the scroll in his hand.

"Did something happen?" I asked, pulling one of my drawers and placing the Fyre ring in it.

"It's the Goddess of Nature; she has asked when the wedding will take place." She doesn't seem pleased that it has been postponed more than it should've," Sahel reported.

"I decide when I marry; I will not be rushed," I snapped.

"Four hundred human years, Alistair... You have in no way been rushed; you are only wasting time." The Goddess of Water, Isola, appeared in my office. My mother. "If for anything that poor child has been kept waiting for you, that shouldn't be so. Leave us, Sahel."

She waited until Sahel had left before continuing.

"Don't tell me you are still thinking about that cursed girl. You know how dangerous she was going to be in the coming if you hadn't been done with her... Stop blaming yourself for trapping her; you did it for your people," Mother said softly as she pressed my shoulder.

I shrug off her hands. "Ronan's people, and he is not here to look over them. I had to take over responsibility and stand in his place."

"Don't speak about that degenerate here, who abandoned his own people to go live with that human girl... I don't wish for you to remind me of him. Stop it!" she shouted.

"I'm sorry, but Ronan is still very much the rightful ruler of the land; it's never going to change," I replied calmly.

Brother, leaving this place was the sole reason I had to step in, and by so doing, I hurt the one person that has brought me happiness.

I was never going to be happy if duty was involved.

"Stop calling his name, Alistair!" she roared, her voice thundering, making the room shake. "Do you know the amount of shame for a god like him to reduce himself to the level of a mere mortal? Do you know the humiliation he brought to our family? The damage he has caused to our lineage?" Mother continued. I know she hates that she had to send Ronan down to restore order on earth, only for him to fall in love with a human.

It was four hundred human years ago; he was only to stay for a few years, but as things worsened on earth, he stayed longer, which was why he wasn't present when I had to betray Fyre.

One of my worst regrets.

Now, when it was time for him to return ten human years ago, he never did and was said to have fallen in love and would rather choose that over his family and people.

Mother had been devastated; she made humans suffer with endless rain, but they saw it as abundance. It was only later that she stopped hoping for his return.

Those years I worked tirelessly to fill his shoes; it was the only way I could wait out marrying Liora, Fyre's stepsister.

Mother exhaled and said, "Every time I get angry like this, there are people who suffer for my anger... You are this family's only hope." She held my face. "Please marry that girl so I won't have to get nature disturbing me. I'm going to have an ice bath."

She swept gracefully away from the room.

As soon as she left, Sahel returned, dropping the red file he had in his hand.

"What is this for?" I took it up from the table.

"It's the report of Lady Fyre," Sahel explained.

My face lit up; the last I had heard, she was a clerk working in a hotel. Hotels were like places where guests are received. That was what I understood from it, so it was not unsafe.

"It is like the color has drained from your face. Should I be worried, Sahel?" I tore open the file to read out the report.

"She is married, with two children, and is believed to be doing well..." Sahel said, his voice utterly low.

"You should've allowed me to read." The paper crumpled in my hands, and I allowed it to fall off. "Leave me."

"My lord Alistair,"

"Sahel, leave me!"

Lightning ripped through the sky, and thunder cracked the heavens, searing the world apart. I could feel myself having no absolute control of who I was becoming. I pulled out the drawer and took out the Fyre ring that I never got to give her, closed my eyes, and tried to imagine what we could've been.