Since I Have No More Tears to Shed, I Will Rest in the Sea of Blossoms

The day I was diagnosed with cancer, I decided to plan a spontaneous trip for myself.

I had wanted to avoid everyone, but I never expected to bump into my ex-wife the moment I stepped off the bus.

Ten years had passed and neither of us was the same as before.

She had washed away the tattoo I'd drawn on her and was now dressed in designer clothes. I, on the other hand, had taken off my wedding ring and was now wearing a urinary catheter.

We exchanged a few polite greetings, both of us tactfully avoiding any mention of the past.

As we were about to part, Yvonne Grant suddenly spoke. "Nic, do you still hate me?"

I gently shook my head and replied frankly, "I stopped hating you a long time ago."

I simply didn't have the energy or the time for hatred anymore. In the last moments of my life, I just wanted to see the Cosmos flowers blooming across the grasslands.

——

Winter arrived early in this region and the August wind already carried a biting chill.

Our car hadn't arrived yet and Yvonne glanced down at me before silently unwrapping her scarf and draping it over my shoulders.

The scent of perfume mixed with cigarette smoke washed over me. It was Harvey Scott's signature scent.

I sneezed, politely declining Yvonne's offer. "No need to be so polite, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke."

Yvonne seemed a little surprised. "Isn't your favorite … "

She trailed off, stunned for a moment and took the scarf back without another word. Instead, she just quietly tilted her umbrella slightly more in my direction.

We're long past the age of recklessly getting soaked in the rain together and we've also lost the right to share an umbrella.

I didn't want to linger with Yvonne any longer, so before she could speak again, I quickly ducked into the taxi waiting nearby.

The taxi driver, who had been watching us while cracking sunflower seeds, joked with a laugh, "Hey, mate, looks like someone's trying to flirt with you! She's a pretty one, aren't you going to consider it? She's been looking back at you ever since she left the station until you got into the car."

I took two pills from my bag and shoved them into my mouth, answering somewhat indistinctly, "No, I'm not considering it. That woman is my ex-wife. We divorced ten years ago."

The driver was taken aback, scratched his head in embarrassment and deliberately changed the subject. "Oh, I see. Hey, buddy, you're here to see the Cosmos flowers too, right? It's a shame you didn't come a bit earlier. They're almost all gone."

I turned my head to look out the window. The dripping rain blurred Yvonne's retreating figure and I couldn't see the road ahead clearly.

I took a sip of water, suppressing the bitterness in my mouth and said softly, "I had originally planned to come earlier."

"But my mom passed away in June and I was the only one left to handle things. So, I couldn't get away. In July, I had to undergo chemotherapy, which is why I couldn't find the time. I kept putting it off and now, here I am."

After hearing my explanation, the driver fell completely silent. He stammered for a while and finally just quietly paused the meter in front of him.

Seeing this, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "No need to be so polite, Bro. Life and death are a matter of fate. I've long accepted that. The road is still long anyway, let's chat."

Ever since I got sick, everyone looks at me with pity. They felt sorry that someone my age got struck with this disease and that I have no one by my side to care for me.

Actually, I didn't really care anymore.

I figured it out when Yvonne and I got divorced that year, that life was just like this. Whether it's good or bad, you have to live it. You didn't get to choose.

The driver gave a forced smile and nodded awkwardly. After much hesitation, he cautiously asked, "Well ... young man, why did you and your ex-wife get divorced?"