Regret After Losing Love

At lunch, my assistant, Rachel Thomas, called me excitedly, "Nora, I've got great news for you!"

Seeing her so flustered, I asked, "Rachel, what’s the matter?" 

“There is a novel being adapted into a web series and I sent your headshots and info to the investors and director. They want you to audition next Saturday!” Rachel explained with excitement.

My heart skipped a beat. An audition? It had been so long since I last auditioned. That’s right, I was a small sporting actor, not even in the ranks of D-listers. When I first graduated, I had big dreams of becoming a star. However, reality and dreams were worlds apart, separated not only by timing and luck but also by hard work and perseverance.

Ever since I started falling in love with Bart, my entire heart had been consumed by him and as a result, my already struggling career took a nosedive. I took a sip of water, my excitement bubbling up. “Rachel, thank you so much for getting me this opportunity. Next Saturday, right? I’ll definitely be there on time. I’ll need your help with some of the preparation work.”

“No problem, Nora! You’re finally getting back on your feet! Do you know that the director even complimented you after seeing your profile? He said you really fit the character. You have to seize this rare opportunity!” Rachel encouraged,

With fire in my eyes, I said, "I promise I'll do my best!"

I had finally realized what truly mattered to me and I would never let it go and hold on to everything I got.

As for everything else, I would not care any longer.

There was a week left before the audition. I should have been resting after my surgery, but opportunities wait for no one.

I deleted all the food delivery apps on my phone and started eating salads and drinking coffee. By doing so I was hoping to reduce the swelling in a week. At night, I studied the script until late. Although it was just a supporting role, I analyzed every line carefully. The story was a Western drama and I was playing the male lead’s confidante, Mary Smith, whom he met when he had just tasted what love was. Though she was trapped in a life of hardship, she had a strong sense of patriotism. At a critical moment during the war, she decisively severed her romantic ties with the male lead. Though the role was small, for someone like me, this was a golden opportunity.

The script demanded a lot of discipline and sets of emotions from the actor, so I moved from home to the studio to make the most of this week.

One day, as I was eating a salad, Bart called me, "Nora, do you want to eat Japanese food together tonight? I’ve been trying to reach you, but you haven’t answered.”

His tone carried a hint of accusation. If this had been before, I would have scrambled to explain myself, eager to please and accepted his invitation. Yet now, all I wanted to do was to focus on the audition.

"I need to get rid of some water weight, so eating Japanese food is not an ideal food right now," I said calmly.

“When will you be done? I’ll pick you up when you’re free," Bart asked.

I said coldly, "Don't bother. I plan to do some work out tonight."

"Nora, stop sulking! I know you're still angry but enough is enough. How many years have you been out of school? You’re lucky if you occasionally land a bit part. Why can’t you be more realistic like Karen and get a stable job? Do you still naively believe you’ll become a big star?” he asked.

“I’m not sulking. I just want to focus on my work.” I calmly hung up the phone after that.

At this crucial moment, I didn’t want to waste a single second on Bart. It was not the right time to break up with him yet. I couldn’t let him affect my emotions.

However, I would never expect that later that night Bart drove to my studio and waited downstairs.