Playground 51 - The Wildest Magic School on Earth
Chapter 3
The protesters are getting closer and louder.
PROTESTORS
Hell no, witches GO! Hell no, witches GO!
Their signs bobbed like angry confetti in the air. Adam Kirage, still perched inside his mech suit like a theologian in a tank, raises his microphone.
ADAM
And it's only right we purge the land in the name of SCIENCE... uh... I mean, THE HOLY GOD! Just look at these four! Sodom and Gomorrah, that's all I'm saying! And this is what all your children will look like if you let this ABOMINATION of magic school get built. They will all be broke-looking and stupid!
Chris snorts, and Seth rubs his eyes, exhausted.
SETH
God, just shut up, please, Adam!
Two girls suddenly run out onto the field dressed in the female version of Absolution Academy's uniform. They stand in front of the boys, their arms outstretched protectively, as if to block the males from harm.
The first girl has brown skin and facial features like Eddie's, but her hair is a thick cascade of brown and gold curls. This is PORTIA BON MOON.
PORTIA
You guys had better back up! I'm not going to let you hurt my future husband or my brother!
The other girl has neon pink hair and a few scene girl star stickers on her face. This is CIRCE BYNUM,
CIRCE
YEAH! I'm not going to let you hurt my husband, who is also my brother!
Seth twists his face.
SETH
EW! What?!
Circe turns to him.
CIRCE
Not you, idiot! I mean, our foster brother.
She blows a kiss to Richard.
RICHARD
(Grimaces)
That's still, EW!
EDDIE
And who the hell is your future husband, Portia? You better not be talking about this guy (points at Chris) who thinks the Chinese made the sun!
Portia looks over her shoulder at Chris.
PORTIA
Darling, I told you not to tell anyone about your quirky little sun theory!
Chris folds his arms and doubles down.
CHRIS
I am a man! And I say what I want to say!
ADAM (V.O.)
(Booming from the mecha)
See? Now they have cute little girls fighting for them. Women always have to fight liberals battles!
SETH
You guys are making things worse! Go join Professor Diaz, where it's safe.
CIRCE
But we want to help!
CHRIS
This is a man's job! You two skirts need to beat it!
ADAM
Yeah! Back in the kitchen, both of you!
The girls hesitate as if ignoring all the boys. Then a turkey burger hits Portia in the face.
PORTIA
HEY!
Circe gets smacked with a fully cooked hot dog.
CIRCE
They're throwing food at us?!
CHRIS
AWWW YEAH!!!
He spins the scepter with martial arts skill as he approaches the protestors.
CHRIS
BACK IT UP! BACK IT UP!
More food gets flung around, nearly hitting the boys.
CHRIS
Seth, hurry up and do something! The Sweet blood of Jesus got 'em ready to jack us up!
SETH
Right!
SETH
(Turns to the others)
You two girls, beat it! Michael Jackson style!
He does a spin and a Michael Jackson move for emphasis. Portia rolls her eyes, unimpressed, and Circe picks up the hot dog off the floor and starts eating it, as if using it to help her cope. They both finally walk away, heading to join Professor Diaz.
SETH
You three should go talk to the media and keep them busy. I am the strongest wizard here out of the four of us, and I can handle some angry protestors alone.
CHRIS
Are you crazy? If I'm not here, these people are going to crucify you!
RICHARD
(Groans)
WHAT? Not the media! Please?
EDDIE
Jigoku Kesshite!
(Subtitles: Hell-to-the-NO!)
SETH
Don't Jiggy-jew kiss-whatever me, Eddie! You, Chris, and Richard are charming; you can sell us to the media. And let's be honest, none of you are good at magic.
CHRIS
Hey! I can do this stupid magic shit as well as you can!
He pulls out another cigarette and places it between his lips. Raising his index finger, he rubs it repeatedly against the skin of his thumb until a small flame flickers to life at its tip. He leans in, using it to light his cigarette.
CHRIS
(all proud of himself)
Viola!
SETH
(Ponders him)
EDDIE
Seth, there's no way you should send me to talk to the media. Did you not notice I'm black? If you put my face in the media to represent Absolution Academy, they'll say the school got roaches and that we barbecue at lunch every day!
Chris laughs around his cigarette. Seth twists his lips, surprised by the comment.
EDDIE
If I'm the face of the school, no one rich will send their children here.
RICHARD
That's not true, Eddie! Most people are not that racist! And what's wrong with barbecue at school every day?
Whispers to himself, mystified by the concept.
RICHARD
That shit sounds turnt!
Seth gets slammed in the face with some flying spare ribs.
SETH
OW!
EDDIE
I need to be part of this attack! I know a way to get the Christians good without hurting anyone, I swear! My parents were Christians. I understand these guys.
Richard fumbles, searching for a reason to stay, but the only thing he can think of is, "The media is going to ask me questions I don’t want to answer."
Seth wipes some BBQ sauce off his face and licks his fingers.
SETH
Fine! Chris and Eddie stay. Rich, you're the actor; you can handle some reporters.
SETH
Come on, let's do this quick! I'm getting hungry.
He bends down, picks up the barbecue rib off the floor, and starts eating as he runs off towards the crowd.
Eddie and Chris shoot him a look of disgust before trailing after him, curious about what kind of home he and Circe were raised in.
Adam, still inside the mech, was ranting.
ADAM
And I want you to remember who helped lead the resistance against this hellspawn magic school! Somnix Corps, your friendly leaders in paranormal technology!
Chris raises the scepter. A long, intense stream of pink lightning shoots out from the pearl bulb atop it.
Seth hits a powerful chord on his guitar, making the lightning stream all the more intense. The lightning crackles loudly and strikes the mech's leg.
BOOM!!!
The machine tilts as fire grows from the wound. It lets loose a mechanical groan, then collapses.
The protestors scatter. Adam screams as an airbag inflates inside the crashing cockpit, saving him from serious injury.
Chris and Eddie fist-bumped. Seth chuckles.
EDDIE
Nice work, Chris!
They smile at each other.
EDDIE
If you touch my sister, I will end your life...
Chris gulps, looking as if he takes that threat seriously.
Meanwhile, Adam curses and raves from inside the wreckage.
Richard, left alone, sighs sadly. The guys always seem to be having fun together...without him. Now, he had to speak to the media all by himself. What a nightmare.
He looks over at the crowd of people apprehensively. Then gets lost for a moment in a memory that he can't quite remember...
SETH
RICH!
Richard snaps out of it and looks at Seth, who twerks his head towards the news people.
SETH
Go get 'em!
Richard rolls his eyes and groans again. But without another word, he starts sloshing over to the news people.
Food continues to fly all over the place as the camera pans to where Richard is heading. The Absolution Academy schoolhouse.
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