Owing My Parents Two Lives

I plucked up my courage and went home.

When I came home, Mary said, "I thought you died outside."

I raised my eyes and said, "I would rather die outside than have a child."

Jack's face darkened, and Mary pointed at me, her voice trembling. "You must give birth to a child. You owe us two lives!"

I felt a little tired and wanted to go back to my room, but Mary grabbed me.

"You ungrateful girl! Back then, if your brother had survived, I wouldn't have given birth to you!

"If you don't have a child, you will be sorry for your dead brother and us!"

I said, "Did I want to be born?"

I was immediately slapped in the face.

Jack looked at me with a look of disappointment.

I felt sad in my heart.

Before he spoke, I apologized to them.

Why did they blame me for everything?

My brother died before I was born, but they put the blame on me.

After my parents got married, they soon had a boy, my brother.

The family was happy.

Unexpectedly, the following year, Mary was pregnant with me.

My parents decided to have an abortion.

They had made an appointment with the hospital.

I shouldn't have lived more than three months in my mother's womb.

But my brother fell seriously ill at this time.

Although my parents took good care of him and prayed for him, he still couldn't survive the winter.

Mary canceled the abortion appointment but gave birth to me.

But I would rather have died in her womb.

I would rather my brother survive so that he could bear this for me.

In that way, I wouldn't have to spend every day in pain.

This was not the first time Jack had hit me.

He often looked at me with indifference.

Since I was young, I had always been afraid of Jack because I would always remember the way he looked at me with indifference.

When Mary punished me, Jack would use all his strength to whip me.

His tall body completely covered me and frightened me.

I was used to that.

Once, when Mary was on a business trip, there was no one to cook for me at home.

Jack could only take me with him to a dinner outside.

At that time, I looked at the people coming and going and Jack's smile.

I pulled his sleeve with my hand, wanting to say something to him.

He never lowered his head to pay attention to me, but I still said it.

I didn't know if he heard my words. "Dad, I always thought you wouldn't smile."

It turned out he just wouldn't smile at me.