Oops, I Accidentally Adopted A Mafia Boss

SASHA ROSARIO'S POINT OF VIEW

Idiot! You're such an idiot, Sasha. Did you really think he would believe that? I wanted the earth to swallow me whole, especially since he didn't say anything, just kept staring at me.

Then, to my utter shock, he smiled, and then kissed me. It was just a peck, so I couldn't react until he spoke, grinning at me.

"Is that so? Then, will you please calm me down here... wife?"

Holy mother of God! Sasha, what have you gotten yourself into now?

What have I gotten myself into?

I held my breath where we stood locked together, heart hammering so hard against my ribs I could feel its shape pressing through my blouse. My hands were planted on his shoulders, fingers curled tight enough I knew they'd leave half-moons in his skin. Heat climbed my cheeks-shame knotted with hunger as his gray eyes held mine fast.

He tilted his head, gaze never breaking. "Hmm? Aren't you going to help me?"

My mouth parted and closed again, no sound rising from my throat. I snapped it shut at last and dragged air into my lungs.

Good heavens above. What am I supposed to do? Why did I tell him I was his wife? What on earth was I thinking?

I wanted to pull at my hair. This man made no sense-he acted as if memory had slipped clean away, yet moved with the ease of someone playing a game he knew by heart. If I'd woken with no past at all, the first thing I'd ask was how I'd landed here.

Instead this stranger-his name still a mystery to me-was asking me to soothe the hard, throbbing length pressing against my belly.

Tears pricked my eyelids. I had no idea what to do.

His hand slid over my hip, warm skin on mine, and I jumped. We still had not looked away, still had not spoken another word until he pushed his lips forward in a soft pout and drew me close, arms wrapping around my waist.

"Please. Help me, wife. I'll ask about what happened later-it hurts everywhere, but nothing hurts as much as the snake between my legs."

My eyes went wide. He meant every word. "I-I-shouldn't we treat your wounds first? We can deal with... that later-"

"I don't want to." He pushed his lower lip out further, looking almost boyish. "Are you really my wife? I can't remember anything, but something tells me I can trust you. Please? It just needs to be calmed down-it won't bite."

My brain felt like molten rock shifting under my skull.

Lord, what do people do in situations like this?

I stared at him, my life flashing in quick slices behind my eyes. I'd always believed lying led only to trouble, that honesty was the only solid ground underfoot. Now I was tangled in the net I'd woven myself.

I forced a smile, already knowing I was about to make another mistake. Here we go again-I don't even know what he expects me to do. This is the first time I've ever seen a man's... well. How am I supposed to calm it down?

I bit my lower lip, thoughts racing even as my hands stayed fixed to his shoulders.

"O-Okay, but wait a second." I giggled softly and eased his arms from me to stand up, then nearly covered my eyes before remembering he was bare from head to toe.

"Where are you going?" he asked, and the urge to scream rose in my throat.

Why does his voice have to sound like that? Deep and rough and warm enough to make my panties damp. How am I supposed to walk away when he looks like that?

My thoughts might run wild, but I'm innocent when it comes to things like this. And besides-I don't want to get pregnant.

Color drained from my face as a picture flickered through my head: me on a narrow bed, screaming as my body strained to push out a child.

"No way!" I blurted, shaking my head so fast my hair whipped around my cheeks. "Who wants to be pregnant? I'm already poor-adding a baby is the last thing I need. I'd rather enjoy being alone while I still can-"

"Are you a kidnapper, miss?"

"YES-what?!" My eyes shot back to his face, finding his brow drawn tight with confusion.

Is this man mad? Wait-how does he speak English and Tagalog so well? Could he be a spy sent by another country to invade the Philippines?

I pointed a finger at him. "You! You're a spy from abroad, aren't you? Are you here to attack us? Let me tell you-there's nothing to steal here. The government already took all our money." My voice came out flat, like I was reading from a schoolbook.

He could be faking amnesia to trick me into helping him. Even if I've dreamed of a foreign husband, I'm loyal to the Philippines.

His brow wrinkled deeper, and I scratched at my head in frustration.

What is wrong with me, Sasha? You've always talked too much, but at least you made sense before. Now you're spouting nonsense.

"I'm not a spy. You said I'm your husband-are you denying me now?" He sounded almost hurt.

My jaw dropped. I couldn't follow how his mind leaped from one thing to the next.

I turned my back on him, muttering under my breath. "This man has a screw loose." I bit my lip, fighting the urge to kick the wall beside me.

Should I take back what I said? I'm such an idiot-why did I tell him I was his wife? Everything has only grown more tangled.

I sighed heavily and faced him again. "I take it back-I'm not your wife. I'm your auntie."

That will work. Just call me Auntie.

His eyes widened in surprise. I bit at my thumb, keeping my gaze on the floorboards under our feet.

Should I explain more? Yes, better make it convincing.

"You see... I'm your auntie, and you've been staying with me because I live alone. You said you were going fishing the other day but didn't come back yesterday. I found you on the beach this morning-you must've hit your head, that's why you can't remember anything." I gasped for air, having talked so fast my chest burned.

Perfect! That sounds totally believable. Go me.

I flinched as he stood up, moving like his wounds were nothing more than scratches.

My eyes widened further as they drifted down to his stiff length.

"Eek! C-Could you cover that... thing up?!" I stammered, holding my hands up as if to shield my eyes-though I couldn't help peeking through my fingers.

I'm just curious. How does it get so big? Good grief-it's almost as thick as my arm.

"Liar," he said firmly, pulling my attention back to his face.

"W-What liar? I'm not lying!" I protested at once.

His forehead was still creased, and I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes-he stood a full head taller than me.

"Then why did you undress me? If you're my auntie, why are you staring at me like that?"

I slapped a hand to my forehead. What kind of answers am I giving? He's making me feel like I'm on trial. Should I just knock him out so he'll go back to sleep?

My head throbbed with every word he spoke. He seemed completely unhinged-more irrational than I was.

"I was going to clean your wounds," I said flatly, letting out another long sigh.

Such is life.

"Then treat me, Auntie."

My ears perked up at that. Wait-he believes me?

I beamed so wide my cheeks ached, like I'd just won the lottery. Finally! We can stop with all this headache-inducing talk.

"Okay, wait-I'll get the first aid kit." I spoke with real cheer, humming as I walked past him and fetched the box from the corner. I set it on the floor, then dragged over my only plastic chair-it wobbled and leaned to one side, but it would have to serve.

"Sit down-uh, what was your name again?" Oh right, he can't remember.

"I don't know. You're my auntie-don't you know?"

I slapped my forehead once more. You're so stupid, Sasha. He has amnesia-of course he can't remember his name.

"U-Um... An... Angelo!" I smiled bright as the sun. Way to go-you're practically an actress now.

"Your name is Angelo."

It fits! He's an angel who fell from heaven and landed in my lap-thank you, God.

"Okay..."

"What? Do you not like it? It's a beautiful name. Famous too-I see it on tombstones all the time when I walk through the cemetery."

His expression darkened, and he looked like he could scarcely believe what he was hearing. I might have imagined it, but he seemed truly annoyed.

Then he smiled, his gaze softening as he looked down at me like a faithful dog.

"Treat me now, Auntie."

"Just sit down already," I ordered-but he only kept staring.

"I don't want to. You sit down."

What? Did his parents not teach him any respect? Ordering his auntie around like this?

I leaned into my role, lifting one eyebrow and settling into the chair with an overdone scowl.

But the moment my body hit the plastic seat, reality settled heavy in my chest.

Why am I the one sitting? I'm not the patient. How am I supposed to treat him if he's standing?

I opened my mouth to say as much, but it was too late-his warm length pressed against my lips.

My eyes flew open as he cupped the back of my head and drew me closer, holding me steady. I could feel every line and curve of him against my face, and my breath caught sharp in my throat.

"H-Hey? Did you plan this? You're playing me for a fool, aren't you?!"

"Stop pretending," he murmured, voice low and rough as stone. "I know you're my wife."

"Blyad', ne mogu skryt', kak ya napryagsya." he added quietly, his accent thick as honey.

What the hell is he saying?! What language is that?!

My heart pounded so hard I thought it would split my chest open. I tried to pull away, but his grip was firm-I could not move an inch.

"Please... suck me, wife."

Angels in heaven, Jesus Christ, and God above-I don't know where I stepped off the path. I only wanted to be good. I entrust my life to you now. I don't understand how things have come this far. Please guide me away from temptation, protect me from this man-because Lord...

I might not be strong enough to resist. My panties are already soaked through.

Amen.