Nothing Owed Deserves Eternity

"Plasma's here. Start the transfusion now!" A male voice cut through the chaos. He was tall, with sharp eyes.

When he glanced at the monitor, shock flashed across his face. "What's going on? Why is this patient's blood pressure so low?"

The heart monitor's line weakened by the second. The doctor's hands went rigid, and panic crept into his voice. "Simon, get over here and help with resuscitation. Dr. Gallagher can finish suturing on his own."

The doctor and Simon moved fast and launched into emergency measures. They drove needles in, applied compression, and barked orders in clipped bursts.

I already knew it was useless. I could not return to my body.

Just as the heart monitor threatened to flatline, a white light ripped through the room and plunged straight into my body. The flat line quivered, then jumped. The monitor began to beep again, steady and alive.

The male doctor let out a hard breath, as if he had held it for minutes. "Vitals are stable. Transfer her to the ICU for observation. Once she wakes up, she should be fine."

Then his gaze hardened.

The resuscitation room shared a wall with the operating theater. Through the glass, Maxwell remained bent over Josephine, stitching with complete focus.

"Make sure she receives clotting factor injections on schedule," the doctor snapped. "She has hemophilia."

His voice rose as anger broke through his professional restraint. "She almost bled to death. You people were reckless beyond belief."

After a long moment, he sighed and instructed the nurse to wheel me out.

My soul drifted alongside my body into the ICU. I stood there and looked at myself on the bed. Something twisted deep inside me.

The person lying there was no longer me.

A short while later, the woman on the bed slowly opened her eyes. She turned her gaze toward me and forced an awkward smile.

"Host," she said softly. "Long time no see."

Sadness flickered through me. In this world, she alone could still perceive my existence.

"NODE, I lost," I said.

The woman on the bed sighed. "The settlement had already been completed. Your mission is still considered finished."

NODE, the Neural Outcome Determination Engine, paused before she continued in a calm, precise tone, "I intervened this time. If you fail to exit this world at the next node and another non-natural death occurs, no one will be able to save you.

"For now, I am temporarily residing in your body to maintain its vital functions. During this period, I will live in your place. When the next node arrives, we can leave."

"I can access your memories and calculate optimal behavior through objective data. But…"

"But what?" I asked.

"I cannot possess human emotions," NODE replied. "I cannot simulate your feelings for Maxwell."

Maxwell came the next day. By then, NODE had already been discharged from the ICU.

When he entered the room, he saw "me" sitting up in bed and carefully eating a bowl of soup. A plain, cheap takeout bag rested nearby.

Guilt flickered across his face.

"Takeout isn't healthy," Maxwell said. He poured soup from a container he had brought. "Have a little of this."

I watched from the side. Maxwell had cooked for once, a rare occurrence.

Then I noticed the carrots floating on the surface of the soup, and cold spread through my chest.

I was allergic to carrots.

The soup had turned lukewarm. It looked like leftovers, likely taken from the next room.

NODE offered a flat "thank you" and handed the soup back.

…

"I'm sorry," Maxwell said. He stared at the carrots, as if they had appeared out of nowhere.

Guilt weighed heavily in his eyes. Then another emotion surfaced: relief.

'Good thing Cass was unconscious,' he thought. 'Good thing she doesn't know what I did in the operating room.'

…

I caught every shift in his expression. The corner of my mouth curved into a quiet, bitter smile.

People were right. It was easier to see clearly from the outside. I observed everything he did and missed nothing.

That soup had belonged to Josephine first. After she finished it, he had given the rest to me. She loved the taste of carrots.

The care he showed me now, the concern and warmth in his voice, were things Josephine had received first and then passed along.

NODE looked at him in silence. No emotion showed in her eyes. Not even I could find sorrow or joy there.

…

Maxwell's palm grew damp with sweat. Her silence unsettled him, though he could not explain why.