NOT YOURS TO LOSE, EX-HUSBAND

Roxanne's POV

The house has been silent for more than five minutes. Yet, I am still on the floor, still clutching my stomach.

A lot of thoughts go through my head. What if I die in this bedroom alone, staring at the mess on the floor? What would my husband do when he returns? Will Camilla tell him it isn't his fault he failed to check if I was alright?

I push myself closer to the door with my palms, and that is when I see it.

The smear of blood behind me.

"Oh God!" I whisper, fear mixing with the pain. I shiver from the uncertainty that has wrapped itself around me, but something keeps me pushing. I don't know what it is, but I don't stop using my palm as a propeller until I am outside the door.

My room is at the end of the hallway, and it looks like a lot of getting there while crawling. But I cannot give up now, not when I am so close.

Pain makes me fold into a ball in the middle of the hallway, kicking me until I am gasping for breath. Tears sting the corners of my eyes, pouring down my face.

When the worst of the pain passes, I resume my journey, intent on getting into my bedroom. After what feels like forever, I finally get the door open, reaching for my phone on the nightstand.

"Lennox." My voice breaks as I press the phone against my ear after dialling the only number on my emergency contact list.

"Roxanne?" I can hear the worry slip into his tone immediately. He should be asleep by now, but his voice sounds so alert. "Roxanne, are you fine? What is happening? Where is Reese? What did the fucker do?"

"I'm hurt," I cry, unable to stop myself. "There's ...there's blood everywhere."

Lennox doesn't even ask where Reese is before saying, "I'll be there as fast as I can. Stay on the call with me."

Pushing the phone back on the nightstand without ending the call, I lay my head on the rug and succumb to the pain, allowing it to whisk me away in its arms.

The next time I open my eyes, it is to the sound of something beeping in the background and the sickening smell of antiseptic in the air. There is someone beside me, their elbows digging into the bed.

"Urghh!" I wince as I try to sit up. Everything is spinning around me.

"Easy," a strangely familiar voice whispers. I feel a pair of strong, warm hands pushing me back into the bed. "You only just woke up. You don't have to get on your feet immediately."

"It's too bright," I whisper, closing my eyes. "Can you turn off the lights?"

"Of course." He gets up, just as I hear the door. "You can open your eyes now."

When I do, I find Lennox and a doctor in a lab coat standing by my bedside. There is another person in the room, the one who spoke to me when I opened my eyes. But he is in a far corner now, blending perfectly into the shadow.

"Mrs. Beaumont," the doctor starts. "How do you feel now?"

"Parched," I croak.

He laughs. "Of course." Then moves to the dispenser in the room, grabbing me a cup. I drink from it greedily, taking every single drop in.

That feels much better.

"Now, let's start with the pain." The doctor's voice is back. "Is that gone?"

I nod. I can't feel it again.

"What time is it?"

"6 am," the man in the shadows responds. "You were out for five hours."

"And Reese?"

Lennox looks at me like he's about to lose his shit. "I can't believe you're asking of him when he was the one who put you in here."

"He wasn't," I shake my head insistently. Lennox is my best friend, and he has never been a fan of Reese from the very first day, but they have managed to co-exist as long as they don't bump into each other.

And that is not difficult to achieve since Reese barely lets me go anywhere.

"So who did this?"

I open my lips to speak, but press them shut.

"What about all the blood?" I say instead, looking up at the doctor.

"You were so lucky they got there when they did. The baby is safe."

Baby. That word is like a match, and the only emotion I can feel is pain. Pain from how long my husband has reminded me of my barrenness, pain from when I see movies with babies and the only thing I can think of is how I don't have any.

"What?" I sit up so fast that I feel the blood rushing into my head. A bout of dizziness hits immediately, but I am too overwhelmed by the sudden revelation to give a moment's thought to it.

"I'm not pregnant," I tell the doctor. "My husband and I have been trying for years now,"

He smiles at me. "Well, you're pregnant because we had to do a lot to save your baby. I guess congratulations are in order, Mrs. Beaumont. Do you want me to break the news to him?"

For a moment, I feel weightless, like I am being lifted into the air. And then, the heaviness drops all around me when I replay the doctor's words.

"Don't tell him," I whisper. "I'll do it myself."

For the first time in years, it feels like I am personally making a decision where my body is concerned. The freedom to keep my baby away from him.

Or not.

"You need to spend the night here so we can properly monitor you, but you should be discharged tomorrow morning."

Lennox waits for the doctor to leave before speaking. "Don't tell me you're planning on going back there after this."

"I'm married," I murmur, getting back into bed. "I have to go back to my husband and my home."

"I cannot believe you're saying this!" Lennox gives me one last look before storming out. He will come around. He always does. I know he cares so much for me.

My eyes fall on the shadow still leaning on the wall in one corner of the room. He angles his head. "I'm thankful you didn't listen to me that night." His voice sounds like rainfall under the dark skies.

"What night?"

"Doctors are of the opinion that alcohol reduces the chances of fertility." He repeats my words from the party as he saunters closer. "A very subjective statement, but I'm glad you held on to it."

His face comes into focus.

I can see his piercing blue eyes.

"Hello, Mrs. Beaumont," his lips barely move. "I'm Isaiah."