Not Trapped with You, Not Trapped in Love

“Selena,are you trying to anger me to death?”Ryan sneered,“Look at you,you are looking like a homeless bitch.How dare you talk over me?”

“Selena,be your right self when you still have the time or else don't blame me.”He rubbed the middle of his forehead and tossed his black card to me,“Go and buy some new clothes for you.The way you are right now,seeing you I want to puke.”

“Such an eyesore!”He mumbled while frowning.

Looking at his expression,this man felt foreign to me.

I couldn't help but recall our past again.

…

“Ryan,look at those red rashes.”I,the little sixteen year old girl,cried out,“I look like a pig.”

“What if I can't ever recover from this?”I rubbed my face looking at the mirror and cried harder,“Do you still want me if it leaves scars?”

Ryan,who was barely nineteen,held me in his lap and coaxed me for a good two hours,“Sele,are you out of your mind?You are the love of my life.”

He kissed my forehead and squeezed my palm,“I will always love you even if it has scars.In my eyes,you are the most beautiful girl.”

“I love you,Ryan.”I kissed his cheek,“Don't change alright?”

…

Heh!Appearances changed with time,love faded with time too.

The man in front of me was now arrogant and powerful whereas I was the same girl who still liked to be drawn into his love.

Once Ryan and I were in love but now we were disgusted with each other.

Life always had its different way of playing with us.

I didn't continue to talk to him anymore yet Ryan didn't notice if anything was wrong with me.Well,I was not surprised as he no longer cared for me.

I was still preparing to leave and was about to set my foot forward when his voice buzzed again.

“While shopping,if you see something suitable for a little girl,buy one for Sarah,she would love that.”

A faint smile appeared on his lips,“Pink looks better on young girls.They look like butterflies.”

I suddenly remembered that Zenelia was wearing a pink skirt that day too.Maybe thinking of her,he had that smile on his face.

But the gentle expression didn't last long before he looked disgusted again.

“Selena,I am warning you for the last time now.Be good there and help the caretakers out with chores.Don't embarrass me there.”

I sneered and looked away.

Suddenly,my mind was longing for Sarah.My only girl,I endured all those painful and sleepless nights to have her but in the end she was taken away after being born.

Now,I hardly even recalled her face.

When the infant was being snatched away from me,the Madame of the Farnanadez family only gave the excuse that I belonged to a low class,white collared family and was not familiar with the elite society.If my baby stayed with me,she would be like me and could not stand on her feet.

Ryan didn't protect me and my child that day.He let them take my child away and when I tried to protest and raise my voice,he called me crazy.

“I don't know Sarah's size.”I slowly empathised,“And I am not going to the party too.”

Ryan frowned,“Such an useless!I’ll let Zen accompany Sarah and buy some dresses.She has better eyes than you.”

Of course she had!The pampered young miss of an elite family who was still in her twenties.I couldn't be compared to her.

Over the years,Farnanadezs loathed me and wanted Zenelia as their daughter-in-law.Even though they had almost a ten year age gap,Zenelia and Ryan were always considered a perfect match by two families whereas I was a country bumpkin.

Zenelia had been pampered since she was a child.When she didn't want to study,she was sent abroad to gain experience.When she didn't want to work,she went to Ryan’s company to kill time.

What she wants is always easily obtained.

Now,she had fallen in love with my husband,and the people in the Farnanadez family also tacitly acknowledged that she was the real Mrs.Farnandez.

I could only go to the old house to see Sarah during family gatherings during the holidays.

However,Zenelia was able to enter and leave the family house freely.Even the family portrait in the living room of the Farnanadez family showed Zenelia standing next to Ryan,holdingi Sarah,instead of me.

As for me,the real Mrs.Farnandez,I could only be a puppet of serving tea and water in the corner.

“That's right.I’m old and not worthy.”I nodded my head vigorously,“You should divorce me and go to your family.Don't delay your family reunion.”

“Selena,can you stop rebelling?”Ryan threw his phone in anger and shouted,“I’m being good to you but you are asking for miles now,since you get an inch now.”

“Don't forget you are nothing without me.”

“Without you,I’m still Selena Foster."

I glanced at Ryan.The man I had loved for ten years had completely changed and no trace of his youth could be found anymore.

Over the years,everyone thought that I climbed the social ladder by marrying Ryan,including him who thought so deep down.

But I would always remember how cautious and sweet he was when we just became a couple.

"Sele,I’m the happiest in this world and luckiest too.”

"I feel annoyed every time you come in front of me.”

Ryan grabbed his suit jacket and prepared to leave.

I suddenly said,"Ryan,my mother died fifteen days ago.I called you but you didn't answer.At that time,you should have been accompanying Zenelia on a trip.”