NO WAY FOR US

I woke up to the sharp, sterile scent of disinfectant filling my nose. The harsh brightness of fluorescent lights stung my eyes as I blinked against the glaring lights.

Every inch of me ached, the dull throb in my side a brutal reminder of the ambush. My hand instinctively drifted to my abdomen, feeling the hollowness beneath the bandages, and with it came a surge of grief I wasn’t ready to face.

A soft, steady beeping punctuated the silence, and I realized I was hooked up to monitors. The pack doctor, Dr. Reyes, was standing beside the bed, clipboard in hand, checking my vitals. His face, usually calm and reassuring, looked unusually tense.

“Water?” I managed to croak out, my throat dry and raspy.

The nurse next to him immediately filled a small cup, guiding it to my lips. The coolness of the water soothed my parched throat, but it couldn’t touch the emptiness inside.

The doctor dismissed the nurse with a nod, and she slipped out of the room, leaving us alone. Silence settled around us, thick and uncomfortable. Dr. Reyes kept his gaze on his clipboard, avoiding my eyes, as if he were weighing something heavy on his conscience.

I took a breath, steeling myself.

“Where is Ashton?” I asked, though the answer was painfully clear. The bond between an Alpha and his Beta was unbreakable, as was Ashton’s connection to Sera. In moments of crisis, Sera was always his priority. I already knew what the answer would be, yet I asked anyway, clinging to the faint hope that I might be wrong.

The doctor looked up, his face a mask of sympathy and hesitancy. “He’s… taking care of Sera,” he replied softly, each word a calculated blow.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, swallowing the bitter taste of resentment rising in my throat. It was exactly as I’d suspected. He hadn’t even come to see if I’d survived the attack.

Dr. Reyes shifted his weight, watching me carefully. “Elisa… did you know you were pregnant?” His voice was gentle, as if he feared that any sudden movement might shatter me.

I nodded slowly, my hand instinctively brushing my abdomen. “Yes. I knew.” I met his gaze, a plea unspoken between us. “Don’t tell anyone. Please. I lost the child… there’s no reason for anyone else to know.”

His eyes softened, filled with sympathy and something else—pity, perhaps. “As you wish, Elisa. I’ll keep this to myself. I’m sorry for your loss.” He paused, his expression grave. “May the Moon Goddess guide you through this.”

I managed a weak nod of gratitude, but as he walked away, the weight of his words sank deeper, pressing against my heart like a stone. I turned my face away, willing the tears back. I wouldn’t cry here, not in the sterile walls of the pack infirmary.

Later that evening, I found myself on the balcony, the sharp wind biting against my skin as I clutched the railing. The cold stung, grounding me, but it did little to calm the storm brewing within.

Since the ambush, everything felt out of control, slipping through my fingers like sand. The attack had only amplified what I’d been trying to ignore for months: Ashton was no longer mine. Or maybe he never truly had been.

Behind me, I could hear his voice through the open door, barking orders over the phone. Pack business, as usual. That was always Ashton’s priority, always the center of his world. Not me. Not us. Not the baby I had carried and lost the child. All while he was wrapped up in Sera’s safety.

My fingers tightened on the railing until my knuckles turned white, the sting of the cold metal grounding me.

No one knew about the baby—no one except Dr. Reyes.

I had carried the secret of carrying Ashton’s child for weeks, waiting for the right moment to tell Ashton, hoping it might finally bring us closer. But that moment would never come, and now, all I had left was an emptiness so deep it felt like it might consume me whole.

I turned, glancing over my shoulder. Ashton was pacing in the living room, his suit jacket slung over the back of a chair, phone pressed to his ear as he barked commands with a determination I remembered all too well. He didn’t even look like he’d been through hell.

Meanwhile, I felt like I was drowning, my heart breaking a little more with every shallow breath. I knew the moment he hung up, he’d turn back to Sera, to her needs. She was the one who had his attention, his loyalty.

“Elisa!” Ashton’s voice broke through my spiraling thoughts, snapped me back to the present. He stood at the balcony doors, his gaze locked on me with that intense, commanding look that had once drawn me to him. Now, it only filled me with bitterness.

I didn’t move.

“Come inside. You’ve been out here for hours,” he said, his tone softer now, trying to bridge the chasm between us. But the words felt hollow, unable to reach the ache in my chest.

“I’m fine,” I replied coolly, refusing to meet his gaze. The cold wind was easier to bear than the emptiness he’d left in me.

A flash of irritation crossed his face as he took a step closer, his presence filling the small space between us. “You’ve barely spoken to me since the ambush. What’s going on with you?”

I laughed bitterly, a sound that surprised even me. “What’s going on? You’re seriously asking me that?” I turned to face him fully, letting him see the pain and frustration etched across my face.

His brows furrowed, a look of genuine confusion flashing in his eyes. “Yes, Elisa. Why the hell are you acting like this?”

“Why am I acting like this?” I repeated, my voice sharp as a blade. “Maybe because I was there, Ashton. I was in that car too, watching everything unfold, knowing I could die. And where were you? Oh, right, you were with her.”

He stiffened, his jaw clenching. “I was protecting her. She was vulnerable—”

“I was vulnerable!” I snapped, cutting him off. “I needed you, Ashton, and you weren’t there. Do you have any idea what that felt like? To be abandoned while you ran to her side without a second thought?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but I didn’t give him the chance.

“Every single time, Ashton,” I continued, my voice rising with every word. “Every time, you choose her. You don’t even realize it, but everyone else does. The pack members, everyone—they pity me. I’m supposed to be your mate, your equal. But instead, you make me feel like I’m nothing, like I’m invisible.”

I could see something flicker in his eyes then—guilt, maybe, or a hint of shame. But whatever it was, he quickly buried it beneath a mask of stoic calm.

“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” he said, his voice quieter now, as if he thought that would soothe me. “Sera is important to the pack, Elisa. That’s all.”

“And what am I?” I demanded, my voice breaking. “Am I just some accessory? Someone you keep around because it’s convenient?”

He fell silent, his expression unreadable. I felt a hot surge of anger rise in my chest, and I struggled to contain it, to keep my voice steady.

“Ashton… I lost something that day,” I whispered, the words like a confession. “Do you even know that?”

A look of confusion passed over his face. “What are you saying?”

But I shook my head, feeling the last shred of hope dissolve within me. “It doesn’t matter now.”

I turned on my heel, leaving him behind as I walked away, the sound of his voice calling after me fading into the background.

I didn’t want to hear his excuses, his empty promises. I was done waiting for him to notice me, to see me as anything more than an afterthought.

As I reached the hallway, I picked up the phone, dialing a number I hadn’t called in months. Eric, a close ally from my father’s former pack, answered on the third ring. His deep voice was a balm, a reminder of the home I’d left behind for a life that had ultimately left me hollow.

“It’s me, Eric,” I said, forcing my voice to remain steady, even as the world around me seemed to be falling apart. “I’m coming home.”