Never Look Back: I Found a New Me

"Bring me all the journals about Simon. I've decided to forget him."

"Really?"

My best friend, Wendy Yaleman, sounded thrilled on the other end of the call.

She had always advised me to get a divorce.

She said, "The moment you're unhappy, it's a sign this marriage has failed. He hasn't made your relationship public after all these years—does that even count as love?"

Back then, I knew deep down that Simon's actions were disrespectful.

But how did I defend him?

I told myself he was busy and his career came first, but reality slapped me.

In a survival reality show, he worked seamlessly with Hannah, calling her "my cutie pie" every chance he got.

Rumors about them were flying everywhere.

Wendy was right. I was not only a fool but also blind.

But I couldn't keep pretending when the truth stared me in the face. I was genuinely exhausted.

I nodded firmly. "Wendy, I appreciate it. But I want to burn those journals myself."

"No worries, I'll fly right over to your next shooting spot."

Her reply lifted a bit of the heaviness in my heart.

I kicked off my heels and trudged back to camp.

Although filming had wrapped, everyone was still up.

Some guests played chess while Hannah and Simon sat huddled together for warmth.

One guest teased, "No wonder everyone said Hannah turned down so many offers during the show. She's already taken!"

Simon didn't deny it. Instead, he pulled Hannah's hands into his lap and held them carefully.

Hannah blushed and buried her head into his chest.

The atmosphere turned cold immediately after I came back.

Someone mumbled softly.

"I saw Ms. Stevens called Mr. Ford away and she came back looking pretty down."

"She's that infamous third wheel, isn't she? Knowing full well his ideal type is Hannah, yet shamelessly clinging to him."

Hannah must have heard the murmurs because she couldn't hide her smug smile.

"Claire, want to join us by the fire?"

"No, tha—"

Before I could finish, Simon cut me off coldly.

"Don't come over. There's no place for you here."

I nodded calmly and was about to leave when he called me.

A hot water bottle was thrown into my arms when I looked back.

He didn't even glance at me, his expression icy as he returned to cuddling Hannah.

I stared at the hot water bottle, thinking about his public persona as a cold yet secretly warm-hearted "tsundere" film star.

He was just as committed to the role off-camera.

Clutching the hot water bottle, I went into my tent.

It felt like I'd been shut out of the world.

Outside, there was laughter and joy; inside, only silence and solitude.

I have amnesia—my memories reset every three years. Anything after the age of 20 slowly fades away. That's why I keep thick journals documenting my life over the years.

Half—no, more than half—of those entries are about Simon.

We dated for three years and were secretly married for another three.

The first time I told Simon I was on the verge of forgetting him, he was packing for a film shoot.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. "Now's not the time for jokes. I know you can't bear to lose me. I'm doing this for our future."

A young, lively girl was always more interesting than someone as dull and insecure as me.

Hannah was the lead actress in that film. During the shoot, rumors about them started swirling.

The paparazzi even caught Simon sneaking into Hannah's hotel room late at night, claiming they were likely in a secret relationship.