Neighbor Mom Buzzes Me at Midnight, I Let Her

Two:

I sat on the living room couch all night, wound tight and unable to settle, and by morning I finally understood something. There's no such thing as "take a step back and the sky opens up." Take a step back and all you get is an ulcer.

If Penelope Lawrence was going to fight this dirty, then I couldn't keep playing the pushover.

So the next morning I didn't even eat breakfast. I went straight to the building management office.

One look at me and their faces fell.

"Ms. Edwards, the doorbell thing, there's honestly nothing we can do about it."

"Everybody knows Penelope Lawrence stays home all day. You've gotten on her bad side, and she's got all the time in the world to keep at it."

"It's not that we won't help you. But grudges are better untangled than tightened. She's only targeting you, so you must have crossed her somewhere. The more we step in, the more she'll take it out on you."

I knew all that already.

From the very first time Penelope buzzed my keypad, I'd gone to management. But whether they were just smoothing it over or whatever they were doing, it only got worse.

So I nodded.

"You've misunderstood me. That's not what I meant."

"I came to buy a few entry keycards to give her. Take a step back, let the sky open up."

They didn't say much. They just sold me a few keycards, wearing a slightly odd expression.

But the moment I left, the people in the office started talking.

【You think this move of Ms. Edwards' is going to work?】

【No chance. Did you forget the last owner? He paid out of his own pocket to install facial-recognition entry in their stairwell, and Penelope Lawrence still flat-out refused to register her face, remember?】

【Back then she said it was collecting her personal privacy, called the police, ripped the facial-recognition unit off the wall, smashed it, and threw it in his face.】

【That's exactly why that owner, Mr. Delaney, chose to sell the place cheap. I'm telling you, going over there to hand her keycards is a waste of time!】

【Can't blame me for not warning her. Point is, if we actually help this Ms. Edwards, that lunatic will come after us next, won't she?】

...

That was when I understood. Management had been on Penelope's side the whole time.

Not that it was surprising.

Between me and Penelope Lawrence, one is a teacher you can reason with, the other a stay-at-home mom who makes scenes over nothing. Anyone can tell which one is safe to offend and which one isn't.

And I knew handing over keycards was a waste of time.

But if I was going to fight back, I had to start here.

When I handed Penelope the keycards, all polite and pleasant, she looked a little surprised. But once she heard why I'd come, her whole face lit up smug.

"All right, all right. I really wasn't doing it on purpose. I honestly just kept forgetting my keycard."

"Since you've given me this many cards, I definitely won't buzz your door anymore. From now on we'll be good neighbors."

I didn't believe a word of it.

But I thanked her over and over anyway and left.

And it played out exactly as I'd guessed. I gave her five keycards, so five days later, Penelope was buzzing my keypad at two in the morning again.

"Oh, Ms. Edwards, look at me. Pregnancy really does turn your brain to mush for years. Those cards you gave me, I went and lost them."

"Tell you what, just let me in tonight, and tomorrow I'll go to management myself for replacements. I promise I'll never bother you again, okay?"

Of course I knew she was doing it on purpose.

Because I knew for a fact those five keycards had been sold back to management at full price the very first day she got them.

So this time.

I didn't hesitate at all. I dialed the police.

"Hello, I'd like to report a crime."

"Someone is deliberately harassing residents. It's serious."