A Naughty Christmas Affair: Fake Dating My Ex Boyfriend's Brothers

Autumn

Shock makes me go still, and I glance quickly between Luke, Elijah, and Benedict. Because they’re the ones who spoke up. And considering how tense things are between them, I’m guessing it wasn’t a coordinated thing. They just all spoke up at the same time. To say they’re dating me.

What the hell is going on?

The table is silent, everyone looking as shocked as I feel.

Raymond’s eyes are wide, and he also looks between his brothers, shaking his head. “Wait, what? You… you’re dating my brothers? All three of them?”

God, I hate this. I feel caught, pinned underneath the silence and the stares from everyone else at the table. I have no idea what to say now.

I had no idea they were going to speak up and say what they just said. I don’t know what they’re doing. I just wanted to save face in front of Raymond and not have to deal with the terrible, condescending pity in his voice when he talked about me not having anyone.

A glance at his three older brother confirms that none of them consulted with the others before deciding to speak up. They’re looking at each other the way you look at someone when they say something that surprises you, but it’s a subtle thing, probably not noticeable to anyone else.

The three of them are just as surprised as I am.

Luke recovers first, clearing his throat and shrugging. “Yeah.”

Mom is staring at the three of them, looking between them and then back to me. “What?” she asks, shaking herself. “I’m sorry… I just… what?” She seems stunned and confused, and there’s a small part of me that is amused at catching her off guard.

Elijah snorts. “It’s the twenty-first century,” he says in his deep, even voice. “It’s a nontraditional relationship. You’ve heard of those, right? We’re all dating Autumn.”

Coming from Elijah, it seems almost reasonable. He has this way of talking that makes everything he says sound believable and true.

But Mom doesn’t seem to be digesting it well. She leans back in her chair, her eyes wide. There’s a twist to her mouth that lets me know she’s not on board and is put off by the situation, but she’s too polite to go off about it with guests in the house.

So she just swallows and nods shallowly. “Oh. Well, then.”

“Okay, wait,” Raymond says, cutting in. “How did you even start dating them?” He addresses that to me. “They haven’t been back here in years.”

None of his brothers seem to know what to say to that, and I falter for a second, my brain scrambling to come up with something that will sound plausible.

“We’ve been doing long distance,” I say all at once, remembering the plot of a movie I watched recently. “We reconnected online a while ago, and things just sort of sparked between us.”

Rhiannon raises an eyebrow. “Online? Like on a dating app?”

I shake my head. “No, it was on social media. One of them sent me a message to check in, and I responded, and it went from there.”

“And you never stopped to think you didn’t need three of them?” Rhiannon laughs, sharing a look with Raymond that’s not quite snide, but definitely isn’t warm.

“Nope,” I say, popping the ‘p’ sound obnoxiously. “Go big or go home, right?”

“Are you happy?” That question is from Dad, who so far hasn’t said anything about it. I cringe a little internally, because it doesn’t feel good to lie to him. Part of me is waiting for him to try to defend my honor or something and demand to know what the three of them think they’re doing, all dating his daughter.

But of course he doesn’t. My dad is too hands off for that. Too calm and eager to stay out of any drama.

He looks at me steadily, and I give him a little smile, nodding. My insides twist with guilt.

“Yeah,” I say out loud. “I’m pretty happy.”

“That’s good,” he replies.

Mom looks like she doesn’t know what to ask, her lips pressed into a thin line. I know if I let Rhiannon and Raymond get going, then they’ll come up with all kinds of questions, trying to either make me feel bad or poke holes in the story.

I need to wrap this up before it gets more out of hand.

“It’s not that exciting,” I tell them. “We’ve just been talking a lot, and one thing led to another.”

“Three times?” Rhiannon throws out.

“Yes,” Luke says firmly. “That’s why we’re all here.”

“Uh, I’m also getting married, remember? Raymond says. “Don’t forget about that.”

“That too.” The way Luke says it makes it sound like an afterthought, and I have to smother the ripple of amusement.

My heart is still pounding through the conversation. I’m half waiting for all three of them to laugh and admit this is all a lie, or for someone to see through everything, but it doesn’t happen.

They seem as committed to this as I am now.

Rhiannon folds her arms, leaning back in her chair. “It’s a little weird for you to be dating all three of Raymond’s brothers, isn’t it, Vi? I mean, he is your ex.”

For a split second, I see red. I have to work to bite back the comment I want to make, which is that Rhiannon is sitting there at the table, wearing an engagement ring from my ex. If anything’s weird, it’s that. But that would cause more drama, and I don’t want that right now. I don’t want things to get ugly.

“Now, now,” Mom says, jumping in. Maybe she can sense the tension growing at the table between me and Rhiannon. “This actually works out for the best. Your brothers already have their own invites to the wedding, Raymond, so your cousin can still come, and Autumn still gets her date. Her… dates.”

Instead of looking happy about that, Raymond just looks irritated. His eyebrows turn down, and he’s a half step away from pouting.

But he doesn’t argue. He just nods and starts pushing food around on his plate.

The conversation moves on, thank goodness, with Mom rushing in to start talking about other wedding logistics.

That’s enough to soothe things with Rhiannon, now that she’s back to being the center of attention, but I can’t really focus on anything that’s being said.