My Sister Was My Husband's Deceased First Love

I stood in front of Eliana's grave. I stared at the black-and-white photo of her face, which looked so much like mine. I felt a wave of sorrow and anger rise within me.

Once, neither of us wanted the other around; but later, we became each other's only support.

During that era of strict family planning, my parents desperately wanted a son. Eliana was unwanted, born to take care of the brother they hoped for.

Even when my mother was pregnant with me, Eliana was already told that she had to take care of her future brother, love him, and let him have his way in everything.

Eliana, though young and confused, realized that once a brother came, she might lose the parents' love.

She once told me that she secretly felt relieved when her expected brother turned out to be a sister.

But fate seemed to enjoy playing jokes, and the son my mother had so eagerly awaited became an unwanted daughter.

My mother even injured herself in a conflict with the family planning officers, trying to avoid the policy, and lost the ability to have more children.

She was filled with both anger and resentment when she saw me, the one who crushed her hopes. She viewed me as an alien and despising me for not being what she had wanted.

Eliana and I had completely different personalities. She was always positive, lively, and sensible.

I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. I was quiet, withdrawn, and reserved.

Gradually, my mother came to terms with the reality of not having a son and began pouring all her care and attention into Eliana.

In truth, my parents were always calculating, assessing early on which of us would be more successful and bring them more pride.

Because of this, my life in that household grew increasingly unbearable.

My father was indifferent, and my mother resented me.

Only Eliana cared about me.

When my mother planned to send me off to work after middle school, it was Eliana who stood up to all the pressure and insisted that I go to high school and take the college entrance exams.

"Zoey, don't listen to Mom. You have to study hard. Education is the only way out, the only way to succeed.

"Zoey, don't worry about money. Just focus on your exams, I'll cover your tuition with my part-time jobs.

"Zoey, there are a lot of good colleges in Ramirez. Work hard and get into one, and we can be together!"

It was Eliana's encouragement that helped me block out all of my mother's hurtful words.

It gave me the strength to break free from my family's cage and the courage to explore the world outside.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it to Ramirez and ended up in Coleman instead.

Eliana and I had planned it out. She would graduate first, find a stable job. Once I graduated, I'd go join her.

Although we couldn't see each other often, we spoke on the phone regularly.

"Zoey, I'm in love! I really like him!

"Zoey, when you come to Ramirez, I'll introduce him to you.

"Zoey, don't worry, even if I'm in a relationship, I'll still take care of you.

"Zoey, if you meet someone nice in college, you can date too, but make sure you take care of yourself."

I knew Eliana was in a relationship, but I had never met him.

I genuinely wished for Eliana to find happiness.

In this world, she was the person I most wanted to see happy.

But all of those beautiful hopes were shattered on my birthday.

"You're having a birthday! 20 is such a big deal, I'll buy you a cream cake to celebrate.

"Zoey, I've made it to Coleman. We'll see each other soon! Are you excited?

"Zoey, happy birthday! Stay happy every day..."

But then, a sudden car accident took Eliana's life, and with it, all my happiness.

My parents rushed over and immediately started blaming and hitting me.

In their eyes, I was the one responsible for Eliana's death.

"It must've been you, you brat! You're the one who wanted the cake, and that's what killed Eliana...

"Why didn't you die instead, you worthless burden!

"I should've drowned you when you were born.

"You're a curse, you! You're the one who killed your sister!"

...

But my dear Eliana, the only person who ever stood up for me, was gone.

I touched the black-and-white photo of her radiant smile and cried in anguish.

"Eliana..."

"Eliana..."

"Why did it have to end this way?

You were always so good to me, so good that I can't even blame you.

I thought I had finally come out from the shadow of your absence.

But now, my beloved husband and my own parents have already teamed up to drag me into the abyss."