My Sister Was My Husband's Deceased First Love

I always thought I was happy.

I've spent seven years of marriage with the man I love by my side.

Now, we're expecting a new life to join us.

But then, I found my husband's journal.

And I heard the words, "Eliana, it's so good you're still here..."

That's when I woke up. I was only a stand-in for my sister.

I could never win against her because I couldn't surpass the dead.

Today is my birthday, and also my sister, Eliana's death anniversary.

For exactly seven years now, since I turned 20, I haven't celebrated my birthday once.

On such a sad day, it wouldn't be right to feel joy for my birthday. It would be disloyal to her.

But my sister has been gone for seven years now, and those of us still living have to move forward.

——

I gently touched my still-flat belly with happiness.

Maybe the arrival of this new life will be a fresh start.

A chance to finally step out of the shadow of my sister's passing and live my own life.

Seeing me lost in thought, my husband, Ian handed me a peeled boiled egg.

"What are you thinking about?"

I thought about surprising you.

I smiled at him and said, "Ian, today is my birthday. I thought I'd get a small cake for just the two of us, and we could have a simple celebration. What do you think?"

"No, absolutely not!"

His sudden harsh refusal took me by surprise.

Realizing he'd overreacted, Ian quickly explained, "Babe, I remember you telling me that today is your sister's death anniversary, so you haven't celebrated for years.

"Besides... if your parents found out you were celebrating your birthday, they'd probably be upset."

"It's just the two of us. If you don't say anything, and I don't say anything, how would they ever know?"

Ian frowned slightly but still took my hand. He gazed deeply at my face, tracing the features of my face with his eyes.

It was as if just looking at my face made him infinitely patient and willing to compromise.

"Babe, you know I don't like sweets, especially those overly sugary cream cakes."

"Well, even if we don't eat cake, we could at least have some spaghetti, and..."

"Zoey, stop being so stubborn!"

Ian's sudden harsh yet weak demeanor left me confused and stunned.

I just wanted to have a birthday celebration, that's all.

I wanted to tell him in a warm setting that we were going to have a baby.

Seeing the confusion on my face, Ian softened his tone again.

"Honey, a birthday is also a reminder of the hardship your mother went through, and it's your sister's death anniversary. Let's not celebrate it."

Seeing my hesitation, Ian patted my head and continued to persuade me, "Babe, I've been so busy lately. It's the end of the year, and I have so many projects to wrap up, plus I have to thank clients. I even have a work dinner tonight."

He gently pinched my cheek like he always did. "I'm sorry, babe. I can't be with you tonight. Get some rest early, don't wait up for me."

What he said seemed to make sense, so I didn't even have a reason to refuse.

After breakfast, Ian hurried off, but not before looking deeply into my eyes and giving me a quick kiss like always.

Just like always, we were very much in love.

I was filled with hope, thinking that even if we didn't celebrate, I would still hear him say, "Happy Birthday."

When our eyes met, all Ian said was "Babe, I'm leaving."