My Neighbor Demanded a Job at Midnight

The only reason I was being so patient.

The only reason I kept swallowing my temper and explaining instead of snapping, was not that I had some saintly disposition. It was that I'd heard plenty about what May Acevedo was capable of.

A few days after she'd moved in.

Some of her laundry had blown down onto my balcony, and since I wasn't home at the time, she added me on iMessage through the neighborhood group chat. That was the moment I realized the unit upstairs came with a nightmare attached.

May's profile picture was the classic cartoon mom-dad-and-kid set.

There was this one time when a neighbor simply suggested in the group chat that she stop posting such disgusting photos. May tracked the woman down and dumped a trash bag full of feces right over her head.

The police got involved, and May was given a warning and held in custody for two days, but she didn't take it as a consequence at all. If anything, she came out treating her stint behind bars like a badge of honor, like it made her some hardened street veteran, and she acted with even less restraint after that.

The pictures of excrement on her feed only multiplied.

Not just that, she was forever posting about how stay-at-home moms were the saviors of the entire world, how the government ought to dock the wages of single people and child-free couples, seize their assets, and hand it all out as a salary to women like her.

Or she'd be gushing about how outstanding her husband was, how many women threw themselves at him.

There was this one time.

A young woman had only stopped her husband to ask for directions.

May chased her all the way home and screamed abuse at her for nearly a month straight, until the poor girl finally moved out. Only then did the whole thing end.

Thinking about all this.

My tone grew even more weary, but I genuinely didn't want a fight. Just like May said, I'd bought my place at the top of the market, and I wasn't about to sell at a loss over a single neighbor.

Still, I knew there was no reasoning with a person like this.

If I told her she was asking for too much, she'd just assume I was haggling, so I simply kept shaking my head.

"I'm not looking down on stay-at-home moms, and I'm certainly not lying to you."

"Ms. Acevedo, since you've looked into my company, you should know that aside from the sales reps who are out chasing leads all day, every job we have is physical labor."

"You can't work overtime, you need your weekends and holidays off, so sales is out of the question."

"As for the manual work, you're hauling thousands of pounds of freight at a moment's notice. You're pregnant. No matter how tough you are, your body couldn't handle it, so..."

Everything I said was the simple truth.

But before I could even finish, May cut me off.

"I know all that!"

"None of it matters, though. You're the boss. You can absolutely just create a position for me."

"Like, make me a receptionist, put me in charge of signing for packages, ordering water, tracking attendance, all that. I can do every bit of it."

"Or I could be your accountant. Sure, I don't have much education, but cutting paychecks and moving money around? I can definitely manage that. I'm a fast learner, I'll pick it up in no time!"

"It's all over the internet, stay-at-home moms are all-around warriors. You hire me, and you will not regret it!"

I rolled my eyes on the inside.

I was completely out of words, and as the hour stretched later and later, I had no choice but to harden my expression.

"It's very late, I've said everything I have to say, and I'm going to bed now. Please leave."

With that.

I didn't give May a chance to respond. I just shut the door in her face.

But May still refused to go. Not only did she stay put, she pulled out a rolling pin and started pounding on the door.

"Marianne Edwards, don't you dare play dead in there!"

"If you won't open up, I'll keep knocking. I slept all day, so I've got all the energy in the world tonight. I can keep this up until sunrise!"

"You've got all that money, and you won't lift a finger to help a poor, helpless, hardworking mom like me. You are nothing but rich and rotten to the core!"