
My Husband Left Me Pregnant for His Former Lover
Chapter 2
The contract was still warm in my bag.
Fifteen months of calls, of revised decks, of a Tuesday in February when I stayed on a video call until two in the morning because the client's CFO was in Singapore and that was the only window we had. Alden had been asleep when I finally came to bed. I remember standing over him in the dark, still in my work clothes, thinking: this is what we built. This is what it costs. And it's worth it.
He'd squeezed my hand at dinner tonight when the client slid the signed pages across the table. Just once, quick, under the tablecloth where no one could see. But I felt it.
We were on the FDR, rain coming down hard enough that the wipers couldn't keep up. The city lights smeared across the windshield in long orange streaks. I had my heels off and my feet up on the dash, the way I always do on long drives, and Alden had the heat on too high the way he always does, and for about twenty minutes on that highway it felt like the early days again. Two people in a car, tired and winning.
His phone lit up on the console between us.
I saw the name. Skyla.
He picked it up before the second ring.
'Hey — what? Slow down.' His voice changed. Not the voice he uses with clients, not the voice he uses with me. Something older. Something that had nothing to do with the life we'd built together. 'Are you hurt? Is Ryatt—'
He was already braking.
He pulled onto the shoulder of the FDR Drive, hazards blinking, and I watched his face in the orange pulse of the lights. He wasn't looking at me.
'I'll be there in ten minutes,' he said. 'Don't move.'
He hung up. He reached into the back seat and grabbed his umbrella — the big one, the golf umbrella I'd bought him for his birthday — and held it out to me.
'She slipped,' he said. 'Her and Ryatt, on the sidewalk somewhere near Sutton Place. She sounds — I have to go.'
I looked at the umbrella. I looked at the rain hammering the windshield. I looked at my heels on the floor mat.
'You want me to get out of the car,' I said.
'Miley—'
'On the FDR. In a rainstorm. After I just closed the biggest contract this company has ever signed.'
'Order an Uber. It'll be here in five minutes, it's not far—'
'Alden.'
He was already looking at the road ahead. Already gone.
I took the umbrella. I don't know why. Some reflex, some dignity I was still trying to hold onto. I got out of the car in my bare feet, the pavement cold and slick under me, and I watched his taillights disappear into the rain.
I stood on the shoulder of the FDR Drive for twenty-two minutes. I know because I watched the Uber app count down and reset twice — first driver canceled, second one was six minutes away, then eight, then six again. The umbrella held, mostly. My feet didn't. The hem of my dress was soaked through by the time the car finally pulled up, and the driver looked at me in the rearview mirror with an expression I recognized as pity and said nothing, which was the right call.
The contract was still in my bag. Dry. I'd held the bag against my chest the whole time.
---
He didn't come home that night.
In the morning there were flowers on the kitchen counter — white peonies, my favorite, the expensive ones from the florist on Columbus — and Alden at the stove making coffee like it was a regular Saturday. He kissed my cheek. He said the flowers were for the contract. He said she'd twisted her ankle and Ryatt had been scared and there was no one else to call.
He never said he was sorry.
---
I found her Instagram three days later.
I don't know what I was looking for. I told myself I was just looking. Her account had been private for months, but she'd loosened the settings recently, and the algorithm, with its particular cruelty, served her up to me on a Sunday morning while I was still in bed.
The first post was a photograph. Grainy, the way college photos go when someone scans an old print. A boy asleep on a dorm couch, one arm thrown over his face, wearing a sweatshirt I recognized — gray, with a small hole at the left cuff. Alden had that sweatshirt when we met. He wore it the night we stayed up until four in the morning mapping out the company's first pitch deck on the Brooklyn studio floor.
*some people never really leave you*, the caption read.
I scrolled.
There was a location tag at the ramen counter on 52nd Street — the one Alden and I went to every year on the anniversary of our first client. A photo of a cocktail, blurred background, tagged at a bar in the West Village. The bar where Alden proposed to me.
She wasn't being careless. She was being precise.
Each post was a pin on a map of my marriage, placed there to make sure I knew she'd been there first.
---
The DMs came the following week.
Photographs of handwritten letters. Alden's handwriting — I know every loop and slant of it from eight years of margins and Post-it notes and the birthday cards he still writes by hand. *I want to build something that lasts with you. I want to give you everything I don't have yet.* Words he had written to her, years before he wrote anything to me.
I sat with my phone in my lap for a long time.
Then I went to find him.
He was in the home office, jacket off, reading something on his laptop. He looked up when I came in, and something in my face must have warned him, because he closed the laptop before I said a word.
'She's sending me things,' I said. I kept my voice level. I've learned that a quiet voice lands harder than a loud one. 'Old letters. Location tags at places that are ours. She's doing it deliberately, Alden, and you know her well enough to know that.'
He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, 'You're letting work stress bleed into us.'
I stared at him.
'That's what you're going with,' I said.
'Miley. She's a woman who had a hard year and posts nostalgic things on Instagram. You're reading into it because you're exhausted and—'
'She tagged the bar where you proposed to me.'
Silence.
'Alden.' My voice didn't shake. I made sure of that. 'Tell me who she is. Tell me what she is to you. Right now, in this room, just tell me the truth.'
He looked at me for a long moment. Then he picked up his laptop, stood up, and walked past me into the hallway.
'I'm going to sleep in the guest room,' he said. 'We can talk when you're not like this.'
The door clicked shut behind him.
I stood in the empty office, the lamp still on, his coffee cup still on the desk. I thought about the shoulder of the FDR Drive. I thought about the white peonies with no apology attached. I thought about a woman tagging my proposal bar and a man who called it paranoia.
I went back to our bedroom alone.
I opened my nightstand drawer. Looked at the pill pack I'd been reaching for every morning for six years.
I closed the drawer without taking one.
Not yet, I told myself. But something in me had stopped believing that word.
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