My First Love Became the Reason I Chose Death

Yet in the video from that night four years earlier, I had also been dressed in yellow when I was harmed by those three strange men.

From that moment on, I wore only dark clothes. Even if I got hurt, no one could notice the stains.

Dark colors work best as a shield.

They quickly make men who stare with lust lose interest.

Austin ignored my refusal and stubbornly told the worker to pack everything up. He then asked me to get into his car. “I will drive you home.”

“No.” I declined without thinking.

Austin pulled his brows together and said again, “Get in the car.”

“Is it the same address?”

I shook my head. “That house was sold a long time ago.”

Then I gave him a different address.

Austin drove slowly and carefully. The ride stayed quiet the whole time. Only when we were nearly there did he finally talk.

“What happened back then was a rash mistake on my part. I carry a lot of regret.”

I softly answered, lowered my face, and stayed quiet.

Austin looked toward me more than once. Seeing that I did not speak, he swallowed the rest of his words.

“Just stop here.”

I pointed toward the candied hawthorn stand in front.

Austin stopped the vehicle right away. I thanked him, then spent the last few coins I had to buy one stick of candied hawthorn.

“You enjoy sweets?”

Austin’s voice made me jump. I thought he had already driven off. I did not expect him to step out and walk after me.

I shook my head. “My daughter enjoys them.”

Even though Tanya lived because I saved her back, she still had a difficult life with me and hadn’t eaten many good things.

This plain stick of candied hawthorn was something she had been hoping for for a long time.

As expected, Austin’s face turned very unpleasant. “You have a daughter? When did that happen?”

He let out a cold chuckle, his face losing color.

“So I even thought I owed you something back then. Belle, I didn’t think you would be this low, already having a child while still in college.”

“Looks like I thought too much!”

Austin slammed the car door and drove off fast.

Choked by the smoke and dirt thrown up by the car, I couldn’t stop coughing until tears streamed down.

I had done it on purpose when I mentioned my daughter earlier. Even though Tanya wasn’t my birth child, I wanted him to get the wrong idea.

I wanted him to understand that he and I no longer lived in the same place in life.

I didn’t know if what he did came from regret or sympathy, buying me clothes and giving me a ride back.

There was no promise that once we reached where I stayed, he wouldn’t suggest going inside to look around.

But how could I ever allow him to enter?

I walked all the way down the steps to the lower level, and in the deep darkness, pushed open the door to the old storage room.

Back then, to pay for Tanya’s medical care, I sold the house.

I lived like a bug, like a rat in a drain, barely staying alive in this dark, tight space underground.

Back when I was studying, I read in books that some people had already used up all their energy just to stay alive.

I didn’t believe it then. I thought it was simply because they didn’t try hard enough.

But people who weren’t lucky, each time, their luck was always just a bit worse.

In the end, people who had nothing didn’t think about luck at all. Life was already too harsh. Just staying alive already costs them everything.

When I returned home, Tanya was coughing badly.

Her face had turned blue and purple from it.

But when she saw me come back, she still dragged one leg and came over to hug me.

“Mom, I missed you so much…”

I held her tightly, my heart hurting. “Be good, Tanya. When Mom earns a little more money, I will take you to see a doctor.”

Tanya was as sweet as an angel.

But heaven often didn’t protect angels.