My Comatose Wife Woke Up

Was this some kind of joke? I had only been collecting that million-dollar salary for a month. I had not even made enough, but she had woken up.

She could have stayed in that coma a little longer. I was not ready to lose my job.

I was screaming inside, but I kept a straight face and stuck to the loyal-husband script. “B-Babe, you’re awake! That’s amazing. I’ll tell your mom right away.”

Before I could move, Thea stopped me. “Stay right there.”

I froze and turned to look at her.

“You’re Xeno Walker?” she asked.

I nodded. “I’m your husband.”

Right after I said that, I heard a voice inside my head.

‘Where did Mom find this ugly, dumb guy?’

My eyes went wide. What the hell? I could hear her thoughts.

She could call me dumb, but insulting my looks? That was crossing the line. Every time I looked in the mirror, I would appreciate how good-looking I was.

I looked her up and down. No matter how I saw it, she did not seem like someone who had just woken up from a coma.

“Have you been faking being in a coma this whole time?”

Thea let out a cold snort. “Guess you’re not that dumb.”

I finally exhaled. It seemed I would not be fired just yet.

“Why would you fake it in the first place?”

“You don’t need to know. Just make sure you keep your mouth shut,” she said with a straight face.

She thought, ‘A dumb guy like you doesn’t deserve to know anything about me.’

This time, I was absolutely sure I could hear her thoughts.

Of course, nothing nice ever came out of her thought.

“I don’t see why I should listen to you.”

She shot me a glare. “Do you want to keep that one-million-dollar salary a month or not?”

Yes. Yes, I did.

I zipped my lips with a finger. “You have my word. I won’t say a thing.”

Just like that, we had an agreement. She would keep pretending to be in a coma, and I would keep covering for her while collecting my paycheck.

Honestly, having her awake was more trouble than it was worth. She had a complaint about everything.

I had to pick out every tiny fish bone before she would eat. Her water had to stay exactly at 98.6°F. Even a wrinkle in the sheets would keep her up all night.

She made that princess from the fairy tale with the pea seem easygoing.

After a week of this, I was more exhausted than a college student during finals week.

Then one night, while I finally got some sleep, she woke me up.

“I want penne.”

Still half-asleep, I mumbled, “Okay. I’ll tell the maid to make you some tomorrow.”

“I want it now, and I want you to cook it,” she replied.

I checked my phone with a scowl. “It’s past midnight. You want penne right now?”

I turned my back to her. “No way.”

Seriously, who demanded penne in the middle of the night? She was making my head hurt.

Just then, I heard a sound that made my heart skip a beat.

“You’ve received 10,000 in your account.”

My eyes flew open. I gave her my best smile to suck up to her and sweetly asked, “What kind of penne, babe?”

She was a sweetheart whom everyone adored.

I was feeling pretty pleased until I heard her thoughts. ‘Hmph. What a money-hungry idiot.’

However, I swallowed my pride.

One day, once I had saved enough, I was going to walk out on her.

“Penne with tomato sauce,” Thea said casually.

How basic.

Nonetheless, I smiled like a bootlicker. “Coming right up.”

I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

Thank God the fridge was fully stocked. I grabbed what I needed and got cooking.

Who even craved penne at 3 a.m.?

I would never understand the rich.

She had one plate, while I inhaled two.

After I took the dishes back downstairs, I came up and caught her doing yoga. My face burned.

No wonder she had that body. She had been working out in secret.

Honestly, I was dying to get my hands on her.

She glanced at me. “Wipe your mouth.”

I coughed and wiped the corner of my lips. “Hey, you know you’re not supposed to exercise right after eating.”

She stood up and walked past me. At that moment, I heard her thoughts again.

She was thinking, ‘Greedy and lustful. What a combo.’

Something snapped in me, and I shoved her onto the bed.

Thea was stunned.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

I opened the drawer and tossed our marriage certificate in front of her. “Doing what husbands do.”