My Childhood Love Came Back Too Late

Post-exam party. Someone suggested Never Have I Ever.

Freya Gilbert went first.

"I got guaranteed admission to Northbridge. Didn't even take the college entrance exams."

The private room erupted in whoops.

The Olympiad competition in senior year — make the national team and you earned a guaranteed-admission slot.

I'd spent the better part of a year preparing, only to end up hospitalized with a bad allergic reaction right before the exam. I missed the whole thing.

I folded a finger down without a word.

A few rounds later, only Freya and I still had one finger standing.

She smiled, sweet as anything.

"I have a boyfriend!"

The room went dead silent — then blew up.

Without thinking, I looked toward Alvin in the corner.

He'd said it so many times: "Lettie, once exams are over, we'll be together."

He was leaning against the sofa, and he never once looked my way.

Someone called out: "How do you prove you have a boyfriend?"

Freya smiled, stood up, and walked over to Alvin.

She cupped his face in both hands, and right there in front of everyone, leaned down and kissed him.

He didn't push her away. He didn't even glance at me.

I lowered my head, slowly, and folded down my last finger.

I lost.

And it wasn't just the game.

——

Whistles, screams, clapping — all of it crashing together.

"Holy shit! I knew those two had something going on!"

"When did you get together?"

Freya straightened up, cheeks flushed, grinning.

"The day exams ended! We got together right away!"

Every pair of eyes locked on the new couple.

Nobody even saw me in the corner.

I watched them.

Watched Alvin lift his hand after the kiss and casually wipe the corner of his mouth.

"Come on, tell us — how'd it happen?"

"Who confessed? Details! We want details!"

The crowd kept pushing, wave after wave.

Freya snuck a shy glance at Alvin, then started talking.

"It wasn't that big a deal, really. The day exams ended, I asked him to come out…"

She told them everything.

How she'd texted Alvin. How she'd asked him out. How she'd taken his hand. How she'd said, "Let's be together."

With every new detail, the laughter in the room got louder.

With every new detail, another pair of eyes drifted toward me.

"Wait — aren't Alvin and Letitia a thing? They grew up together!"

"Says who? When has Alvin ever looked at Letitia twice?"

"Oh, Letitia — the butch one who was always throwing herself at him?"

"Right? Like anyone wants that. Alvin's not into ugly girls."

"You know that meal she had the allergic reaction to? Alvin made it for her himself — on purpose, so she'd miss the competition."

"Freya wanted that admission slot, and Letitia was the biggest threat. Had to take her out."

"Damn. Letitia was nothing but a stepping stone."

Freya put on an apologetic face, but her eyes were pure triumph.

"Letitia, I'm sorry… I was the one who brought up the guaranteed admission thing to Al, and he just — he cares about me too much, you know? He couldn't help himself. So if you're going to blame anyone, blame me…"

So everyone had known.

Everyone except me.

Or maybe I should have known all along.

Freshman year, Alvin had already started keeping his distance.

If we ran into each other at school, he'd walk away with his head down, like he didn't know me.

I chased after him once and asked. He said, "Don't give people the wrong idea."

I thought he was just shy.

Then I'd see him in the hallway chatting with Freya, smiling so hard his eyes curved.