My Boyfriend's First Love Provoked Me in Public

3

In the years I spent with Howard, it seemed like I had completely changed.

I could barely recognize myself anymore.

In a moment of enlightenment, I suddenly realized that I had been manipulated by Howard for a whole two years.

Because this relationship was unequal from the start, and I allowed myself to be manipulated by him.

Instantly, my world spun upside down, and I saw Howard for who he truly was.

Due to an accident, I became insecure, sensitive, timid, and cowardly. My parents even cut ties with me, leaving me to fend for myself.

It was during this vulnerable time that Howard entered my life, offering me fleeting affection.

At that time, I was working part-time. The sun was scorching in the summer and I was handing out flyers in a heavy doll costume.

Most people just passed by, ignoring the flyers I handed out. But Howard was different. He not only took one of my flyers but also bought me a cup of coffee.

He came to the same spot several days in a row, sitting in the coffee shop, waiting for me to finish work.

"Zoe, this job is so tough. Quit and be with me. I'll treat you well.

"Zoe, you're working every day, and you don't have time to spend with me. Quit and spend my money."

Gradually, we started dating, but I never asked him for money. I reduced my time at work and devoted more time to being with Howard.

Howard never publicly acknowledged our relationship. He portrayed me as just a close female friend.

"I don't want to make our relationship public. I don't want others gossiping about you. You know me, I hate trouble."

But now, as soon as Xanthis returned, Howard couldn't wait to openly announce her in front of everyone.

It turned out he wasn't afraid of trouble. He just didn't treat me the same way.

In the past two years, the words I heard the most were "Zoe, I truly like you. Everything I do is for your own good."

"Zoe, I'm the only one who loves you the most. Without me, you won't find anyone who loves you more than I do."

"Zoe, look at you, you have nothing. I am the only one who wants to be with you."

"Zoe, you look good in white dresses. Red doesn't suit you. Don't wear it anymore. You should also lose some weight, otherwise, you'll look a bit ridiculous."

Under Howard's manipulation, I gradually became worse and worse. My self-confidence diminished, and my image management deteriorated.

Even my own preferences were subtly influenced.

I didn't actually like the pure and clean color white, I preferred hot and lively red.

Chris clenched my hands and raised it in front of my eyes. "Look at your hands. Are they still the hands of an artist? What have they become under your mistreatment?"

My hands were wrinkled, scarred, and even calloused.

I worked as a dishwasher, handed out flyers on the streets, and worked as a cashier in a supermarket. I did all sorts of dirty and tiring jobs.

In the freezing winter, I even cooked for Howard because he didn't like eating outside. Every meal he had was prepared by me.

"Chris, I understand now. Let's go."

All of this was just a case of consenting to be mistreated.

Howard didn't truly love me, and I didn't genuinely like him either.

I willingly treated him well, allowed him to suppress and manipulate me, and believed every word he said. I deluded myself into thinking that I had climbed higher by being with him and showering him with unlimited kindness.

Being ruthlessly abandoned was what I deserved.

Throughout these three years, I kept numbing myself, believing that only by leading a miserable life could I ease the guilt I felt towards my sister.

I transferred all my guilt towards my sister onto Howard because I was responsible for her death. I was trying to atone for it.

And the person Chris liked was my twin sister, Yuri.