Loyalty And Ashes

Elizabeth

Her house was nice and a bit too colourful for an old lady; the bright green rug, coupled with the peach painting on the wall, gave the living room a characteristic childish look.

There were so many paintings on the wall which I think her granddaughter made. I had seen the young girl and her mum a few times when she came to visit, and she brought new paintings each time she came.

I stepped in as she led me to the sofa. I placed the little gift I came with on the side table while pixie rolled up on the rug close to my feet.

Plastering a fake smile on my face, I reached for the box of cookies and handed it to her. " I made this as an appreciation for helping me earlier." She took it, opened it and sniffed it.

She snapped it closed and adjusted her glasses."Then you should join us, your friend and Alma are making pancakes.”

Alma was her house help, and why did I suddenly have an idea that she was referring to Dwain? Besides, I knew he hadn't left because his car was parked outside Mrs. Hamilton's while he watched me with those predator looks.

I rolled my eyes."There's no need, I won't be staying long anyway."I made a motion to leave.

As long as Dwain was here then it's best I left. He can be a saint in the open but he's a devil behind that face of his.

She gestures for me to sit back down."Oh ..no...you should stay and at least try the cookies you made, just in case you put something in it."

I was taken aback. " Did you think I'd poison you?"

"Oh...yes, you broke my flower pot once !"

" That was an accident!"

" You threw a stone at my cat!"

" That was because it purred at me!

"That was a kind gesture!"

" Well, I ......"

Our bickering was interrupted by someone clearing his throat. I huffed and sat back down.

Dwain placed a plate filled with hot pancakes on the table and sat next to me.

I tensed immediately,what the fuck was he doing here?

"So...what were you guys arguing about ?" Alma handed a bottle of water to him, slightly bowed and quietly left.

I nonchalantly picked a cookie from the box.

" It's none of your business, don't you have work?"

"Of course I do, I'm not jobless. I just wanted to check on you."

I scoffed."Of course, you're not jobless like me, isn't that what you wanted to say!"

He ignored me, helped himself to some pancakes and also gave some to Mrs. Hamilton. She smiled at him and rained blessings on him.

Mrs. Hamilton giggled."Back in the day, my mom owned a bakery. She used to make the best breads, cakes, muffins, you name it! Our small bakery was always filled with people."

" What about now?"Dwain piped in.

Mrs. Hamilton shook her head in sadness. " We sold it, my mom got a better job, but she didn't stop baking. She only baked for the family. "

I rolled my eyes, it was time I took my leave. I noticed my cookies were pushed aside on the table, and I was the only one eating them. I had a feeling that it was going to end up in the trash can.

" What about you, Miss Elizabeth? Do you cook ?" She asked.

Dwain gave me a look, I hated this question. Of course, I knew how to cook, but the problem was that the food only tasted delicious to me. Other people who tasted my cooking left bad remarks. I couldn't get why they were unable to taste what I was tasting.

" Of course, as you can see, I made these cookies," I said with a smile on my face.

She threw a glance at the box. " I didn't perceive any fragrance."

Ok ...this was way out of line. I was getting tired of always receiving criticism for my cooking.

" You didn't taste them !"

"I don't need to ..., biscuits and sweets should have a sweet fragrance but yours doesn't."

Angrily I stood up and grabbed my cookies. " You know what !.... You can shove these pancakes up your ass."I spat and stomped out of her house.

I did not like the way my voice sounded, it sounded weak.

"Elizabeth...that's rude.Apologize!" Dwain yelled after me.

Of course, he would take her side; they shared the same view, after all. Not bothering to look back, I walked quickly to my house, hoping that he wasn't following me, but unfortunately, he was right behind me. I wasn't quick enough to shut the doors.

" Elizabeth, you should apologize!"He scolded, stepping in uninvited.

I laughed dryly . " Sorry but no ...can't do it !"

"This is your problem!” He snapped.And probably why you'll always have issues with everybody."

"So I'm the one at fault here? ...even after she insulted me."I blurted out.

He raised a finger at me. " The moment you'll learn to accept your faults ...is the moment you'll stop having issues with everybody! ...this is precisely why we drifted apart. "

I stared at him blankly, my eyes stinging. He was blaming me again for our break-up.

I forced a smile. " No...I clearly remember why we broke up. It wasn't because I blamed others, you made that clear."

I saw his expression soften, he must have realized the impact of his words. But,I know him well enough to know when he was pretending.

" You said I was a fat, naive and dependent girl who doesn't know how to take care of her body."I paused and used the back of my hand to wipe the tear that escaped my eyelids.

He reached forward, but I stepped back. " Elizabeth I...."

I raised a finger.”Don’t say a word.”

" I understand that you don't want someone who doesn't have a job and still depends on her parents. You said that I might poison you with my bad cooking, and you were ashamed of how I looked".

This time, I was already crying. My eyes were blurry because of too many tears in them.

Whatever anger he had wanted to lash at me surprisingly disappeared. " Elizabeth, please...I already apologized several times. I only wanted you to lose some weight, but you took it the wrong way."

I scoffed, he was blaming me again. " You said you were ashamed of me!"

The silence that followed proved how heartless he was.

" How could you say that to someone you claim to love? And then you…" My voice broke.

I don't want to remember that part of our relationship.

He opened his mouth but no words came out.

“ If you can't love me the way I am without seeing me as a tool.” I breathed,my chest hurting.” Then don't love me at all. Let this be the last time we see each other.”

He stayed silent....of course, he didn't have anything to say. " Please leave my house."

" This isn't the end, Elizabeth.... I'll give you some space."

And he left.

I stood still till the door shut and then walked to my room

I stood in front of the mirror. Truth be told, I was fat...from my backside, my tummy, and my boobs. Even my cheeks were chubby.

I used to hate my body and I think I still do.

I still had a good figure, so I didn't understand why Dwain saw a nasty, fat girl in me. Why he treated me like trash and some toy he could use because I couldn't meet his standard.

Why did he make me believe I was worthless? Why did he take every piece of myself from me?

I just wanted to be loved but he broke me.

Tears rolled down my face as I raised my sweatshirt to take a look at my tummy. I had a lot of belly fat, and those nasty freckles on my cheeks. I even have stretch marks.

I hated the way I looked, and I was going to change that.

How can you date someone for two years and in those two years, he never said you looked pretty?

I have to do something about my body or I won't get my revenge on him.

********

Smiling brightly under the fading moonlight, I adjusted my sweatshirt. I woke up feeling giddy and extra motivated this morning. So here I was about to go jogging and burn some calories.

I contemplated waiting a little longer until the sun came up fully, but then I would end up being all sweaty.

And my nosy neighbours wouldn't stop talking about how their fat neighbor finally decided to lose some weight after she fought with her ex-boyfriend.

Shaking my head to clear my head of any depressing thoughts, I plugged in my air pods and hit the road.

I didn't bother checking the road because who the hell would be awake at this godforsaken hour?

That was a big mistake on my part because I not only didn't see the car coming ahead of me but also didn't hear a sound because of the loud music playing on my air pods.

The next minute, I was hit and thrown out of the road.

I landed on the pavement, knocking my ankle on the concrete.

The impact wasn't that much, but I could feel a throbbing pain from my butt and ankle.

Cursing, I squeezed my ankle, trying to relieve the pain. Whoever it was that was driving the freaking car came and stood over me. From the silhouette, I could tell it was a man.

" Are you fucking blind," I screamed at him, my eyes beginning to water.

He just stood there dressed in a cop uniform staring down at me like I was a lost cat, not even bothering to help me up.

The first ray of the sun escaped the clouds, shining down and reflecting on the earth. The first features of his face I took note of were those ocean eyes and blonde hair. My eyes flew to the imprinted name on his uniform - Eren Scott.

If I weren't in pain right now, I would take my time to appreciate God's creation. He was goddamn beautiful!

His sleeves were rolled up to his elbow so where the hell did his tattoos go ?