Love's Fallen Petal, Drifting In the Wind of Despair

Kaden sighed, "Rachel, I don't know when it happened, but I've stopped wanting to come home and I don't see you the way I used to."

I looked at him, feeling a growing sense of alienation.

When do we both change so much?

"To be honest," Kaden continued, "I'm fed up. Rachel, I'm tired of you only seeing me in your world. I'm tired of your lack of self. Everything you do just irritates me. You're not the person you used to be. Maybe we should take a break; it'd be better for both of us."

"Is this all that's left for us to say?" I smashed the wine glass on the floor, shards scattering and wine spilling like our shattered love.

Kaden sneered. "What did you expect? Rachel, your love is too heavy for me. I've tried to placate you, but if you're going to keep making a scene, I have nothing more to say."

"This is your idea of placating me?"

Kaden chuckled twice, clearly dismissing my words. After he left, I bent down to pick up the shards, cutting my hands in the process.

Lily Barton came over with gloves and was startled by the sight of me. "Rachel, are you okay?" She handed me a tissue and went to get the first aid kit. "Don't do anything rash. You…"

I looked at the cuts from the glass. "Lily, you're misunderstanding. I didn't mean to do anything drastic. I just… I just wanted to clean up the mess."

Lily, who had been with me since the Parker family, was one of the few who called me Rachel rather than Mrs. Wilson. It was a reminder of how things used to be. Kaden used to call me Rachel, too, but now he was someone else entirely, and we couldn't go back.

Kaden hadn't been home for half a month. He'd been staying at the office or elsewhere, never coming back. Seeing me in such a state, my friend Rebecca Johnson dragged me away on a trip.

We booked tickets to visit a friend's orchard. It was huge and filled with pear trees. I climbed up and picked a bunch of fruit, following Rebecca's lead.

In the car, Rebecca glanced at me. "Are these for Kaden?"

I stayed silent, afraid of her reaction.

When we got back to Oakland, I went to Kaden's office.

Standing outside the building, I called him. "I went to a friend's orchard a few days ago. They had a lot of sand pear trees, and I picked a bunch. I thought you might like to try them. The staff said you haven't been home lately and are probably busy, so I won't come up. I'll have the receptionist send them up. Come home when you're done."

I added softly, "Don't you miss me?"

I knew Kaden was more responsive to a softer approach, and I admit I was trying to butter him up.

His assistant, Zach Stone, told me that Kaden and his female secretary were nothing more than a show—Kaden was just trying to get under my skin.

I wasn't even sure what I was doing, only that I wondered if there was still a chance for us to make things right.

I took one more step forward—that was all I could do.

Rebecca followed me home, frustrated. "Rachel, has this guy saved your life or something? Can't you take a page from my book and be a bit more carefree?"

The living room lights were dimmed to the lowest setting, casting a somewhat yellow hue over the space.

I poured myself a glass of peach wine and downed it in one gulp. "We're both in the same boat, Rebecca. You're not so carefree either. You and that guy have been in contact, don't think I don't know."

I sighed, feeling a sense of melancholy.

"It's been ten years, and you're still entangled. Love unrequited, and hate has taken root. Rebecca, do you think we'll end up like you?"

Rebecca remained silent.

I received an audio message from Zach.

In the audio, Megan's voice carried a hint of sarcasm: "What are these? Sand fruits? Aren't those crabapples? Why such a rustic name?"

"What does it matter what she calls them? Get out, and don't come in without my permission in the future."

"Mr. Wilson, I..."

"Get out!"

I closed the audio and took a sip of water.

I couldn't quite figure out what Kaden's feelings for me were, but I realized that I didn't seem to love him as much as I once did.

What remained was just a sense of reluctance to give up.

Later in the evening, Kaden returned. He fell silent for a moment before standing in front of me, blocking my view of the TV.

"Rachel, there's really nothing between Megan and me. From start to finish, it's only been you. Those harsh words I said before, there was some pettiness in them..." He tried to explain, appearing as awkward as he had been in the beginning.

Despite the warm atmosphere, I couldn't help but ask probing questions.

"You're mine, but is your heart also mine, and mine only?"

Kaden's smile faded visibly.

"Kaden, will you always be with me?" I pressed.

I'd always been this way, needing a definite answer from everyone.

I had to ask repeatedly to feel a little sense of security.

"Maybe not," Kaden looked at me.

"Why can't you just lie to me?"

"The truth might be hard to hear, but it's real."

"But I want to be with you until the end."

"It's time for bed."

I let out a bitter laugh. "Kaden, you say you love me, but why are you so ambiguous with your relationship with other women?"

Kaden leaned down to kiss me. "Rachel, just drop it."

My heart was filled with bitterness.

"You say you love me, but why can't you just have me?"

Kaden smiled. "Rachel, you know I don't like it when people harp on the same topic."

I laughed until tears came to my eyes.

I thought, What is Kaden thinking now?

He is probably thinking about his first love.

But where is his first love now?

Kaden wiped away my tears. "Come on, just drop it. I'm tired."