Love Yourself More Than Your Daughter

I worked three jobs every day, pouring my heart and soul into my daughter's ballet training so she could become the youngest principal dancer.

When she won international awards and basked in the glory, she turned to the camera and accused me of having a toxic grip on her life.

"My mom is a monster. Ever since I was little, she wouldn't let me eat enough, and she would either hit me or scold me.

"She controlled who I could be friends with and ruined my relationships. I'm deeply traumatized, and there were so many times I wanted to end it all.

"Now, I can finally break free from her."

It was then I realized that the daughter I cherished so much actually hated me to the core.

The internet tore me apart, and I lost my job and health. In the end, I was pushed into oncoming traffic by my daughter's fans.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the moment when my daughter cried and said she didn't want to dance anymore.

I smiled softly. "Okay."

I watched as my daughter quit the dance team, started dating that blonde kid, and pursued the freedom she craved.

But, she regretted it.

1

"Mom, I don't want to dance anymore. So what if I gained seven pounds? The teacher made me do 100 jumping jacks!

"Please, just let me be free.

"If you still make me go, I'll... I'll just end it all!"

When my daughter, Ruby Allen, started whining before me, I could hardly believe it. I had been reborn.

The gut-wrenching pain of being crushed under those wheels was still fresh in my mind. My body trembled uncontrollably.

In my past life, I died with so much unresolved.

I had married the wrong man, Samuel Allen, a real scumbag.

After he cheated, I was left alone to raise Ruby.

When Ruby was five, she would watch the kids in ballet class with envy. She said her dream was to dance ballet.

I enrolled her in a training class, and the teacher immediately recognized her talent.

To give her a better future, I worked hard to afford her art lessons, even though I was just an average office worker.

I worked three jobs daily, not only covering her expensive training fees but also buying her the best dancewear.

Dancers have to maintain strict control over their weight.

To help her, I carefully prepared balanced meals that would fill her up while keeping her in shape.

I believed I was giving my all to my daughter. I also sternly warned her that the path of art is full of challenges.

I told her that if she didn't work hard, others would surpass her.

So, when I found a love letter in her school bag, I was furious.

That blonde kid had dropped out of middle school. He was all talk, had a violent streak, and even sent someone to the hospital once.

How could I let my beloved daughter fall into this trap?

I confronted the boy's parents and warned them that if he bothered my daughter again, I'd call the police.

The boy finally stopped pestering her, and my daughter seemed to have refocused.

I was relieved when she started winning more and more awards and got accepted into a prestigious art school.

She even joined the top dance company in the country and became the youngest principal dancer.

When she won that international award and gave her interview, I was so overwhelmed with pride that I cried.

She had finally achieved her dream, and I was so proud of her.

But I never expected her to turn to the microphone and accuse me of controlling her life.

She said that after her dad and I divorced, I became mentally unstable.

She claimed I had no life of my own and pinned all my hopes on her.

She said I wouldn't let her contact her father, making her childhood incredibly lonely.

She said I forced her to study ballet out of vanity and didn't care that she wasn't interested in it at all.

She said I never let her eat enough, and now she suffers from a severe stomach condition.

She claimed I wouldn't let her have friends, that I broke up her relationships, and that now she's terrified of love.

She even said I made her stand naked in front of me every day just to check if she had gained weight.

She said I didn't treat her like a daughter or even like a human being.

She accused me of torturing and conditioning her just so I could cash in on her fame and spend her hard-earned money.

"I'm only 25! I just really want to have a Western dinner once. I want to go shopping and study like a normal person… Mom, why did you have to treat me like this?"

When she cried into the camera, I couldn't believe it. The daughter I treasured was smearing me like this.

She was the one who said she wanted to dance ballet. I never made her strip down for inspections!

It was her father who didn't want to see her. I did everything I could to maintain the illusion of fatherly love!

How did everything end up being my fault?

2

I was too angry to speak. The next moment, my phone was blowing up.

Everyone was cursing me out, calling me heartless, telling me to just die already.

I was fired too. I lost my job.

Even then, they weren't satisfied.

There were always people waiting outside my apartment. The moment I stepped out, they'd throw rotten eggs at me.

Even when I stayed in, they'd pound on the doors and windows, keeping me up all night.

My hair fell out in clumps. I looked like a ghost of my former self.

They saw themselves as justice warriors, posting videos of my torment online. The applause from the crowd was deafening.

My daughter, who had already blocked me, even liked those posts. It fueled their frenzy even more.

I tried calling the police, but there were too many people. The cops couldn't do anything.

Eventually, I was so hungry I had to go out to buy groceries. That's when someone pushed me into oncoming traffic.

I heard someone curse, "You evil witch, you ruined Ruby's life. Why don't you just die already!"

That's how I died. I was only 48.

My spirit hovered above, watching as Ruby signed a forgiveness letter pardoning the person who killed me.

I saw Ruby thriving, using her tragic yet strong persona to launch a career in the entertainment industry.

She lived in a mansion, drove a luxury car, and dumped my ashes into a dirty canal.

Her face twisted into a cruel smile. "Mom, this is what you get for controlling me.

"Sure, you're dead now, but I lost my youth and freedom! You brought this on yourself!"

Fine. So this is the daughter I loved my whole life!

Now that I have a second chance, I'll never pour my heart into raising this ungrateful child again.

I'll be the one to sever this mother-daughter bond myself!

I thought to myself as I gently said to Ruby, "Alright."

3

Before Ruby could react, I called Hailey from the training center.

"Hi, Ms. Hall. Sorry, there's been some issues at home, so Ruby won't be continuing her lessons with you.

"Yes, Ruby said she doesn't like dancing anymore. She even mentioned... you know, suicide. I don't want to push her...

"Also, you were a bit hard on her. Gaining just seven pounds, then making her do all those jumping jacks... It made her resentful.

"Thanks for understanding."

Hailey kept trying to persuade me not to withdraw Ruby.

When I mentioned that the exercises she made Ruby do after gaining weight caused her to resist, Hailey went silent.

I knew then that Hailey was angry.

Hailey was the best teacher in town, highly skilled and very strict.

She believed that hard work and talent were equally important. Without strong willpower, you shouldn't pursue ballet.

She was strict with the kids, weighing them at every class.

If any of the kids gained weight, she would increase their exercise, both to help them slim down and to instill habits for maintaining their figure.

"If you don't want to go pro, then by all means, do what makes you comfortable. But if you want to achieve your dreams, only discipline can bring freedom."

Hailey had always said that if you chose her as a teacher, you must trust her.

She had seen many talented students fall by the wayside and knew this path was littered with quitters.

Her time was limited, and she wouldn't waste a second on students who lacked determination.

When I told her what Ruby had said, she stayed silent for a while and didn't try to convince me otherwise.

After hanging up, I smiled at Ruby.

I thought Ruby would be happy. Instead, she rushed at me. "Mom, why did you tell Ms. Hall?!"

Her face was filled with panic, her eyes full of resentment. It caught me off guard.

After all, in my past life, she always said she didn't want to learn ballet, that it made her miserable.

Seeing Ruby's beautiful face so close, I really wanted to slap her and ask why she was so heartless!

But now wasn't the time.

I clenched my fist tightly and calmly said, "Didn't you say you didn't want to learn anymore and even talked about suicide? Ruby, nothing is more important than your health."

Ruby's face flushed, then turned pale. After a moment, she finally said, "But the school's arts performance is coming up. Wouldn't it be a shame to quit now?"

She cautiously looked at me. "Maybe… I could just go on a little trip to clear my head, and then that's it."

In my past life, Ruby had shone at the school's arts performance.

She became the dream girl of countless boys and caught the eye of the head of the dance department at Manvelle University. From then on, everything went smoothly for her.

Suddenly, I understood.

She wanted the spotlight again. She had just used the threat of suicide to get me to agree to her little trip.

She had always been a selfish, ungrateful brat.

Realizing this, I felt a deep chill in my heart.

I gently said, "Ruby, you're my precious daughter. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Dancing is hard, so take a break. I support you. Will five hundred be enough?"

I didn't even ask where she planned to go.

I knew she was going to sneak off and meet that troublemaker.

"Are you serious?" Ruby could hardly believe her ears.

I smiled.

When I handed her the money, Ruby was over the moon.

Watching her cheer and jump for joy, my heart felt cold.

So that's all she wanted. It was that simple.

She could have just told me she wanted to quit and live an ordinary life. Instead, she chose to lie.

She wanted the spotlight but also demanded freedom.

There's no such thing as having it all.

Luckily, it's not too late.

4

After Ruby had gone on her trip, I headed to the sales office and bought an apartment.

In my past life, I saved every penny to pay for Ruby's expensive lessons, living in a rented apartment for years.

I missed the chance to buy a place. When property prices soared, I couldn't afford to enter the market.

This time, I went to a development in the eastern part of the city.

I knew it was still pretty remote, but it would become a prime development area in the future.

I took out the 300,000 dollars I had painstakingly saved and put down a deposit.

Then, I went to the mall, treated myself to a steak dinner, and got a beauty treatment.

The masseuse's touch was incredibly soothing.

I was no longer that poor woman, worn out by life, who gave everything to her daughter and died with nothing left.

I was still myself.

I looked at my radiant reflection in the mirror and suddenly burst into tears.

I was about to head home when Samuel suddenly contacted me.

I answered the call, and Samuel immediately started berating me, "Caroline, what's going on? Why didn't you send Ruby to her training class?"

It seemed he already knew what was going on.

But how did he find out?

I thought for a moment, then deliberately asked, "Did Ruby tell you?"

Samuel was silent for a while, ignoring my question and giving orders. "She doesn't know better, but don't you? Get her back to class."

"Ruby said she doesn't want to go. If we push her, she'll kill herself. She's our only daughter, and her health is more important than anything."

Samuel raised his voice. "Suicide? Only a housewife like you would fall for that nonsense! She's just trying to scare you. Don't you get it? This arts performance is a big deal. My boss is going to be there as a guest presenter, and I already told him Ruby would be performing! If you mess up my promotion, just wait and see what I'll do to you!"

"Samuel, Ruby is our daughter, not a tool for your promotion!"

I screamed this at the top of my lungs, then calmly stopped the recording.

Since Samuel cheated and we got divorced, our relationship had been terrible.

He always claimed his business was struggling, so he wouldn't pay the agreed child support.

I never told Ruby about it because I didn't want her to feel hurt.

Who would've thought Ruby would believe I was some kind of psycho, deliberately keeping her from her father?

Ruby put all her resentment on me while holding onto fantasies about Samuel.

After I died, she bought Samuel a car and a house, getting cozy with his mistress while basking in their so-called "family love."

"Huh, not in this life. I won't keep anything from her this time.

I'm curious to see how their deep father-daughter bond plays out."

5

Ruby came back three days later.

She looked exhausted but in great spirits, likely from spending time with that blonde kid.

When she saw me, she actually looked a bit guilty.

She pouted, saying she felt much better now and was ready to go back to school, as if I'd been forcing her to go all along.

"Mom, I'm hungry," Ruby said, holding her stomach. "Can I have some fried chicken?"

She looked timid, like asking for fried chicken might get her slapped.

In my past life, she'd asked me this in front of others several times, and I always said, "No."

Back then, I didn't notice the shocked looks from others, which later became key evidence for her smear campaign against me.

But Ruby had a tendency to gain weight and a love for snacks. How could she manage her figure without strict control?

Some dancers maintained their figures by eating only vegetables, but I felt sorry for her and didn't want to go that route.

I carefully researched balanced meals that were healthy and filling. A clean diet kept her slim and her skin clear.

Ruby thought I was abusing her by not taking her out to eat. She didn't realize the steaks and organic corn I bought cost more than plenty of fried chicken meals.

In this life, I'm not playing that fool's role again.

"Of course, you can," I said.

Ruby couldn't believe it. "Really?"

"Really. I know you don't like my cooking. From now on, I'll just give you money, and you can buy whatever you want."

"Mom, you're the best!"

Ruby happily ran to her room and quickly ordered herself a large serving of fried chicken.

She devoured it, not even thinking to offer me a piece or ask if I wanted any.

In my past life, she was the same, taking everything I did for granted.

She even ended up questioning me, "Why do you control me? Isn't it because you're useless? If not, why don't you focus on yourself?"

She wasn't wrong.

Instead of putting all my hopes on my child, I should focus on improving myself.

With that in mind, I headed to work.

The company I worked for was a leader in the industry.

My designs were well-liked by my supervisor, but sales paid better. To earn more money, I asked to be transferred to sales.

My income did increase, but so did the daily pressure.

I wasn't cut out for sales, and Ruby was always interrupting me with her needs.

I started making mistakes because I couldn't focus on work, and it wasn't long before I got fired.

Afterward, I tried to find a job that allowed me to pick Ruby up from school, but it was nearly impossible. I ended up taking on odd jobs instead.

To make ends meet, I worked three jobs a day, completely worn out.

At some point, though, times changed.

Many of my former design colleagues seized the opportunities of the internet age, becoming famous. Some even launched their own brands.

While they were reaping the rewards of fame and fortune, I was driving a cab at midnight, just to save up for Ruby's ballet costumes.

Ruby gave up on me because I had given up on myself first.

In this life, I've learned that loving myself is more important than loving my daughter.

With that in mind, I arrived at the office.

My supervisor, Iris Cooper, saw me and asked coolly, "What are you doing here? Didn't we agree you'd start in the sales department next week?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cooper. I wasn't thinking clearly before. I've reconsidered, and I'd like to stay in my current position."

Iris was highly skilled and had always looked out for me.

She had warned me to stick to my work schedule and not be late or leave early to pick up Ruby. But I had let her down again and again.

Because of this, she didn't give me the chance to work on many projects.

When she heard what I said, Iris softened but was still skeptical. "Are you sure about this? You don't need to take care of your daughter anymore?"

"Yes, I'm sure. My daughter is grown up now. It's time I started living for myself."

"I hope you mean it."

I knew Iris didn't fully trust me yet. I'd have to prove myself through my actions going forward.

So, I threw myself into my work.

I put all my energy into my job and naturally stopped worrying about picking Ruby up.

Ruby, who couldn't wait to go on dates with that troublemaker, was more than happy with this arrangement.

She and that boy frequently ate all sorts of junk food, drinking multiple cups of juice daily. She was visibly gaining weight.

One day, she grabbed the fat on her waist and hesitantly asked, "Mom, am I getting fat?"