Love Me Again

FREYA

My heart broke into tiny pieces all over again as I stared at the empty closet. I had packed all my clothes into my box and now this room felt like a broken portrait of me and Roy.

It was like a shadow of what we had, a reminder that Roy would never value me as much as he valued Raina. I let out a small sigh and stared around the room. Who knew packing and leaving would be so hard?

Wiping off my tears, I grabbed my box and walked out of the house without a second glance. As I strolled downstairs to meet the Uber driver, my phone rang.

I frowned when I saw it was Ivan. It seems he still had a lot to say after the last time he called me.

“Don’t hang up, Freya,” he said the moment I picked up the call.

I sighed and sat down on the stairs, “What do you want?”

“I know you're upset but Roy is busy, he’ll be with you soon. Don't be angry,” Ivan said.

I scoffed, “I shouldn’t be angry. He canceled our wedding without even asking me! He didn't consider how I would feel.”

“I know you're upset, Freya, but I promise Roy will make it up to you. He's just very busy and he’ll soon come to you.”

“I don't need him to make it up to me any longer, Ivan, he can go ahead and keep taking care of Raina,” I snapped.

“Why do you sound like that, Freya?” Ivan asked, “Don’t do anything stupid, alright? Roy will be with you soon.”

“I’m done waiting around, Ivan, it’s time for me to love myself and always choose me since that's what Roy can't do.”

I hung up the phone without giving him any chance to reply then I walked out of the house. I dragged my box toward the car as the Uber driver helped me load it up.

My heart was heavy as the car drove off from the neighborhood but I bit back my cheeks to keep the tears at bay.

I know I should call Sarah and inform her that I've left her grandson but I was too weak to do that right now. All the memories I shared with Roy for the past five years flashed before my eyes and I let out a bitter smile.

The car pulled up in front of my old studio apartment and I dragged my box inside. My box felt lighter than the sadness in my mind.

I let out a sigh as I sat down in my old apartment. I had lived here before Roy asked me to move in with him. I could still recall how happy I had been when he asked me.

He had helped me pack and a few months after that he proposed to me. I had looked forward to a wonderful wedding. But Raina had to ruin it.

I could still remember how great my life had been with Roy before Raina entered the picture six months ago. She had used her father’s death as an excuse to get Roy to come to her aid every time. Especially when she asked him to marry her and he refused.

Despite Roy’s refusal, he couldn't refuse her request. For six months I have shared Roy with Raina as he was always traveling to assist her in the business, at home, when she had a minor accident abroad and now she's had another one coming to my wedding!

I had hoped that I would have just a day with Roy without Raina ruining and interrupting things but she's always around, sneaking and manipulating everything.

My phone beeped and a text message from Roy popped up.

‘We need to see.’

I scoffed, if he thinks a single message would solve what he's ruined then he's got another thing coming.

My phone rang immediately and I sighed when I saw it was Roy. I ignored it until it rang for the third time.

I picked it up, “What do you want?”

“Baby, we need to talk. I know you're angry but I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you,” Roy’s voice filtered into the phone.

I sighed, I longed to hear him say these words but I knew he would always run back to Raina at the slightest worry so I was done.

“Never mind, Roy, you can focus on Raina,” I said with a resigned sigh.

“Why are you sounding like this, Freya? I thought you understood. Especially since you were with me when Raina’s family lawyer delivered the letter,” Roy sounded exasperated.

“A letter! That's what has been controlling our lives for the past six months. Raina is more important to you than I am. Haven't you found it weird that she's always hurt or needs you when we have something important going on?”

“What do you mean, Freya? Are you trying to say Raina is faking all these things? You know that's not possible. You know my history with Raina and she –”

“Right, your history!” I scoffed, interrupting him, “That’s why I’m the odd one out.”

“I didn't mean it like that, Freya, I'm sorry. Let me make things right,” he sighed.

“That’s what you keep saying and yet you don't do it!” I snapped.

“What do you want me to do, Freya? Disregard a dead man’s wishes after everything he's done for my family? You know I'm more honorable than that.”

I scoffed, “Right. Because your responsibilities and honor are more important than our relationship. I understand but it doesn't stop me from feeling neglected.”

“I’m sorry, baby. You know I love you, just give me a chance to make it up to you. We can fix this.”

I sighed, “I don't know anything anymore, Roy. I just want my peace of mind and I’m not getting it with Raina hanging around you.”

Without waiting for him to reply, I hung up the call. He called twice and I refused to pick him up. Instead, I switched off my phone.

Today I was choosing my sanity over everything else. I may love Roy but I wasn't going to let that love consume me and make me a shadow of myself.