Love Him, Die For Him

It was close to midnight when Benjamin finally came home.

He pushed the door open and entered. When he saw me sitting on the couch staring blankly into space, he seemed a little surprised.

"Cherilyn, why haven't you gone to bed yet?"

I turned to face him with my tear-streaked cheeks.

I raised my phone and replied, my voice trembling, "I got a call from the hospital today."

I paused, then continued, "Whatever the doctor said about you..." My voice faltered. "Is it true, Benjamin?"

Before I finished my sentence, large teardrops rolled down my cheeks again.

Stunned at that sight, Benjamin immediately walked up to me. He wrapped his arms around me gently, patting my shoulder lightly.

"Don't cry, my love. I'm okay."

Perhaps guilt was eating at him, but his voice carried a faint tremor.

"Life and death are inevitable... Maybe I used up all my luck meeting you in this lifetime, and now it's time to pay it back.

"Being with you has left me with no regrets. Please don't be too sad—I just... I don't want you to have to go through this pain again."

What an act.

To think that he could hurt me and still have the audacity to feign concern. I couldn't help but wonder how much of his so-called love for me was genuine.

His tone sounded so cold and detached when he plotted with his friends to orchestrate my death.

But here he was, holding me tightly in his arms. The warmth of his embrace was such a stark contrast.

Memories of our time together played out in my mind, but every image of Benjamin had morphed into a venomous snake. It coiled itself tightly around my neck, as if intending to choke the life out of me.

A desperate voice screamed inside my head, "Now's the time—confront him and leave."

But before I could begin, his worried voice flowed into my ear and interrupted my thoughts. "Cherilyn, why aren't you saying anything? Are you upset?"

I snickered to myself. How ironic. Wasn't this exactly what he wanted?

I pushed him away abruptly and stared straight into his eyes.

"You're not actually sick, are you?"

As soon as the question was asked, I hoped with all my heart that he would just confess. I hoped he could admit his resentment and end things between us. We could then pretend none of this ever happened.

Yet, Benjamin displayed not a single sign of hesitation. He put on a sorrowful expression immediately.

"Cherilyn, how could I ever lie to you? I wanted to run to you the day I was diagnosed. But I was too afraid that you would be heartbroken. That's why I thought it would be best to distance myself from you slowly. I was hoping to fade out of your life before finally breaking up.

"I just didn't want to drag you down..."

Liar.

Doctors were bound by the law and their professional duty to maintain patient confidentiality. They weren't allowed to contact a patient's family without consent. The fact that the doctor had my phone number proved that it was Benjamin who orchestrated the whole act.

"But this past month, all I could think of was you. Now, standing at the edge of my life, I realize I'm not as selfless or noble as I thought. To let go of you is way more difficult than I thought.

"I love you. I want to experience life with you until the very end. Please, I hope you forgive me for my cowardice and selfishness."

I watched him, my expression blank.

Since the very beginning, this man had only ever cared about his pride.

Why bother feeding me these sweet lies?

I pinched myself back into reality and forced a smile. Leaning forward, I wrapped my arms tightly around him.

"Don't say things like that. Of course, I would never leave you. Let's work with the hospital to fight this together. I'm sure you will recover.

"And if worse comes to worst," I added softly. "I'm willing to die with you."

For a split second, Benjamin's hands stiffened before he rested them on my shoulders.

Ultimately, he had chosen to conceal the truth from me.

Since he was so determined for my life, he shouldn't blame me for being ruthless in return.