LOVE BURIED WITH MY SON

I let out my tears while hugging tightly on Jeremy’s photo. Two days had already passed since the day my son died. I still couldn’t accept the fact that he left before I could reach the hospital that day. I was bawling my eyes as I jumped off the taxi to see my son but it was already too late.

The funeral ended and there was still no news from David. I tried calling him once before the funeral but the call wouldn’t get through. He was still blocking me… and probably enjoying his time fooling around with Karen.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and slowly placed the flowers I prepared on Jeremy’s grave. I brushed my trembling hands against it while muttering his name.

“Oh… Sweetheart. I hope you’re in a good place now,” I whispered, shutting my eyes.

The guilt I felt worsened by the day for failing to help my son. I did all I could but it didn’t change my son’s fate. How ironic that he died because there was no doctor in the best hospital who could operate on him when his father was the owner of the hospital. If only David listened to me… But it was already too late… Jeremy was gone and he was never coming back.

I opened my eyes and stared at his smiling photo. I sat down in front of his grave and recalled the days before the SAT—before he died. Jeremy was happily talking to me about his plan on getting into NYU just like his father. David graduated from NYU and Jeremy wished to be alumnus with him in the future.

My loving son even promised he would do his best to make his father proud. He also hoped that doing this would lessen my arguments with David. Nobody predicted that the day of the exam would be the last day Jeremy would be with us.

I could blame David forever but this wouldn’t bring Jeremy back. However, I still wanted him to realize the pain I was feeling the moment I heard the news that my son had passed away.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry,” I sobbed on his grave.

Jeremy was the only one on my side. And with him gone, I felt alone and hopeless.

After hours of crying, my legs fell asleep and I could barely stand up. I hugged Jeremy’s urn along with his photo and walked to the taxi. David had dozens of cars but he never allowed me to drive any of them. I had no choice but to use public transportation.

I just settled down in my seat when my phone rang. Speaking of the devil, it was David.

“Cynthia, where are you? Ah, never mind. You remember what’s today, right? It’s my mother’s 70th birthday. I need you and Jeremy to come to the villa to celebrate with them,” he ordered with no hint of interest about what was going on with his family when he wasn’t around.

“About that… Can I come late? I still have something to do—”

“Come on time! Are you trying to embarrass me in my family? If you come late, don’t even think of coming at all. I’ll bring Karen with me anyway,” he grumbled after cutting my sentence off.

“David… I can’t. Today, your son…” I couldn’t finish my sentence properly when I remembered about Jeremy’s funeral. I was the only one who came. There was no sign of his father and other family members, just me. And yet David wanted me to come to his mother’s birthday to celebrate?

He had no idea at all. But it’s not my fault that he didn’t know about Jeremy. I did my part trying to inform him and he was the one who was unwilling to listen.

“Just tell me if you can’t come. Perhaps Jeremy will be coming so don’t forget to tell him. His grandma would like to see him,” David insisted in a firm voice.

I took a deep breath and sighed. Wiping my tears, I nodded my head as I replied. “I got it. We will be there. We’ll come.”

David scoffed from the other line upon hearing my response. “Good,” he said and hung up.

“Your grandma wants to see you, sweetheart,” I whispered and hugged the urn even tighter.