Love Blooms After the Fireworks

After getting back together with Xavier, I discovered he had a second X account. On this account, he followed only one person—Becca.

On Becca’s X account, she had documented everything about her and Xavier over the past three years, though she had hidden specific details about them.

The most recent post from Becca was updated a week ago: “His old-love is back. I, as a mere replacement should give up. I’ll walk away.”

The account showed that on the day Becca posted this, Xavier’s secondary account had logged in and out hundreds of times. I closed the X page, feeling a painful swelling in my heart. What was Xavier thinking with each login and logout, repeatedly viewing Becca’s post? Was he thinking about the ten years we spent together, or the last three years he spent with Becca?

Half a month after my return, we attended an alumni gathering where Becca was also present. As soon as Xavier spotted her, his entire demeanor shifted. Becca’s eyes were swollen, her nose red and puffy. When a concerned classmate asked her what was wrong, Becca cast a furtive glance at Xavier and, with a shaky voice, replied, “It’s nothing. It’s just my birthday today and I’ve been waiting for someone who never showed up.”

Suddenly, the clatter of a dropped utensil against a plate shattered the silence in the room. A sharp pain shot through my chest, like a multitude of fine needles piercing my heart. I looked at Xavier, seeking an explanation.

Xavier turned his head towards me and whispered softly in my ear. “I didn't know anything. I told that there’s nothing between us anymore. You’re the only one I love, Silvia.”

To everyone in room, Xavier’s explanation seemed like a public display of affection. The strong love that remain between us.

“Yeah, we all know that, man,” a guy teased, his tone light but edged with sincerity. He turned to me and added, “Silvia, you know Xavier was practically losing his mind after you left. He was a mess. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d ended up in a mental institution. Thank goodness you’re back.”

“Yeah,” a woman chimed in. “Who hasn’t heard about the infamous couple from campus? You two would probably have kids by now if you hadn’t disappeared into thin air.” That woman was Carmen.

As I listened to the laughter and jokes around the table, I noticed Becca’s face growing increasingly pale. She downed one glass of wine after another, as if trying to drown her discomfort. Xavier held my hand, smiling at everyone, but his occasional glances towards Becca were full of pity.

It had been five years since our graduation and the evening was filled with nostalgia as we indulged in college-era games: beer pong, cards and a lively round of Truth or Dare.

When it was Xavier’s turn, he drew the Truth card and was asked, “Xavier, have you ever loved anyone else besides Silvia in your life?”

Xavier and I were known as a couple that everyone in our campus recognized. The room fell silent and all eyes turned to Xavier, including mine. His answer held the weight of a decision that might determine whether I should reveal my current condition to him and entrust him with the most important person in my life.

Xavier paused, his gaze dropping as he considered his response. Though it was only a second or two, it felt like an eternity to me. He finally looked up and said, “Of course not. Silvia is the only woman I’ve ever loved and I’ve vowed long ago to marry her.”

Everyone burst into laughter. Amidst the laughter, Becca’s face turned ashen.

It was my turn to draw Truth in the next round. Following the usual rules, the master game, Rex asked me, “Silvia, is Xavier the most important person in your life?”

The crowd cheered again, “Seriously, Rex? What kind of question is that? You’re asking the obvious, adding one point to them.” 

Despite the light-hearted reactions, everyone’s attention was on me. Xavier, too, looked at me with a mix of nervousness and hope. The three years we had spent apart had left us both uncertain about our place in each other’s hearts. Were we still the most important people in each other's lives, or had time and distance changed that?