Losing Me, Memory by Memory

I grew to like Fabian and purposely got closer to him. When I noticed how frugal he was, I often found ways to bring him food. From the early days of passionate romance to marriage, I was always the one making compromises for him.

His mother, Donna Gibson, fell seriously ill after we got married. Fabian was busy preparing for his PhD qualifying exams, so I had no choice but to quit my job and stay home to care for Donna.

As someone who never did any housework, I ended up personally caring for Donna until she passed away.

To help him focus on work, I took on all the responsibilities at home. I even willingly gave up having two children, all because he thought it was the wrong time to start a family. I also wanted nothing more than to be a supportive wife.

I didn't know when he started to grow tired of me.

When I thought of the sweet and happy moments we once shared, there was an unbearable pain in my chest.

The beautiful memories I once cherished had become obstacles in Fabian's quest to find true love.

At dawn, I finally made a difficult decision.

I buried myself under the warm covers and fell into a deep sleep. When I opened my eyes again, the smell from the kitchen woke me up.

I cleared my head and stepped out of my room. I was shocked to see Fabian clumsily carrying freshly made soup, trying to pour it into an insulated container.

He awkwardly explained when he saw me, "My colleagues at the lab were teasing me, telling me to show off my cooking skills, so I took some time to come home and make soup. Don't read too much into it."

I looked down at his soft, delicate hands, and a wave of sadness washed over me. A doctor's hands were as important as a pianist's. Over the past few years, I had never let him do any housework. But now, he was willing to do something like this for Yelena.

Noticing my silence, he hesitated before pouring a bowl of soup and placing it in front of me. Then, he took a bottle of medicine out of his pocket. He pushed it toward my hand and said, "I just brought this back. Take it with the soup. It'll help with absorption."

I stared at the label on the bottle that read "vitamins", and a chill ran through me. The moment I held the bottle, I had a sudden urge to shout and ask why he had to hurt and deceive me.

But in the end, I just took a long look at him. Without hesitation, I opened the bottle and took one pill, then swallowed it. I raised the bowl and drank the soup in one go.

If he had shown hesitation at any point, I would've been willing to give him another chance. But I only saw the eagerness in his eyes when I took the pill.

My heart had reached its breaking point, and only an empty loneliness remained.

…

For the next month, I took the drug every day as Fabian instructed and never missed a dose.

He continued to leave early and come home late. The happiness of being in a new romance always showed on his face.

My memory began to fade slowly. It didn't disappear all at once. It started with forgetting our wedding anniversary. On the day itself, Fabian had arranged for a bouquet and a gown to be delivered to me, which was very unlike him.

He called and said, "I've booked the restaurant for dinner together, and that gown is for you. Dress up nicely. Many of my colleagues at the lab will be joining too."

"Is today a special day? Did your lab have a new breakthrough?" I asked, confused.

He paused noticeably on the phone. When he spoke again, he sounded a little disappointed. "Did you forget so soon? It's nothing. Just remember to come on time, alright?"

As my memory grew fuzzy, my awareness also dulled. I decided not to think about anything else.

After putting on my makeup, I showed up on time. When I arrived at the venue, everyone looked at me, then at Yelena. She was dressed to the nines.

The expressions on the rest were somewhat unreadable.

I smiled gently and said, "Hello, everyone. Sorry to interrupt your gathering. Please don't mind me. Do enjoy yourselves."

Then, I found a seat on my own and sat down.

Fabian walked over to me and asked tentatively, "Anya, have you felt unwell since taking the vitamins?"