Lose Me Once, and You'll Regret it Forever

Alexandra

I never thought betrayal would taste like ash in my mouth. I sat at our kitchen table, the sunlight streaming through the window, casting long shadows. I stared at the half-empty cup of coffee, the bitterness mirroring my thoughts.

Leaving Aidan behind wasn’t enough. I wanted to disappear completely, like a ghost in the fog. I wanted to hurt him just as much as he hurt me, so I had to craft my plan carefully. I wanted a new identity, a fresh start. I couldn’t just slip away though; I needed to erase every trace of Alexandra Storm.

But I wasn't just going to run away, I wanted to get even. In other words, I wanted to see Aidan and Brooke crumble before me. Once my mind was made up, I invited Nancy and explained my need for anonymity, for a clean slate, which sounded absurd, but essential.

"Are you insane? Why would you do that?" She asked as she wondered if I had gone mad.

"I deserve this Nancy. I did everything for Aidan, putting him above everything else. I saw him and Brooke last night, and you were right, something was going on with them," I admitted.

"I'm so sorry," Nancy whispered, patting my shoulder to give me a bit of comfort. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," was my curt answer. "I want to figuratively cease to exist. You see, going on a rampage isn't going to help me win against Aidan."

"How are you going to do that?" She questioned once more.

I didn't have an exact plan yet as to how I was going to pull off what I wanted to do, but I gave Nancy snippets of my ideas. She understood the urgency and how each detail mattered.

"Okay, then let me help you," she promised after hearing my thoughts.

I spent hours plotting and pacing in the woods where the trees were the only things listening to my secrets. I needed a plan that would draw Aidan's attention away from me, but at the same time have a bit of awareness that something happened.

My first step was to create chaos. I could use the upcoming full moon to my advantage as the pack would be on edge. I could stage an act—something that would lead Aidan to believe it was real. I needed a good diversion so that I could slip away unnoticed.

I'd then leave pieces of evidence that I was truly gone so that none of the pack members would look for me. The thrill of revenge danced in my veins as I knew I could do it. However, I couldn’t leave without making sure that Aidan felt the weight of his actions.

He needed to know the pain of losing me, just as much as the pain he caused me. I was going to make sure that he would regret the day he chose Brooke over me. When the night of the full moon arrived, every pack member basked under the moonlight, taking in the energy the moon goddess was showering.

I stood close to my exit point, waiting for the right moment while keeping my eyes on Aidan, who stood tall in the middle of the crowd, his authoritative presence commanding respect. I inched my way toward my mark but immediately stopped when I saw the flicker of worry in Aiden's eyes as if he felt something was wrong.

For a moment, I pretended to be as immersed as the others with the full moon, but when Aiden's concentration went back to the pack, I took a deep breath, letting the adrenaline surge through me as I told myself that I was ready.

And then it happened.