Leaving Heartbreaks Behind

My voice was cold but my heart ached.

It was the kind of pain that comes when something precious is ripped away from you.

There was a long silence on the other end of the line. So long, in fact, that I thought Nathan had hung up.

“Why? You gave birth to me, so why do you get to decide whether or not to be my mother?” he yelled suddenly.

I let out a bitter laugh.

Why?

He must have forgotten.

On Nathan’s eighth birthday, at the party I had spent months preparing for, both Janine and I had brought birthday cakes for him.

I had gotten the one he liked best—a Superman-themed cake—while Janine’s was just a plain fruit cake she had picked up on a whim.

I had eagerly presented my cake to him, but after a glance, he knocked it over.

He furrowed his brow and looked at me with disdain.

“Mom, I’m grown up now. Who still likes Superman? How childish!”

I stared at the cream splattered on my skirt, fighting back the tears.

A month ago, when Janine hadn’t returned yet, he had cried for a long time because I refused to buy him the Superman figurine on display in the store window.

I gathered my emotions and, when I looked up, I saw him smiling sweetly as he accepted the plain, undecorated cake from Janine.

He leaned into Janine’s embrace, his voice sugary as he said, “Thank you, Miss Janine, I love it so much!”

Christopher also put his arm around Janine’s shoulder and gazed at them adoringly.

They looked like the picture-perfect family, and I was just a bystander.

At that moment, I felt utterly disillusioned.

Ten years of love, eight years of raising Nathan, and to them, I was worth nothing.

At the peak of the birthday celebration, he made a solemn wish as he blew out the candles.

Some family members joked, asking what wish he had made.

“I wished for Mom to disappear, and for Miss Janine to be my new mom,” he said in a serious tone.

Caught off guard, my smile froze on my face.

I forced myself to keep up the facade until the end of the party.

No one knew how lonely and bitter I felt that day.

Yet now, he dared ask me why.

I took a deep breath and tried to steady my voice.

“Nathan, do you remember your birthday wish?” I asked.

“You chose to give up on me, not the other way around. From now on, I won’t disturb you anymore. Please, don’t bother me again.”

The words came out harsher than I intended, and through the phone, I could hear his desperate, sobbing breaths.

In the past, I would have felt heartbroken, but now, I only feel irritated.

Just as I was about to hang up, Christopher’s voice burst through the receiver.

“What the heck, Zoey? Do you have to treat Nathan like that?

“Is that what a wife and mother should be doing? Why do you always act so impulsively?”

I suddenly found it all so laughable.

I had merely given them what they wanted, letting them pursue the life they desired.

So why were they still blaming me?

“Christopher, do you remember last month, on our wedding anniversary, when I waited for you at the restaurant I had booked three months in advance?

“I waited until they closed. Do you remember your excuse for not showing up that day?”

I took a deep breath before continuing.

“You told me you had work, but then I saw your smug face in Janine’s Instagram post.

“She thanked you for rescuing her from that huge, terrifying cockroach, so late at night.”

I fell silent, and on the other end, he did too.

After a long pause, he finally gritted his teeth and spoke.

“Well Zoey, if you’re really going to divorce me, don’t dare come crawling back to me later!”