Intricacies of the heart

Hours  later, Crest and I were laughing our asses off as we exchanged stories about our individual college experiences. I was now almost completely comfortable, that I obliged when he'd asked if we could move somewhere more private. He led me up the spiral stairs,  into an open hallway, with doors on both left and right. He opened the second door to the right, immediately before the one Cherry said she was headed, and held it open for me. It was a cozy, dimly lit bedroom, I could smell lavender. The only light turned on was the ornate lamp by the bed that painted everything amber.

The noise from the party faded once he closed the door. My heart rate was through the roof, I tried to maintain a calm exterior, after all, this is what I was here for. He sat gracefully on the king–size bed that was neatly tucked in and arranged. I stood awkwardly by the corner and he motioned for me to come sit on his laps. I hesitated, but my feet were already moving.  In that moment, I was aware of every heart beat, every breath.

He was close enough that I could smell his cologne and minty breath, he reached towards my face to graze his hands and thumb across the apple of my cheeks. I was lost in those green eyes.

 He took a long breath."You're so beautiful." His breathing became labored.

 I tensed, with all the alcohol in my system, I felt light headed, like I could drown if I looked in his eyes too long.

"This is new for you isn't it?" He asked.

Unable to form words, I swayed and nodded. In  a bid to get it over with, I grabbed him by his collar and kissed him.

I've lost cost of the number of men I've kissed in my life. But this felt different, his lips were as soft as cloud against mine, he kissed me with controlled calm. I parted my lips and gave him access, he groaned,  the kiss quickly turned hungry and feral. We tore at each other's clothes until we were bare and he was on top of me, kissing me everywhere, sucking my neck, shoulder, breasts. His hands exploring every inch of my body.

This wasn't supposed to feel this good. He was completely in control just as I liked it. He reached for his wallet and brought out a condom. He looked at me for approval, I  gave it to him. In an instant the condom was on, he was on top of me again. A moment later, he was inside me, moving, thrusting, stroking. I moaned loudly and clawed at his back, clenching around him. That earned me a gasp. He let out a guttural growl, increasing his pace, his movements became jerky and he stilled inside me. He rolled off me, kissing my temple.

I heard the sound of fabric moving, when I sat up, he was halfway dressed. I couldn't stop myself from asking.

 "You're leaving now?"

He smiled at me. "Yea, I wish I could stay a bit longer but I need to see my kids before school."

 In that moment my heart sunk. The word kids hit harder than It should. Suddenly a dozen questions swarmed my head. Was he married? How many kids did he have? Will I see him again? Was the sex bad? I swallowed my thoughts and simply said. "Okay."

He reached for his jacket pulled out something from the inside pocket and placed it on the night stand. I didn't bother to check. He lingered just long enough to meet my eyes, a look that might have meant thank you or I'm sorry, or maybe nothing at all. Then he was gone. The door closed quietly behind him, with it went the warmth. I just sat there staring at the cash he left me, more money than I had ever seen. It didn't excite me, I felt hollow and empty.