In My Mother's Size Chart, I Was Always Twelve
Chapter 3
I sent the screenshot into the family group chat.
「Saturday afternoon, I have to go to the neighboring city for my evaluation.」
It was a few minutes before the mother replied:
「Didn't you already turn in your work?」
「That was only the first screening.」
「In the morning you can take Constance to her fitting first, done by eleven.」
「The neighboring city's only forty minutes by train. You'll make it, right?」
I'd already checked the schedule.
Depart 11:12, arrive 12:00.
Then a bus transfer to the studio, forty minutes at the least.
As long as the fitting didn't drag, I'd barely make it.
But every single time in the past, the half hour the mother promised turned into two or three hours.
I wrote back:
「I have to be at the station by eleven. I can't go in the morning.」
At dinner, the mother slid Saturday's schedule under the glass on the dining table.
After my name it still said:
「available all day」.
I picked up a pen, crossed it out, and wrote in “11:12, train”.
The mother saw it and frowned.
「You're free in the morning anyway. What's the harm in going with your sister?」
「The final round is a hands-on test. I need to prepare ahead of time.」
The father asked:
「How much does the studio pay a month?」
「Forty-two hundred during the trial period, room included.」
「You'd travel all that way for four thousand? You can't learn it at a tailor shop here in town?」
「There's no pattern-making position here.」
「It's all making clothes. How different can it be?」
I didn't explain again.
In this house, whether I studied fashion design or sat on some street corner swapping out zippers made no real difference.
As long as I could hold a needle and save the family money, it counted as putting my education to use.
The doorbell rang.
Aunt Marlene came in carrying that coat with the split seam.
She heard us talking about my job and let out a laugh:
「What kind of good job can a vocational-school grad even land? Four thousand and change, and traveling out of town on top of it. That won't even cover rent and food.」
「Wouldn't it be so much better for Deidre to stay home?」
「She can alter clothes, and she can make Constance's costumes too.」
The mother's face went hard at once.
「Deidre earned a scholarship every semester, and her teacher recommended her for this job.」
The father set down his chopsticks too.
「A low starting salary is perfectly normal for a new grad.」
「She trained in pattern-making, not in patching up people's cuffs.」
Aunt Marlene looked a little awkward and pushed the coat toward me.
「I never said she wasn't good. So fix this one for me while you're at it. That's fine, isn't it?」
The mother put her hand on the coat first.
「She's got her evaluation these next few days. Take it to a shop and get it done.」
After Aunt Marlene left, the mother was still angry.
「Her own daughter's been out of school two years without a real job, and she has the nerve to talk about you.」
The father looked at me:
「Relatives say ugly things. Don't take it to heart.」
「We know how capable you are.」
I held my chopsticks, and my throat suddenly went tight.
It wasn't that they didn't love me.
When outsiders looked down on me, they got angry, they spoke up for me, they remembered I'd won scholarships.
But the mother's next words were:
「So you should be all the more understanding.」
「Constance can't do without you.」
That little bit of warmth slowly went cold.
They wouldn't let anyone else treat me as a free seamstress.
But in this house, my time was still theirs to use for free.
Constance set down her chopsticks.
「Mom, I can go by myself.」
「No one at a shop is as careful as your sister.」
「Then I'll learn to speak up.」
The mother ignored her and just stuck the schedule back onto the fridge.
A while later, I went to get some water.
The “11:12” had already been wiped away.
After my name it now read:
「9:00 fitting with Constance, 12:00 take Justin shoe shopping.」
The final evaluation was written all the way at the edge, with a question mark after it.
On that paper, everyone's business had a fixed time.
Only my future could be moved around.
I called the studio.
They said the final round started for everyone at once, that being fifteen minutes late meant disqualification, and there was no rescheduling.
The mother heard from the kitchen.
「If it can't be moved, then forget it. There'll be other chances later.」
「This is the last batch this year.」
She paused.
「Then do whatever you want.」
It sounded like she was handing the choice back to me.
But at ten that night, she still came in with four outfits in her arms.
「Tomorrow's the reshoot. Iron all of these. And do Constance's hair for her.」
「I need to check my work.」
「How long does ironing clothes take?」
I looked at her.
「Mom, I'm not going to the fitting tomorrow.」
She stood there a few seconds, then gathered up the clothes.
「Fine.」
「All grown up now, and none of this family's business has anything to do with you anymore.」
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