I Was Only His Dead Lover's Replacement

2: 2

When I opened my eyes again, I was already lying in a hospital bed.

The wringing pain in my chest hadn't eased while I was out. If anything it was worse, like a hand had reached into my ribs, and every breath came with pain.

"Ms. Prescott, you're awake?" The nurse from before was still beside me, and the moment she saw my eyes open she hurried to hand me a cup of warm water. "Dr. Lambert says this is a textbook case of broken heart syndrome."

"I always thought that word only turned up in soap operas. I never knew someone could actually hurt this badly."

I took the cup and said nothing.

Just then the light at the door dimmed.

Marlin Delgado pushed the door open and came in. His eyes settled on my face, and his tone was flat.

"Any prior heart conditions?"

I looked at that face, so familiar and so unfamiliar, and stared for a long moment before I slowly shook my head, my voice dry and rasping.

"No. My health has always been fine."

His brow drew together slightly, and he said, offhand,

"Just been through a breakup?"

I lowered my eyes and didn't answer.

Did it count as a breakup?

It didn't seem to count at all.

By some mistake of fate I had simply gone back ten years, and stumbled onto the truth I'd believed in all along.

Seeing me stay silent, Marlin explained mildly,

"There's a condition in medicine called broken heart syndrome. It's a form of acute stress-induced cardiomyopathy."

"When a person goes through extreme grief and their emotions collapse violently, stress hormones surge in the body and briefly damage the heart muscle. It can bring on fainting and severe chest pain."

He paused, then went on,

"We'll keep you here for observation for a while."

He had barely finished when a loud crash came from the room across the hall.

The composed, unhurried Marlin of a second ago went white in an instant.

He dropped the chart in his hand almost on reflex and bolted for the door.

"Carmen, what happened? Where did you hit yourself?"

The panic in that voice, the ache, the tremor. In the ten years I'd known him, I had never once heard any of it.

The chest that had already been wringing with pain felt like it had been stabbed all over again.

I couldn't help curving forward, dragging in one huge breath after another.

"Oh dear..."

The nurse beside me sighed and shook her head, pity in her voice.

"You have to wonder. Miss Fox, young and beautiful, perfectly fine, and then she gets hit with something like this?"

"Late-stage cancer. I heard there isn't even a chance for surgery... Dr. Delgado's been throwing his whole life away for her these past weeks."

The nurse's words were like a blunt knife working through flesh.

I bit down hard on my lower lip, until I tasted blood, and only then managed to force down the sob in my throat.

I really couldn't listen to another one of her sighs, so I threw off the blanket and got out of bed.

"I'm going to walk around a bit."

The nurse didn't stop me, only called out a couple of reminders.

"Don't go far. Come back and rest soon."

I nodded and fled, almost, up to the top floor.

The night wind chilled me, and stirred my thoughts into a mess.

My head was in chaos. One moment it was the Marlin of ten years later, gentle and restrained, who had come specifically to apply as my personal stylist. The next it was the Marlin of now, calmly practicing medicine, losing his composure for no one but Carmen Fox.

Before I knew it, the sky had gone fully dark.

I was just about to head downstairs when a sound of footsteps came from behind me.

Marlin stood there in the darkness, reeking of alcohol, drunk out of his mind.

He stared at me, his voice thick with tears.

"When you go through a breakup, how do you manage your emotions? Can you help me? I can't hold on much longer."

I froze where I stood, my heart clenching all at once.

He slid slowly down against the rooftop wall to the ground, dug both hands into his hair, and suddenly broke down sobbing.

"She says it hurts. She says she doesn't want treatment anymore..."

"I'm a doctor. I studied all those years, I've held the scalpel so many times, so why can't I save her? Why..."

I was in too much pain to make a single sound.

The Marlin I knew never shed a single tear.

Even when I lay half-dead in front of him after a car accident, he had only frowned faintly and calmly tended to my wounds.

There wasn't a trace of panic in him, and he never once cried for me.

I couldn't bear to watch him break down and weep any longer. I turned and stumbled away, rushing all the way down the stairs.

Only once I reached the ground floor did the suffocating, dull ache in my chest ease a little.

"You ran so fast. Were you afraid he'd see you crying?"

A weak but smiling woman's voice sounded behind me.

I whipped around and saw Carmen Fox standing not far away. I hadn't noticed when she'd gotten there.