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I Was My Alpha’s Medicine, Never His Luna Novel Cover

I Was My Alpha’s Medicine, Never His Luna

Six long years of sterile wolfsbane, antiseptic, and endless extraction have defined her existence. To her pack, she is the picture of composure—a dutiful Luna executing her solemn role. Yet beneath her calm facade, her inner wolf has been counting every single day and night. After two thousand one hundred ninety days of silent sacrifice, the cycle of agony is finally over. Today marks the absolute end.
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Chapter 4

I was five hundred miles away when Kashton's memory betrayed him.

I didn't know it was happening. I was crossing into Washington state, the Cascades rising ahead of me like a wall of white and gray, my wolf so close to the surface I could feel her claws flexing under my skin. Another hour. Maybe two. Then Dawson.

But Kashton was alone in his study at three in the morning, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep for the fifth night in a row.

I knew what insomnia did to wolves. It stripped away the present and left only memory. The mind went searching for patterns, for explanations, for the moment everything went wrong.

He would be searching now. Trying to reconstruct the last few weeks. Trying to find the sign he'd missed.

And he would find the wrong one.

Three weeks before I left, our convoy was ambushed on the highway coming back from the Winter Solstice Banquet. Rogues. Six of them, coordinated, targeting the Alpha's vehicle. They came out of the tree line fast, claws extended, going straight for Kashton's window.

I was in the passenger seat. I saw the lead rogue's trajectory half a second before impact.

I threw myself across Kashton.

The claws that were meant for his throat tore through my jacket, my shirt, the skin across my shoulder blades. I felt them drag deep, felt the hot rush of blood, felt my wolf snarl inside me in fury and pain.

Kashton's warriors killed the rogues in under two minutes. Efficient. Brutal. The kind of response Shadowcrest was known for.

But in those two minutes, something happened that I hadn't accounted for.

The pain spiked. My suppressants—always carefully timed, always perfectly calibrated—faltered. Just for a moment. Just long enough.

My scent leaked through.

Not the neutral, medicinal nothing I'd been projecting for six years. My real scent. Wild jasmine. Cold mountain air. The scent that belonged to Dawson and no one else.

Kashton had been pinned beneath me, his hands braced on my waist to steady me, his wolf surging in response to the attack. And he'd caught it. Just a thread of it. Just enough.

I'd felt him go still.

I'd pulled back immediately, pressed my hand to the wound on my shoulder, and let the pain mask everything else. The suppressants kicked back in within seconds. The scent disappeared.

But Kashton had smelled it.

And he'd interpreted it exactly the way I'd been afraid he would.

In the days after the ambush, he'd been—different. Gentler. He'd checked on my injuries himself instead of sending Petra. He'd asked if I needed anything. He'd looked at me the way you look at someone you're starting to see for the first time.

He'd thought the bond was forming.

He'd thought the Moon Goddess was finally answering his assumption that I was his.

I had not corrected him. I had smiled politely, thanked him for his concern, and made sure my suppressant dose was doubled for the next three weeks.

My demeanor had not changed by even a fraction.

Because there was no bond forming. There never had been. That scent he'd caught wasn't meant for him. It was meant for the wolf three states away whose blood was still flowing through Kashton's veins, keeping him alive long enough to keep Dawson alive.

But Kashton wouldn't understand that. Not yet.

Right now, lying awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling, his joints aching and his wolf howling, he would be remembering that moment. The scent. The stillness. The way I'd looked at him afterward.

He would be telling himself it had been real.

He would be telling himself I had felt it too.

And he would be wrong.

I crossed the state line as the sun came up. The light was pale and cold, turning the snow blue. I pulled into a rest stop, parked, and checked my phone.

Three new messages. All from my father.

*Elder Council delivered the papers.*

*Blockade activated.*

*He knows.*

I stared at the messages for a long moment. Then I typed back: *Good.*

I put the phone away and got out of the car. The air was sharp and clean. I could smell pine and snow and something else—something wild and familiar that made my wolf lift her head inside me.

Crescentfall territory. We were close.

I got back in the car and kept driving.

Behind me, Kashton was being summoned to the Elder Council.

I imagined him walking into that chamber—the old stone room with the high ceiling and the carved wolves on the walls. I imagined the Council representative, Marcus, sitting at the head of the table with the papers spread in front of him.

I imagined Kashton's face when Marcus slid the Luna renunciation document across the table.

Formally executed. Witnessed and stamped. Three days old. Irreversible without the renouncing Luna's consent.

I imagined Kashton picking up the paper. Reading it once. Twice. Looking for the loophole, the error, the way to undo it.

There wasn't one.

His mother had made sure of that.

I imagined Marcus's voice, calm and formal: "The clause was identified and verified before Miss Freeman's departure, Alpha Cunningham. She is no longer bound to Shadowcrest. She is no longer your Luna. The bond you believed was forming—" A pause. "—was never sanctioned by the Moon Goddess."

I imagined Kashton staring at the paper. His wolf, silent for days, would produce a sound then. A low, confused whine of anguish. The sound of something breaking that he didn't know how to name.

And then, while he was still sitting in that chamber, still holding the renunciation papers, the second blow would land.

Alpha Freeman's blockade.

Every southern trade checkpoint held by Thornfield warriors. Medicine shipments suspended. Construction materials rerouted. Luxury supply lines—the ones that kept Shadowcrest's treasury fat and its alliances comfortable—cut off completely.

Kashton's phone would buzz. His Beta would send the notification. The treasury bleeding. The pack murmuring. The discontent sharpening into something audible.

I imagined him sitting there, the renunciation papers in one hand, the blockade report in the other, trying to understand how his world had collapsed in the span of a single afternoon.

I didn't feel sorry for him.

I felt nothing.

I kept driving west, into the mountains, toward the only wolf who had ever been mine.

The road curved higher. The trees thickened. And somewhere ahead, just beyond the next ridge, Dawson was waiting.

I pressed harder on the accelerator.

I was almost home.

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