I Said I Never Loved Him to Save Him

I scrubbed the towel hard against my soaked hair, as if rubbing hard enough could keep my heart from breaking.

"Mm."

Wayne's face went stiff, his voice trembling faintly.

"You agree?"

I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood filling my mouth, and only then did I nod, slowly.

"I agree."

A small, bitter laugh escaped him.

He crossed to the coffee table in two strides and snatched up the divorce papers he'd already prepared, then came storming back toward me, though his voice softened the moment he reached me, without his meaning it to.

"If you agree, then sign."

"The house, the car, the money. I've set it all aside for you."

"It's enough to keep you comfortable for the rest of your life."

"If you want to work, take a project manager position at one of the subsidiaries."

"I've already put in a word. You can start whenever you like."

His voice broke off, choking, and his hand tightened around the papers.

"And there's also..."

A cramp seized my abdomen, and my whole body shook beyond my control.

The doctor's warning came back to me.

"Once you feel sharp abdominal pain, it means the tumor is no longer under control."

"After that, you'll waste away the way other cancer patients do. It will be agony."

"And there will be no hiding that you're sick..."

I looked at Wayne in a rush of panic and snatched the papers out of his hand. Gritting my teeth, I signed my name on the last page, then shoved the papers back at him.

"Is this enough?"

Wayne stared at me, stunned, his eyes going red in an instant.

The corner of his mouth twitched, but not a single word came out.

Another cramp tore through my belly. I pressed my purse over my abdomen and walked toward the bedroom on bare feet.

The instant I pushed the door open, Wayne caught me from behind. He rested his chin on my shoulder, his voice ragged with sobs.

"Lacey, was there something I didn't do well enough?"

"Why did you suddenly stop loving me?"

"It took us so long to finally be together."

"You promised you'd love me your whole life!"

"How did we end up here?"

"I was wrong — let's not do this, please?"

"I'll be twice as good to you from now on. I'm begging you, don't leave me!"

My body shook and I couldn't stop it, the tears falling no matter how I fought them.

Just the divorce alone was already more than he could bear.

What if I died in front of him?

I didn't dare imagine how unbearable his days would be after I was gone.

If there had to be pain, then better that he hate me.

I clenched my fists and bit open the cut on my lip again.

"I never loved you!"

"I was with you for the money."

"I just never expected you to be so devoted."

"Devoted enough to cling to me every single day."

"I'm sick of every day spent with you."

"If you really love me, then stop clinging to me."

"Let's part on good terms."

When I finished, I pried Wayne's hands off me by force. I ran into the bedroom like I was fleeing, and locked the door.

I curled up against it in pain, tipping the whole purse upside down on the floor with shaking hands.

Among all the "vitamin" bottles, I found the new one the doctor had prescribed.

But I couldn't get the cap off.

Again and again.

No matter how hard I twisted, the cap wouldn't give.

I hurled the bottle to the floor,