I Refuse to Be Your Luna

Silence settled between us.

Finally, I broke it.

“Today is the anniversary of our son's death,” I said quietly. “The day the avalanche buried everything... the day you never came back.”

His expression faltered.

For the briefest moment, I caught something in his eyes.

Regret.

Maybe guilt.

At that point, I couldn't tell the difference anymore.

I glanced at the mango cake still in his hands.

“And one more thing,” I added. “I'm allergic to mangoes.”

His face drained of color.

“Lillian... I...” His voice stumbled. “I didn't know. I thought—”

“No,” I interrupted gently. “You never thought about it.”

“You're wrong.” He took a step toward me. “Please don't walk away like this. We can talk. I know you're hurting, but don't push me away.”

I slowly shook my head.

“I'm not angry anymore.”

I looked at him one last time.

“I'm simply tired of talking.”

Without another word, I walked past him.

I ignored him calling my name.

I ignored Celeste's quiet sobs.

And when Rowan's voice softened as he turned to comfort her instead, I kept walking without looking back.

...

The moment I reached my room, I closed the door and shut the rest of the world outside.

Sleep eventually claimed me.

I had no idea whether I'd been asleep for hours or nearly the entire night.

A faint noise downstairs pulled me awake.

Voices.

Soft footsteps.

I slowly opened my eyes.

Rowan was sitting beside my bed.

He watched me with the same gentle expression he used to wear years ago.

“My love,” he said quietly after noticing I was awake. “You're finally up.”

I offered no reply.

I only looked at him.

“I made something for you.” His voice was careful, almost hesitant. “A strawberry cake. It's your favorite. Will you eat a little?”

When his fingers reached for mine, I quietly pulled my hand away.

“I'm not hungry.”

His hand remained suspended awkwardly before he lowered it with a sigh.

“Don't pretend,” he murmured. “You're still upset with me, aren't you?”

I remained silent.

After a long pause, he tried again.

“Once things settle down at the pack, I'll take you out. Your favorite orchestra is performing soon. We can go together, just the two of us. Doesn't that sound nice?”

I turned my face toward the window instead, refusing to answer.

He pressed his lips together before taking my hand again.

This time he didn't let go.

“Celeste prepared something especially for you,” he said. “She arranged an animal performance because she wants to apologize properly. Just come see it. Please.”

“I don't want to.”

The words came quietly.

He ignored them.

Naturally.

Without asking again, he slipped one arm beneath my knees and lifted me into his embrace before carrying me downstairs.

The cold night air struck me the moment we stepped outside.

I wore nothing but a thin nightgown.

The freezing wind instantly made me shiver.

My body trembled uncontrollably.

Rowan either didn't notice...

Or he noticed and simply chose not to care.

My eyes followed him as he picked up several warm coats nearby.

For one foolish second, I thought one might be for me.

It wasn't.

Every piece belonged to Celeste.

He walked straight to her, carefully helping her into a thick protective outfit. He adjusted every strap himself, gently settled the padded jacket over her shoulders, pulled gloves over her hands, then carefully fastened a safety helmet beneath her chin.

His every movement was impossibly patient.

As though she were something precious that might break.

When he finished, he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

“Don't overwork yourself,” he told her softly. “You and our baby matter more than anything else. Nothing is more important than keeping both of you safe.”

The wind carried every word to where I stood.

A moment later, Celeste pulled away the heavy cloth covering a large iron cage.

I immediately froze.

Inside paced two enormous beasts.

A fully grown black bear.

A shadow lynx.

Their claws scraped violently against the metal bars as restless growls echoed through the clearing.

The instant the cover disappeared, both animals stopped moving.

Then...

They looked directly at me.

“ROAR!”

The bear's thunderous roar shattered the silence.

Its dark eyes remained fixed on mine with terrifying intensity.

My heart nearly stopped.

Why...

Why were they staring at me like that?

Almost instinctively, I backed away.

Then a strange scent drifted through my memory.

The lilies.

The bouquet Celeste had given me earlier.

That overpowering smell...

A chill raced through my body.

No...

Surely not...

I swallowed hard before forcing myself to speak.

“Rowan...”

My voice shook.

“I don't feel well. Can we leave? Please... I really don't want to stay here.”

Once upon a time, he would've rushed to my side without hesitation.

He would've carried me inside.

Asked if I was hurting.

Made sure I was alright before anything else.

Now...

His brows drew together impatiently.

“Lillian,” he said with obvious annoyance, “don't start making trouble. Celeste has been preparing this for days. Can't you stay for a few minutes instead of spoiling everything?”

Spoiling everything.

The words stung far more than they should have.

I forced another breath.

“I'm not trying to ruin anything. I honestly don't feel well. Can we please leave afterward... or even now?”

He let out another sigh.

“You're worrying over nothing. Nothing bad is going to happen. Just watch the performance. It'll be finished soon.”

Watch?

I nearly laughed.

Celeste stepped into the performance area while carefully holding the control chains attached to the animals.

“I practiced every day for this,” she said nervously. “I really wanted to make it up to you. Please... let me do this.”

I couldn't bring myself to answer.

The performance began.

The bear and the lynx obediently leaped through flaming hoops before balancing across narrow wooden beams. Everything appeared perfectly under control.

“That's right...” Celeste encouraged shakily. “Slowly... good... just like that.”

Rowan applauded proudly.

A bright smile spread across his face.

“You're doing wonderfully,” he praised. “I knew you could.”

His eyes never left her.

Not once.

Not even for a second.

He had completely forgotten that this performance was supposedly arranged for me.

But even that wasn't what frightened me most.

My breathing became uneven.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking.

Because no matter where they moved...

The bear and the lynx kept looking at me.

Again.

And again.

Every time our eyes met, something inside their gaze seemed darker.

Hungrier.

Like they were waiting for the perfect moment.

I quietly stepped backward.

Then another step.

I have to leave.

Now.

No one noticed me.

Of course they didn't.

I had almost slipped beyond the edge of the clearing when—

“Ah!”

Celeste screamed.

I spun around.

She had lost her balance on the raised platform.

Her body tipped sideways.

The control chains slipped from her hands.

Everything happened at once.

The bear and the lynx became completely still.

Then deafening roars erupted from both of them.

“Celeste!”

Rowan shouted her name without a second's hesitation.

He sprinted straight toward her.

“Celeste! Are you alright? Talk to me!”

He reached her first.

Not me.

Never me.

The two beasts slowly turned their heads.

Toward me.

My breathing stopped.

“No...”

I stumbled backward.

“Please...”

Too late.

They charged.

Everything happened in a blur.

A crushing force slammed into me.

Agonizing pain exploded through every part of my body as claws tore into my flesh. It felt as though my bones were breaking apart one by one.

“Aah!”

My scream echoed through the night.

The pain was unbearable.

I couldn't think.

Couldn't breathe.

I collapsed onto the ground as blood spread beneath me, warm and endless.

Through my fading vision...

I searched for him.

Rowan.

He was holding Celeste tightly in his arms.

He never looked my way.

Not even once.