I Quit Loving You The Day I Walked Away

"You broke it yourself, so you can deal with it yourself."

He took Samantha's hand and swept out without a backward glance.

The clerk picked up the gown, at a loss for what to do.

I grabbed my bag and patted her shoulder.

"Just throw it away."

Dana and the dress. I didn't want either of them anymore.

Back home, I threw myself down onto the bed.

Last night's dinner had been too greasy, and since morning my stomach had been aching dully.

Finally a sharp wave of nausea surged up my throat, and I clapped a hand over my mouth and rushed into the bathroom.

After hitting the flush button, I braced myself against the sink and stood up.

Dana had come back at some point. He stood in the middle of the living room, his face gone pale.

His voice shook a little.

"You're pregnant?"

I stood in the bathroom doorway, arms crossed, leaning against the frame, and the whole thing struck me as funny.

The nausea was still rolling up inside me, sharp enough to bring tears to my eyes.

But I didn't tell him the truth.

"Yeah. Just found out. Do you plan to keep it?"

Dana's face went blank, and his hands trembled as he searched his pockets for a coin.

"Let's flip a coin to decide."

But he dug around for ages and couldn't find a single one.

I walked up to him and pressed a round object into his palm.

"Heads, we keep the baby. Tails, I get rid of it."

"Dana. Flip it properly."

I looked at him, long and hard.

He tossed the coin smoothly into the air, caught it on the back of his hand, and covered it.

The clock in the corner ticked on, and neither of us said a word.

After a long moment, Dana finally lifted his hand and looked.

"Tails."

His tone was calm as he turned the coin over and closed it in his fist.

"Carmen, we'll have a baby someday. It's just that now, the timing isn't right."

I looked into his eyes, wanting to ask him when the timing would be right, why it wasn't right now.

Wanting to tell him the pregnancy was fake, that even the coin just now was only an ordinary arcade token, with no heads or tails at all.

But in the end I said nothing.

As I packed the last piece of clothing into my suitcase, the phone on the bed started buzzing nonstop.

I opened it and found the class group chat had blown up.

"Did you all see the video Samantha posted? I never would've guessed Carmen was that kind of person."

"At the reunion that day I felt something was off between them. The original girlfriend running into the other woman. No wonder Dana ended up walking out on Carmen."

"The pull of a first love. No one can resist it."

"…"

Someone had reposted Samantha's video, the cover a photo of her and Dana together.

I tapped in. The title was A Day-Date With My First Love.

She and Dana had gone back to relive the barbecue stand outside the school, ridden the Ferris wheel to the very top, tried on wedding gowns, and finally stopped on a rooftop.

I recognized it. This was the place where Dana had once confessed to me.

Samantha held up the camera, her voice full of regret.

"Such a shame. That fireworks display you set off for me back then, I never got to see it."