I Loved Him Once, Now I’ll Bury Him With My Hate

I blinked, still half in a daze. “What… what are you talking about?”

He threw something at my face and I felt the sting on my skin. When I looked down, I saw it was a necklace. My necklace. The one I lost when that man in black attacked me.

“Anika!” Wilbert’s teeth were clenched. “Explain this!”

I picked up the necklace with shaky fingers. “This is mine… but I don’t understand.”

“She sent me a message last night. Just two words. Help. When I rushed to the hospital she was gone and this was the only thing left on her bed.” His eyes burned with accusation.

My throat went dry. “It has nothing to do with me.”

He lunged forward and his hand wrapped around my neck. His face twisted with fury. “You told me yesterday that Nivianne hurt you. Now she’s disappeared. Don’t lie to me, you’re retaliating against her!”

I choked for air but forced my eyes to stay steady. “I don’t know… I swear, I haven’t done anything.”

But Wilbert didn’t believe me. He never did.

Instead, he dragged Mark out like a broken doll. My brother’s arms were tied in that humiliating big character style, and they dumped him on the road in front of a car.

“Mark!” My heart dropped to the floor.

The headlights glared, and I barely had time to breathe before the engine roared and the car rolled forward. It crushed his leg with a sickening crack.

“Ahhh!” Mark screamed in pain. “Anika! My leg!”

My body shook violently. “Brother!” I screamed. “Wilbert, what are you doing! What are you going to do to him?!”

“I told you,” Wilbert said coldly. “From this moment, every minute the car will start again. First your brother’s limbs. If you don’t give me Nivianne’s location in three minutes, the car will go for his head.”

“Please, no! I don’t know anything! Why won’t you believe me, just once, believe me!” My tears blurred my sight. I had never felt so powerless in my life.

Mark writhed on the ground, his face pale with sweat. “Anika… don’t listen to him… just save yourself,” he begged through his pain.

But Wilbert only sneered. “One minute has passed.” He waved his hand. The car jerked forward again and this time it rolled right over Mark’s hand.

His scream tore through me. “My hand! Anika, I can’t move it!”

“No! Don’t! Please stop!” I fell to my knees in front of Wilbert. “I beg you, don’t hurt him anymore. If you think I did this, then punish me instead. Let me die if you want, but don’t touch my brother. Please… please believe me.”

Wilbert’s face showed no pity, only impatience. He raised his hand again and the headlights flared bright.

I shook my head violently. “No, please, no!”

The car roared and I saw it heading straight for Mark. I didn’t even think. I tore free from the guards holding me and ran forward with everything I had left.

“Anika, no!” Mark screamed, his voice hoarse.

But I was already in front of him, throwing myself over his body to shield him.

I heard Wilbert shout my name in panic, but it was too late.

My world went white the second the car hit me. I felt my waist slam, something inside snap, and then hot blood sprayed into my mouth. I tasted iron and panic and everything went fuzzy.

“Anika!” Wilbert’s voice sounded far away as he grabbed me and pressed his fingers at the corner of my mouth, wiping blood like it would fix what was broken. He kept saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over, like a prayer.

Then the secretary burst in, breathless and puckered, all business and show. “Sir, we found her,” she said, like it was a gift. “She’s out in the suburbs, hurt and scared. No one can get near her, but she called your name.” Wilbert froze, like someone had flipped a switch.

They loaded me and Mark into the ambulance and we screamed to the hospital. Halfway there the doors burst open and chaos exploded at the ER entrance. People shouting. A doctor pulled at a gurney. Every alarm sounded like a countdown.

“Nivianne needs help,” the secretary hissed, eyes all wet and very useful. “She’s screaming, she says her hand’s useless. One of the ER doctors is with Mr. Gu’s son already and the other—” She looked at Wilbert like she was waiting for a crown. “We can send someone, but it’ll be at least thirty minutes.”

I saw it in his face then. That split second where he weighed my soaked, broken body against the idea of his favorite doctor losing her hands. He hesitated. I could see gears turning like he was choosing which piece of meat to save.

My mouth wanted to laugh at how ridiculous it all was. Here I was, bleeding out, and he was thinking about a hand. I tried to force a smile and my lips barely moved. The blood kept coming and I felt myself drifting.

Nivianne’s voice suddenly cracked through the noise, thin and perfected. “W-wilbert, please. I am a doctor. My hands are my life. If my hand is ruined, I’m finished. Please, save me. I’m so sorry, I should have died today, I was lucky to escape.” She sounded like she meant it. She sounded like she was sobbing on cue.

That was all it took. Wilbert’s face snapped into motion. Of course it did. He turned away from me and handed my life over like a trivial expense. “Save her first,” he told the staff, voice flat and decisive. “She can’t lose her hands. Anika, wait a little longer.” He looked at me like I was a problem to schedule.

I wanted to scream. I tried to tell him, “I didn’t do anything, I didn’t—” but my words slurred into nothing. The room spun and his eyes stayed on me for the shortest of seconds, pity or calculation, I couldn’t tell which. Then he was gone, walking after the people who carried Nivianne, like she’d been the real casualty all along.

They wheeled me away anyway, but I heard their footsteps fade toward the other bed. I watched the ceiling tiles blur and thought, How am I supposed to matter when a staged sob and a perfect sobbing voice can buy a man’s entire conscience?

I had no strength left to fight him. Time dragged slow and cruel, and every second I thought my chest would stop rising. I really believed I was going to die on that table, but something in me refused to give up. My body clung to life until the doctors finally wheeled me into the emergency room.

.....

Six hours later, I opened my eyes in the same ward I knew too well. My throat was dry, my voice rough, and the pain still sharp, but I was alive.

The phone by my bed buzzed, and when I answered it, Wilbert’s grandfather’s voice came through, calm and heavy. “Anika, all the papers are ready. This is the last step. You won’t regret it, will you?”

I swallowed hard and whispered, “No. I can’t wait to leave. Book three tickets for me. Once it’s done, I want to disappear immediately.”

I was about to ask him to confirm the plan again when the door flew open. My blood ran cold.

“Anika, where are you going?” Wilbert’s voice cut through the room like a knife. He was leaning against the doorframe, watching me.