I Helped a Hungry Student,They Accused Me of Seducing Him

I went to the school on an investigation assignment and decided to grab lunch in the cafeteria while I was there.

I noticed a boy who'd only gotten himself a cup of free broth, so I went ahead and bought him a full meal.

Someone nearby whispered, "Isn't that the Ivy League kid? How does that girl even dare talk to him?"

Before I could think twice, a female teacher came charging over and slapped me across the face.

"What class are you in? You little tramp! How dare you throw yourself at my son!"

The boy panicked, grabbing her arm. "Mom! It's not what you think!"

She shook him off and seized my wrist. "Come on! We're going to the principal!"

I tried to explain. "You've got it wrong. I'm from the Board of Education."

She let out a sharp, mocking laugh. "The Board of Education? A girl your age, and you're already lying through your teeth? Move it!"

But I just had a baby face!

By the time she dragged me into the principal's office, she was still carrying on at the top of her lungs. "Principal! My son is an Ivy League candidate! And this girl had the nerve to throw herself at him! A student like this needs to be expelled!"

The principal turned to me, his voice dripping with authority. "What class are you in? Give me your parents' number. You're expelled."

I smiled.

"Go ahead and call. I just hope you've got the nerve to dial it."

——

Principal William Whitney choked on whatever he'd been about to say, caught completely off guard.

Delia Lawrence was practically bouncing beside him. "Principal, you see her attitude? This shameless little creature deserves to be taught a hard lesson!"

I leaned back in the chair and rubbed my wrist where her fingers had left red marks. "Enough talk. Make the call."

William took the bait. He picked up the desk phone. "What's the number?"

I rattled off a string of digits.

He dialed, hit the speaker button, and puffed himself up. "Hello, this is William Whitney, principal of Evergreen Academy. You're this student's parent, correct? Your child has been seducing a male classmate on school grounds. I need you here immediately."

Two seconds of silence on the other end.

Then a voice came through, laced with obvious confusion. "Excuse me? What did you just say? Who?"

William repeated himself. "Your daughter has been seducing a male classmate at this school! I need you here to deal with this right now!"

Silence again.

I almost couldn't hold back my laughter.

If this principal had any idea who was on the other end of that line, he'd have wet himself on the spot.

Too bad he didn't know.

He just stood there, chest puffed out, waiting for my "parent" to come grovel.

"Principal Whitney," the voice on the line took on a strange edge, "are you certain you're talking about my daughter?"

"Of course I'm certain!" William snapped. "Are you coming or not?"

The voice replied, "I'm on my way. And Principal Whitney, until I get there, no one lays a finger on her."

Click. The line went dead.

William set the receiver down and scoffed. "Quite the attitude."

Delia sidled up to him. "What happened? What did they say?"

"Said they're on their way." William dropped the handset into its cradle. "Told me not to touch his daughter."

Delia's eyes darted around, and then her face lit up with sudden excitement.

"Principal, I have an idea! Call a school-wide assembly. Make this little tramp apologize in front of every single student! Kill the chicken to scare the monkeys. Let every girl with wandering eyes get a good look at what happens!"

William hesitated. "Isn't that a bit much?"

"How is it too much?" Delia's voice climbed to a shrill pitch. "My son placed first in the citywide mock exams. He's the pride of this school! If we don't deal with girls like her, every tramp on campus will think she can throw herself at him!"

William nodded, about to speak, when Delia reached over and grabbed a fistful of my hair.

I caught her wrist and twisted. Hard.

"Ahh!" She cried out, the color draining from her face.