I Don't Love You Like I Did Yesterday

I lay awake until morning, staring at the ceiling, feeling like a stranger in my own skin. As the first light of dawn seeped through my window, I reached for my phone and dialed Mrs. Montclair.

“I’ll do it,” I said, my voice steady despite the hollow ache in my chest. “Just… with one condition,” I said, closing my eyes. “Don’t tell Cassian.”

For years, I had never called him my brother—not once. Because deep down, I had held onto the foolish hope that one day, he would be mine. But now, with the future set before me, it was time to let go.

Mrs. Montclair hesitated, then sighed. “I know this isn't fair to you,” she said. “But don’t worry, I will prepare a generous dowry for you. I won’t let the Kensingtons look down on you just because you’re adopted.”

“From now on, you are a daughter of the Montclair.”

I had spent the entire night convincing myself that this was the right choice. That walking away from Cassian was the only way to reclaim the last shreds of my dignity. Whatever promises she made, I no longer had faith in them.

Still, I replied smoothly, “Thank you, Mother.”

Mrs. Montclair knew Cassian better than anyone. She feared that if he found out about my marriage, he would cause trouble. So, she and the Kensingtons scheduled the wedding for the same day as Cassian’s engagement. That day, he would be in the spotlight, too busy to notice me.

Marrying into the Kensington Family, to be the wife of a blind man... I only allowed myself a brief moment of regret before shaking it off.

Who was I to be picky? If the other party wasn’t choosy, I had no right to be either.

The days passed in silence.

Cassian must have felt some guilt. He stayed away, never speaking to me, but he also made sure I was trapped inside the estate. 

So I played my role. I stayed in my room. Silent. Obedient. Like a caged bird that had long accepted its fate, I barely stepped out of my room unless necessary.

Two days before the wedding, gardeners arrived. They uprooted every last bougainvillea in the garden—the flowers I loved—and replaced them with white roses. Sloane’s favorite.

Cassian must have feared I would lose control, so he let the guards take me out for a drive, hoping to distract me.

When I returned, the estate where I had lived for over a decade no longer felt like home. Everything has changed. 

Except for one thing. The tiny room under the staircase.

The servants’ quarters where I had spent my childhood. Where my grandmother’s scent still lingered. Where I had learned how to tuck away my feelings, to bury every dream I had ever dared to have.

I knew then—it was time to say goodbye.

I packed slowly, carefully. The room was small, yet it held more memories than the grandest halls of this estate.

After my grandmother passed away, Cassian had offered me to move upstairs, but I had refused. This was my last tie to my grandmother, to her warmth and the quiet comfort she had given me. Before she died, she had made me promise to protect myself. "Guard your heart."

But I failed her.

Still, she had always said that mistakes were meant to be learned from. That no matter how many times you fall, you have to keep moving forward.

I opened a closet and found an old box tucked away in the corner. Inside were all the gifts Cassian had given me over the years. A token for every time he had wronged me. Trinkets from childhood—a tennis bracelet, a brooch, a set of hairpins. Then, as we grew older, his apologies became more extravagant—jewelry, designer bags, diamond necklaces.

A full box. Overflowing.

I let out a hollow laugh. He had hurt me so many times.

One by one, I locked them inside the box and slid it under my bed. It could stay buried in this room, along with everything else that belonged to the past.  I had no need for it where I was going. I packed only the essentials—a few simple dresses and my grandmother’s in a small photo frame. 

The night before the wedding, Cassian knocked on my door. When I didn’t respond, he walked in anyway, holding a box wrapped in silver ribbon. He told me to wear it for tomorrow. When I opened the box, a gown lay neatly folded inside.