He Regretted Choosing His Mate But I Had Already Found My Alpha

By the end of my third month in Blackridge, Ronan could walk without his cane.

He still limped when tired, and cold weather stiffened the scar tissue around his hip, but the day he crossed the training yard under his own power, the entire pack stopped to watch.

No one cheered until he reached the far gate.

Then the sound shook snow from the roofs.

Ronan turned through the crowd and found me. Pride transformed his severe face. He did not smile for them. He smiled for me.

My heart made the mistake of answering.

That evening, he came to the hospital after the last patient left. He wore black trousers and a charcoal shirt open at the throat. He carried no cane. No medical excuse stood between us.

“I want to court you,” he said.

Of course he did not begin with flowers.

I put away a jar of dried yarrow. “You want to what?”

“Court you. Exclusively. Publicly.”

My hands went still.

Ronan stepped closer. “I have wanted you since you insulted me beside the fire.”

“That cannot be healthy.”

“I asked Callum. He said it is probably permanent.”

A laugh escaped me, but fear followed it. Adrian had also wanted me. He had wanted my patience, my body, my faith—until destiny offered him something stronger.

“I can’t.”

Ronan’s expression barely changed. Only the pulse in his throat betrayed him. “Do you not want me?”

The direct question was merciless.

I looked at his mouth. “Wanting is not the problem.”

“Then give me the problem.”

“I loved a man who made me feel necessary until he no longer needed me. I don’t know how to trust what happens after you are fully healed.”

“I am fully healed.”

“You still came here.”

“I came for you.”

The words struck too deep. I shook my head.

He held my gaze for a long moment. “Understood.”

He left without arguing. The quiet closing of the door hurt more than anger would have.

For the next week, he treated me with perfect respect. He attended his final examinations, thanked me in front of the council, and stopped bringing coffee.

I discovered that distance from Ronan was much more painful than distance from Adrian.

Then the full moon rose.

Blackridge celebrated the winter moon with a midnight run. I told myself I attended as the pack healer. I told myself I watched Ronan shift at the edge of the forest because an old injury should be monitored.

The truth was uglier and simpler.

I wanted him.

His wolf was enormous, black as the mountain sky, with silver eyes that found me even among hundreds. When the pack vanished between the pines, he remained for one breath longer. Then he followed.

My wolf paced beneath my skin all night.

Near dawn, I found Ronan alone by the hot springs beyond the keep. He had shifted back and pulled on loose trousers, but his chest was bare, steam curling over scars and hard muscle. Moonlight silvered the water behind him.

“You should not be here alone,” he said.

“Neither should you.”

“I am the Alpha.”

“You are still my most disobedient former patient.”

His gaze moved down my body. I wore a thin running dress beneath my cloak, and the moon had awakened every restless instinct in me. My skin felt too tight. My nipples hardened when cold air slipped beneath the fabric.

Ronan looked away as if it cost him.

“You refused me,” he said.

“I know.”

“I will not take advantage of moon-heat.”

“You think this is only the moon?”

His eyes snapped back to mine.

I let the cloak fall.

He crossed the distance between us so quickly I barely breathed. One hand closed around the back of my neck. The other gripped my waist, but he stopped with his mouth a whisper from mine.

“Tell me clearly.” His voice vibrated through my bones. “Do you want me?”

“Yes.”

“Tomorrow too?”

The honest answer frightened me. “Yes.”

His mouth came down on mine.

There was nothing gentle about the first kiss. Months of restraint broke at once. He tasted of cold air and wildness. I dragged my fingers into his hair, and a growl rolled from his chest when my body pressed against his.

He lifted me onto a flat stone warmed by the spring. His mouth moved down my throat, pausing over the frantic beat of my pulse. Teeth grazed my skin—not biting, asking.

“Ronan.”

“Say stop and I stop.”

“Don’t stop.”

He kissed me until every fear dissolved into heat. His hands learned the shape of me through cloth. I explored the powerful body I had once known only as a healer, tracing the scar at his side, the tense muscles of his back, and the place above his hip.

“Does this hurt?” I whispered.

“Only when you move away.”

So I did not.

He lowered me onto his discarded shirt, shielding me from the rough stone. When we joined, the first sharp stretch made me grip his shoulders. He froze instantly.

“Look at me,” he said.

I did.

The fierce hunger on his face was held in check by concern. That control undid me more completely than force ever could. I pulled him down and kissed him, giving permission with my mouth and my body.

The world narrowed to steam, moonlight, and the rhythm we found together. His name broke from me. Mine sounded like a vow in his rough voice. When pleasure finally crashed through me, my wolf howled inside my skin, and Ronan buried his face against my neck as if he could breathe me into his blood.

Afterward, he wrapped me in my cloak and held me against his chest.

“I will not pretend this meant less than it did,” he said.

“I don’t want you to.”

I believed courage might be enough until Helena Thorne summoned me.

Ronan’s mother, the former Luna, received me in a sunlit parlor. She was elegant, silver-haired, and cold in a way her son never was. Ronan’s coldness protected wounds. Hers searched for them.

“You have done valuable work,” she began.

“It's my duty.”

“But my son requires a Luna with bloodline, political training, and alliances. You are a packless healer who recently attached herself to another Alpha heir.”

Heat rushed into my face. “I did not attach myself to Adrian.”

“Men do not cross territories for women who mean nothing.”

“I refused him.”

“Ronan may believe that. Others will not.” She placed a velvet pouch on the table. Coins clicked inside. “Take this as gratitude and leave before desire becomes embarrassment.”

I stared at the pouch.

Once, I had begged Adrian not to give up during his darkest night. I had cleaned his blood, held his body, and loved him back into strength. He repaid me by asking me to stand quietly beside his true mate.

Now I had rebuilt another powerful man, and his family was offering payment to remove me.

The humiliation was so familiar I almost laughed.

“Tell Ronan I completed my contract,” I said.

Helena’s brows lifted. “He will ask why.”

“Then lie. You seem practiced.”

I left the pouch untouched.

Before sunset, I accepted a healer’s post in Stormhaven Pack. I wrote Ronan one sentence: I cannot be the weakness your family sees when they look at me.

Then I ran before he could make me stay.