He Said He Loved Me in Front of My Ex

My heart pounded loudly as I sat quietly across Zach.

We were both in a private room of the restaurant. His face was etched with seriousness, but I'm confident mine was filled with nervousness and worry.

"Is Caleb my son?" he asked. It looked like there would be no pleasantries and beating around the bush. He was a straightforward person, after all.

"You already know the answer to that question," I mumbled.

"I didn't know you never aborted our child," Zach uttered while looking me straight. "Do you still have feelings for me?" His calm and tentative tone made my hand tremble slightly.

I knew we would discuss Caleb's paternity, but it never dawned on me that we would also talk about our relationship. But hearing those words from his mouth took me back to when he was mine—the time when he was still gentle, sweet, and affectionate.

"What's the point of that question?" My voice quivered, but I heard the bitterness drip from my lips. "I already have a good life. And I'm sure yours are better."

I could still remember the girl's face I saw him with. She was pretty, prettier than me, even. And I knew from that girl's eyes that she loved Zach.

"Just answer my question, Ivy. Do you still have feelings for me or not?"

My mind completely shut down at his authoritative voice. Did I still have feelings for him? Maybe. I knew that I still cared about him because I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I wouldn't be hoping to explain my side.

Zach's Adam's apple moved. "If… if you still have feelings for me and haven't given up on us yet. Maybe… maybe we could start over." His eyes were filled with eagerness and sincerity as he spoke.

It almost broke my heart to see him like this.

"Let's forget the past. I don't care if you took the money or not because you kept our baby. I just want to give you and our son a home and a better life."

I gave a bitter smile as I listened to him ramble. Why were there so many regrets in the world if the past was so easy to let go of? Even if I could put the past behind us, how could we ever return to what we were? Too much has changed.

" Zach, even if you are okay with it, what about your mom and your family?" And the girl who loves you deeply. "It will be fine. Caleb and I are fine. We don't need monetary support from you."

Zach reached out to grab my hand and rubbed his bony finger against the back of my hand. "My mom won't mind as long as we don't get married..."

"Not getting married? Do you even hear yourself?" I asked, "Do you want me as your mistress or something you keep in a cage and occasionally play with?"

"Don't make it sound like that. I mean, as long as we are together, the rest—"

"Zach Dempsy! You are goddamn disgusting!" I pulled my hand back, and my heart broke into a million pieces. "Do you think I went through all of that six years ago just to end up like some fucking secret?"

"What do you think of me? What do you think of yourself? Do you even think about Caleb, or all you thought of was how to satisfy yourself?"

It was exactly as his mother had said back then: the only way I could be with Zach was to be his mistress, just like she was. We'd never be able to have a future together. Because Zach was an illegitimate child, so his family ignored him. The person he was going to marry had to be someone that could turn his life around. That person wasn't me.

"I know it's unfair to you, but this is the best plan I've got for you and our child. Caleb is already five years old; do you want him to grow up without a father and live in a single-parent household like you?" Zach was sad looking at me, and I could tell he was really in a dilemma and heartbroken, "I wanted to make it up to you and our son."

"Fine. If you really had Caleb's best interests at heart, then marry me and give him a whole family. We don't care about money or social standing as long as there's food and a place to live. Are you capable of doing so?"

"I can't. Not for the time being, at least. Ivy, could you please give me some space? My mother's life has been difficult recently, and she is not doing well. Her only wish is that I have a solid ground in that family."

"So it's not easy for your mom, but it's easy for me, right?" I laughed. The glint in his eyes was so hurtful that it made my heartache.

With my still shaking body, I said, "Yes, I did take the 500,000 dollars from your mom. But, Zach, do you know how your mother forced me to have an abortion and abandoned you? Do you believe I went abroad because I had given up on our relationship?"

"You know what, Zach, I'm not smart, but I'm also not dumb. We're both deceiving ourselves. And, yes, I do owe you a lot, but it is your fault."

Now that everything had gotten to this point, I didn't see the point of me holding back anymore. What Zach said today was concrete proof of my thoughts. He left me of his own will and would never give me a future even if I didn't take that money. So, I would rather that he hated me, retaliated against me, or even tortured me. It would prove that he had a clear conscience and did not give up on us. However, at that moment, it seemed that money and status were all he wanted!

Zach had changed. A lot.

He was no longer the man I knew. Or perhaps I never really got to know him.

Zach remained silent as if he agreed with my words. "Huh, of course..."

"Well, since you don't have any other choice, you don't have to choose. We will be exactly like what you said before, you live your life, and I live mine. We are done!" I mumbled, my eyes starting to well up with tears. I stood up and started to grab my bag and coat.

"Ivy, can you let it go that easily? Do you want to give up on us?" Zach yelled. I scowled.

As I approached the door, I turned my back on him and said, "Zach, I love you, but I'm not going to be the other woman who begs you to stay. So, this is it."

Without looking back, I gently closed the door, and tears streamed down my cheeks.

Maybe love wasn't really for me. This path gave me pain, and yes, it also gave me my greatest joy, Caleb, but I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't want to be associated with him anymore.